|
itsme_calista
|
 |
« Reply #15 on: February 10, 2009, 11:09:35 am » |
|
Muffin,
Our company has a bullying and harrassment policy which states " Harrasment is any unwanted physical, verbal or non-verbal conduct, which has the purpose or effect of affecting workers' dignity or creates an intimidating, hostile, degradin, humiliating or offensive environment.
Harrassment generally arises whre a worker has made it clear that they find certain behaviour unwelcome and that behaviour has continued unchanged.
The procedure for dealing with it as follows;
Make it clear to your harasser that the behaviour is unacceptable and must stop. You should explain clearly to the person responsible that the bahviour in question is not welcome and that it offends you or makes you uncomfortable. If you cannot speak to the individual, you should try handing a written request to the harasser.
If the behaviour continues or escalates then a complaint (in writing) must be made to your line manager and the line manager of the individual where necessary.
Keep a note of any instances where the behaviour occurs and if you have witnesses, being fobbed of by other people could make them complicit in the harrassment.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Jackie G
|
|
« Reply #16 on: February 10, 2009, 12:34:11 pm » |
|
While this is not something to be taken lightly by anyone, feelings have got a little high in these posts.
I know that some of you have had experience (either personally or indirectly) of things like this in the past and this has clearly coloured some postings.
Again, just a reminder, play nice!!
And Muffin, good for making a decision about what to do and acting on it. Keep us posted as to how you get on with your union.
Jackie, Peer Moderator
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
peaches2160
|
|
« Reply #17 on: February 11, 2009, 01:47:31 am » |
|
Bear in mind, if I have read this correctly, the words were not said to her. They were repeated by a co-worker. Therefore, they are considered hear say.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Susan123456
Newbie
Posts: 13
|
|
« Reply #18 on: February 11, 2009, 07:34:21 am » |
|
Thank you all for your support and advice. I appreciate it greatly. Here is the latest.
When I was alone with the coworker who told me about that comment, she confirmed that he, in fact, did say that I was "fu_d up." I wrote to the manager and asked him to note this, whether or not he thought it was hearsay and to please talk to the gossiper.
I also contacted my Union and they told me that they could help if this behavior continued.
Yesterday the gossiper called me at work (he works the earlier shift) and told me that after thinking about it, he remembered that he did say the I was "fu-d up." He told me that it was in the context of the other person complaining about me. And today he went on about how he feels like he is in the middle of a conflictual relationship between me and the other coworker. It is true that she and I often butt heads. He also went on about what a difficult person I am to work with -- did not give me specifics today. He suggested a mediation session to which I enthusiastically agreed. The other coworker with whom I butt heads does not agree to mediate. She wants to document his behavior and actions and take it to our manager. If that does not help, she told me that she will go to plan B. She also has problems with this coworker. I want to proceed with the mediation with the gossiper and have a Union rep present.
Despite his admitting that we all have a role to play in what is going on, I feel that the gossiper is manipulative and is just trying to pit me and the other coworker as the bad guys,
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
gee4
|
|
« Reply #19 on: February 11, 2009, 09:03:17 am » |
|
Muffin, also bear in mind that "the gossiper" wants to clear his name. By owning up and admitting what he did he wants to get back into everyone's good books. He still said something he shouldn't.
The co-worker in the meantime is miffed that you 2 are making up so to speak so she is huffing and doesn't want to get involved. Shame really considering she got involved in the gossiping in the first place!
Good luck with the mediation session. In my opinion, neither of these individuals are to be trusted.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
peaches2160
|
|
« Reply #20 on: February 11, 2009, 11:14:44 am » |
|
Good luck with the mediation. It does sound like the gossiper has been called out and is now scurrying away to not face the music and own up. Although what was said is wrong, I hope you all can clear the air and you can take their constructive criticism and turn it around and put it to good use for the future. Too bad it has to come to this but hopefully it will turn out and all will learn from it.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Susan123456
Newbie
Posts: 13
|
|
« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2009, 03:59:20 pm » |
|
I am going to ask that coworker who told me about the malicious gossip to mediate. My bet is she will refuse. This coworker can be volatile at times -- which is why our working relationship isn't what I would like.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
peaches2160
|
|
« Reply #22 on: February 12, 2009, 01:29:32 am » |
|
If the Union requests her to be there, wouldn't she have to comply?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Susan123456
Newbie
Posts: 13
|
|
« Reply #23 on: February 12, 2009, 05:52:58 am » |
|
No she does not have to comply. I spoke with her and she does not want to mediate. I am much more mistrustful of the male coworker who said I am f_d up. I think he is a trouble maker. I have an appt with the Union tomorrow morning. Thank you everyone for all your support and guidance. Edited by jackie on 12/02/09 12:54 PM. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
shirley.haworth
Newbie
Posts: 22
|
|
« Reply #24 on: February 12, 2009, 07:53:53 pm » |
|
I really sympathise with you. And hope so much you resolve this.
I am currently experiencing the same problem, my admin line manager is gossipping to my coworker (and trusted friend) about me. Coworker has warned me. I cannot confront manager for fear of betraying co-worker's confidence. And Im new and was desperate for this job. I dont want to involve the Directorr who I am PA to. Figure I'll just keep my head down and ignore the Manager. Rise above it as all you ladies seem to say to do. I'll just continue to cry in the car on the way home, ha. And always remember that if people say horrible things about you then they musnt like themselves very much.
Keep on truckin...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
gee4
|
|
« Reply #25 on: February 12, 2009, 08:37:37 pm » |
|
Yes it's a difficult one and of course you don't want your trusted friend and co-worker to get into trouble.
Are you able to confide in anyone else, another co-worker or manager perhaps? You shouldn't have to put up with this. Anyone who gossips has little else to do and as you say, obviously doesn't like themselves very much.
People tend to avoid a bully, keep their head down but this only allows them to carry on with their silly games. If you can ignore it, but if things get worse I would speak with your bullying and harrassment officer or HR.
Your trusted friend and co-worker should do you a favour and put an end to this also.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
