Setbacks, Part 2

[jadegrniiz]

Since my first thread seemed to be getting quite lengthy, (and stale, topic-wise... NOT advise wise!) I thought I'd post a new part of my problems in a new thread.



My husband and I have crunched numbers every way possible, and it appears that the only option we have is my staying home and taking in a few additional kids on the side for income. I'm really torn.... I've *always* wanted to work with children. I was supposed to go to college to be a teacher, but had to drop out when I was pregnant with my first child. When I went back to school, I worked at a daycare center to help reduce the need for student loans. Even after I had to go back into the workplace, I always longed for my old job at the daycare.



That is, until I got my first job in non-profit organizations. I love my job, and I love what I do. I hate my paycheck. If hubby hadn't taken the paycut when we moved... money wouldn't matter much on my end, and I'd just do whatever it is that kept my boat afloat. Unfortunately, I no longer have the luxury.



Here's my question (finally!). I have my 90-day review coming up here in the next 2 weeks sometime. Do I go out on a limb, and tell my ever-so-wonderful and understanding boss that I'm not so sure I can afford to come back after baby? Do I ask her to consider re-writing my job description, which would re-classify the position and offer a better salary? Do I tell her that unless I make more money, I can't come back from leave? Or, do I tell her absolutely nothing, pretend everything is just hunky-dory and blindside her come December when I don't return?



It's a double-sided sword. I need my insurance offered by my current job to help take the edge off the medical bills, and also pay for the baby's post-delivery care. My hubby does have insurance.... but it's lousy coverage with high deductables and expensive premiums. My insurance will take the sting out of the bills for the delivery and post-partum care and etc.  I also need to be able to work as closely to the birth as my health can afford in order to make ends meet. SO.... do I take a risk they say "See-ya!", and hope that instead they offer me a little more money?  Or, like I said.... do I keep my trap shut and wait til my leave is over?



 

[winkiebear]

Jade, keep it quiet ... the worst thing an employer wants to hear is that a Mommy isn't coming back after the birth ... bossie is probably wondering anyway, but there's no need to make it known now!



Even though bossie is 1 in a million ... I'd still keep it quiet.



just my 2 cents...

 

[goldenearring]

Keep your job; use the insurance; don't freak out.  Something will break, just don't let it be you.  Sometimes 90-day reviews give good raises.  Worst case scenario, maybe after the baby is born you can work out a deal to work from home 2-3 days a week.  But definitely don't bring that up at this point.  You've hardly been there, and they hired you in good faith knowing you were pregnant, I believe.  They must have liked you a lot.



(I'm tellin' ya, if you just chatted with everyone who comes within 3 feet of you, every day, you'd have enough names to book some Discovery Toys shows, recruit some folks, and bring in some extra income.)  Working with kids is one thing, but daycare is somethin' else, IMHO.  I couldn't do it, and my hat's off to anyone who can.

[lioness70]

Having been through this with DS, I also say:  don't tell them!  It is a good sign that they hired you knowing you were pregnant.  A lot of companies won't even consider a pregnant woman...I hate to say it, but in this lousy economy, most companies would politely steer me towards the door as soon as they saw I was 6 months pregnant!  When I took the other job 2 years ago, I was 3 months pregnant and didn't tell a soul I was until my pregnancy became too obvious.



In my case, I only took the job for extra money for the baby-my husband's insurance covered everything.  It was only a short-term thing and I think everybody knew it (and I never said otherwise).  I would wait and see what happens after you have the baby.  If this employer likes you that much, they may accomodate your needs after she is born.  Or, like the others said, you might get a raise before you leave.  I'd wait this one out!

[jadegrniiz]

GE, I'm beginning to think you are a closet Educational Consultant (or know one!)



I got my very first daycare booking for Discovery Toys this week. It's a fairly small, but upper-class group of children.... and the set goal for the sale is upwards of $500. Works for me.... the extra $$ will come in handy, and just in time for baby!



