Page 28 - PA_Enterprise_May-June_2021

TRAINING
know the effect you experience, especially
when you have been interrupted, but it may be a
positive experience also.
Feedback always starts with an “I’ statement.
“I feel frustrated when I tell you something
personal and you take the subject away and
interject an experience of yours.”
The important elements are “I feel” and ‘when
you”. This way of communicating avoids blame or
accusing the other of wrongdoing, thus feeling
defensive, but it encourages being receptive to
hearing the error which is often an unconscious
way of communicating probably from old
patterns learned in childhood. When a person
is defensive, the ability to hear and be willing to
change is gone.
Non-verbal ways to communicate are beyond the
scope of this article, however they are important
ways to give and receive information.
Conflict resolution can be challenging but
necessary when opposing points of view prevail
in a relationship. Negotiating for a good time to
work on problem solving is a good idea. if both
are ready and willing to set time aside and are
willing to work on differences.
Next, set some basic rules. I recommend that
each person take an allotted time to talk
without interruption and the other person
listen actively, even take notes if both agree. I
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suggest 5 minutes each. This will bring several
differences out in the open and the next step
is to agree which ones to work on together,
using the communication skill discussed above,
paraphrasing, “I” statements, and feedback.
Negotiate a resolution that both agree on and
put that particular issue to bed. Of course any
promises made must be honored.
In any relationship we all bring something new.
Good ways of communicating can embellish and
lead to a mutually enriching relationship with
positive skills to resolve differences and share
experiences.
I strongly recommend beginning to teach good
communication skills in kindergarten and in
every grade thereafter. Such classes should
be as an important part of the curriculum
as reading, writing and arithmetic. Also,
universities must teach student teachers these
skills. Not only is poor communication the
cause of failed relationships in families, but also
in International relationships. Languages are
barriers enough, but conveying ideas, treaties,
agreements are all critical to good relations
between diplomats and nations. Positive and
effective communication has been too long
overlooked and a critical way that we share
who we are, but also get to know and respect
others. The world would be a better place and
relationships would be better if we had better
skills to interact with one another.