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problematic is when you’re doing it from a place “What might be more productive is to be more
of pressure or obligation -- when you feel like you aware of what we’re doing and how it impacts us
have to set a New Year’s resolution to hop on the on an ongoing basis so that we can be making
bandwagon like everyone else. adjustments in our lives to move towards what
“It’s probably more useful to look at what’s we really care about,” she says. She encourages
going on in our lives -- and especially given people to think in small, incremental terms
everything that has been asked of us and all of instead of big changes.
the adaptation we’ve been doing in 2020 -- if it’s If you would normally set a huge resolution to
a really good time to make a change,” says Dr. quit eating junk food in 2021, for example, make
Lazarus. that change a bit smaller. You could think about
If you decide that making some type of change is how much junk food you eat daily, and instead of
a good idea, then Dr. Lazarus suggests evaluating quitting it cold turkey, try limiting it to once a day
how big the change is and if that kind of change or enjoying your favorite meal once a week, no
is actually reasonable and realistic right now. matter how healthy it is.
“What we don’t want to do is set a really large Finally, consider why this small adjustment will
sweeping kind of goal and resolution and not make your life better. Do you know that making
meet it and feel more stressed and discouraged,” this change could help you feel better or happier
she says. on a daily basis? Or are you doing it because you
think you “should” do it?
Dr. Lazarus also says that people rarely do stick
to New Year’s resolutions, even in a normal year. Also, instead of trying to focus on bad habits
“And this is an especially difficult year that we or fixing what’s wrong in your life, Dr. Lazarus
don’t really want to set ourselves up for that kind suggests focusing on mindfulness and
of disappointment and stress that makes it even awareness, and releasing some of the self-
harder to cope,” she says. criticism. “So often in these times of stress, we
The stress and disappointment we sometimes tend to really focus on what’s wrong and what is
place ourselves can be counterproductive. “We unknown and what we need to worry about,” she
sometimes think it’s going to help us get more says. “But there are ways that we can kind of try
done or be more productive or make this change to shift our perspective and even just being more
we really want to make. I think it really tends to attentive, aware and grateful for the things that
just increase our stress and make things worse,” are going well or that are stable.”
says Dr. Lazarus. One way you can do this is by incorporating a
“See if you can be a bit gentler with yourself or mindfulness routine or ritual into your life. It
give yourself this same kind of grace that you doesn’t have to be elaborate or complicated --
might give to someone that you really love but if you need help figuring out where to start,
or care about who’s in a similarly challenging meditation apps offer helpful mindfulness tools,
situation,” she says. exercises and guided meditations.
“I do think trying to be more aware overall or
What should you do (if anything)? engaging in a practice like mindfulness that helps
If there was ever a year to give yourself a break, it’s give us perspective on a more regular basis [is
this year. But if you’re itching to make some type helpful],” says Dr. Lazarus.
of change or adopt a “fresh start” mentality in the
New Year, Dr. Lazarus suggests starting small. cnet.com
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