I feel terrible about even thinking about leaving this job. I went out of my way to assure the BIG Boss (while interviewing) that I would be returning to work after baby. Of course, I also had told them my minimum salary requirements (which is SUBSTANCIALLY less than what I accepted).



If I come back to work, it's got to be full time. No part time gigs here....  Infant daycare doesn't offer part time rates (at least the one I've chosen), so it's an all or nothing deal.



I suppose I can keep it quiet, but I've gotta tell ya.... it kills me to feel "deceitful" like this. I even think they are trying to put together a surprise baby shower.



I can also hope that the past few months of casual office chit-chat was heard with big ears. I've mentioned a number of times how I can't afford certain things... how I've had to borrow from my mom to help pay for bills... etc...  maybe they know I'm struggling to keep this job, and will offer more?  Eh, maybe wishful thinking...  



Here's to the Lotto ticket I bought today.



 

[workerbee]

It's a dangerous thing to tell your boss that you might not come back after your baby is born.  I've seen it happen, and the woman was let go just before her leave.  (So much for trying to be considerate.)



You need this insurance to cover the birth of your baby.  Don't take a chance on losing it.  



Best of luck!



Elaine

[goldenearring]

I'm sorry, jade, but I don't even know what an Educational Consultant is.  I'm so glad I've annoyed you into doing what I know you can do though:  book, book, book, sell, sell, sell, recruit, recruit, recruit!  If you hold one-two shows a week, whether you feel like it or not (assuming all is well with you after the babe is birthed), you will be astounded at what happens in your life over the course of a year.  Inconvenient:  yeah.  BUT, you seem like the type who is "willing to do what others won't so you (and your family) can have what others don't!!!"



You are not being deceitful; you are being emotional:  just like anybody would be in your position.  You, hubby, and your calculator have whipped yourself into a prenatal frenzy, which is understandable.  However, you need to have some faith, and faith requires action.  You took some action by doing what you can do right now:  you booked a D.T. class!!!!  You may feel deceitful today, but you may be danged happy later down the road when you have perhaps changed your mind about this whole situation and you really want to work at the non-profit *and* enjoy the extras that your D.T. business can bring to you if you work it slow and steady.



OK, I'm not an Ed. Cons., but a cheerleader!  Actually, I never tried out for cheerleading because, even though I looked like one, any attempt at gymnastic maneuvers on my part have always met with total disaster.  But, girlfriend, I'm sitting here shaking a pom pom for you.  Now, remember to offer a small gift for the person with the most referrals for you at this daycare show!!!!  :   )    (Spread out smiley face so it doesn't take on a separate life of its own.  I'm in control here!! LOL)

[bethanial]

On the insurance, I don't know much about COBRA, but I do know small companies don't qualify.  So I'm assuming COBRA is not an option for you.  But have heart, in Georgia, we have this thing called Georgia Continuation (maybe there's something similar in FL).  If you leave employ for any reason other than being fired, you qualify.  What it is, you pay your employer 3 months of premium (in full, at one time, the only sucky part), and you have guaranteed coverage for the next 3 months.  If you do really decide on the daycare option, and if FL offers something similar, maybe this would help some with the medical bills.

[countrigal]

Warning... something I heard today - haven't double checked but something to bring up for discussion.  A woman was in your situation, worked up till birth and then was off for maternity leave... and had to come back to work for a certain amount of time in order for her not to be responsible for paying a penalty or somesuch for the insurance costs charged to the company directly before she left. I believe she had to come back for 3 months so she didn't have to pay anything more.  Look into that so it doesn't bite you when you don't need it to!



Also, I assume you're going to try to give bossie some sort of notice on not returning (not wait till the day you're expected back and then call in saying "Oops. forgot to tell you I quit")...if so, at that time is when you might tell bossie that you love working for him, love the job, but that financially you can't make it on what you're getting paid there.  Give them a chance to say "Oh, but we want to keep you..." and maybe offer you more pay or whatever.  



(btw... are we not held to 2 weeks notice even if we've been out on maternity leave?  I know AL is an "at will" state, so that's not such a big deal except for the professionalism, but I would think that even though we're women and have the babies that we'd still give 2 week notice like a man would be expected to do...  Maybe it's only calling in 2 weeks before our expected return date but it's still notice of some sort.  Or am I off base? Haven't been in this predicament so I don't know.)

[bethanial]

I've been told to give the notice two weeks before expected return date, if quitting work is the game plan.

[goldenearring]

Why not go back to work and try it out for a couple of weeks.  Maybe they would be willing to work out a deal where you can work from home a day or two a week.  We have a person who does that where I work because she has two small children, and it works out well for everybody plus it saves her two days' worth of daycare expenses.  Given the state you are in right now, the emotions running high (probably the hormones doing trapeze acts, too), it might be a good idea just to sit on all of this stuff until after the baby has arrived and what I like to call the "hormonal reentry phase" has occurred.  Even if it's only a month or two before babe is here, all kinds of things could happen.  I do have to say, though, for as nice as these folks have been, I personally wouldn't want to blindside them.  If leaving is the final decision, then a 2-4 week transition period seems only fair.  Otherwise, you may sour their grapes for another person in your situation when they look for a replacement.  In the meantime, get out there and book some DT appts!!  :    )

[jadegrniiz]

If I go back to work.... baby would LITERALLY have to come with me. All 40 hours worth. We simply do not have the money (and know we certainly won't after I've been out of work for 6+ weeks). Daycare is $520 paid at the beginning of each month in lump sum (GULP), and there is no discount for part time, half time, one day a week or whatever. Our family is a minimum of 1.5 hrs away, and everyone works, anyhow.... so a freebie grandma sitter can't work either. I don't know anyone here, and can't possibly get to know someone well enough at this point in the pregnancy where I'd trust them with my newborn all day. It's pretty much cut and dry: I get a good raise between now and when I come back from my LOA, or I have to stay home.



As for the insurance, luckily... the company mandates prepayment, so the insurance that I get effective 9/1/01 has been deducted from my paycheck since 8/1/01. So in essence, I could leave today, and have insurance coverage thru 10/1/01 with no further amounts due. The only thing I have to do is pay the same portion that is withdrawn from my check each pay period to the benefits office while I'm on leave... and my insurance will remain in full effect.



I wish there was in fact a way to take my current job and do it from home. But, I can't do it. My responsibilities will be increasing after my leave to include giving facility tours, arranging and attending late afternoon meetings and also a huge, week-long special event I'll have to attend. I can't see how on earth I could have baby in tow for those duties. And even if it was "possible", there are so many people out there that can't stand people who bring their kids to the office (see any previous thread on the issue if you need the proof) that I'd just prefer to make other arrangements.



I guess I'll just figure out my "return to work day" after baby is born, and 2 weeks prior to that day, I'll visit the office and have a pow-wow with bossie about my situation. Maybe she can work miracles with the payroll system. Or maybe not. BUt thanks to you guys for the advice.... because otherwise, I'd be telling her next week at review time!











 

[goldenearring]

You're doing the right thing, even if it doesn't feel like the right thing, because all kinds of things can happen between now and then.  Just keep on doing the best you know how to do and, somehow, amazingly enough, it will all work out for the best (even though it hurts right now, I know).

[goldenearring]

I have a situation I'm working on at work, jade, that I wish I could share here, but it wouldn't be cool.  Mulling it over this afternoon brought back a very "true truism":  If it can be fixed with money, it is NOT a problem!  Chew on that one for awhile, and it may give you an attitude of gratitude which I've always found is the beginning of any spurt of prosperity.  (Have you booked another show yet . . . ?)  ;  -  )

[jadegrniiz]

Yanno, GE.... that's a very interesting quote. Definately food for thought, and quite possibly right on target.