Sticky Situation

[patphi]

I am in a sticky situation at work and need some real serious advise.

I've been working for a woman who has been very nice to me for the most part.  We have had a couple of challenges which have been washed away.  I've worked for Nora (not her real name) for 3 years.  When Nora took a new position with the company I was brought along to continue my support of her.  And at the same time I gained two additional people to support both of whom are Senior Executives with the company.  I have gotten nothing but good comments from all and my last performance review was tops and I got a nice raise out of it.

The challenge is that while Nora got a good review and increase in salary, she did not get the promotion she expected and was sort of promised.  Well, this has led to Nora filing an EEOC claim against the company.  Until the claim is settled she still works for the company and continues to come to the office everyday.  She more or less expects me to side with her regarding all the issues involved but I can't.  First, I think she is wrong in some instances.  While one of the Senior Executives whom I support and is also her boss has made some unthinking type mistakes, I don't think they could be considered harasmennt or anything like that.  Anyway this whole situation as escalated beyond belief.  It is now at the point that no matter what this executives says to her she takes it wrong and runs to her attorney with it.

I need to protect myself.  At my age I won't be able to find another position very easily and I have a lot invested in the company (better than 10 years).

I don't want to upset her because I still need to work very closely with her and on the other hand I don't want our boss to think that because I let her vent at me that I side with what she has chosen to do.  I'm at the point I don't know what to do.

I feel I am caught between a rock and a hard place and that I have been sucked into something I would rather have not gotten into.

Any advise?

[gee4]

Answer - you do your job and don't entertain her vents.  If you have to mention this to her then do in the most professional way you can.  You are employed to work not take sides.  She should understand this and take on board that you have a professional job to do also.  She should appreciate your honesty rather than getting involved and it should not affect your job in the company that you are distancing yourself from her and the situation.

If you need to, talk to HR or someone else in confidence.  The last thing you need is to be mentioned in a law suit as a witness!

Plain and simple!

G

[JessW]

Patphi

I am sorry that you are in this situation.  I have had similar encouters which happily for me did no real damage to myself (one is still on-going and the other could still backfire but for the fact the secretaries are meant to be the 'keeper of the secrets' - teehee).

I would recommend that you find / chose as neutral a boss type as you can find.  Keep that person briefed as to what is said, done, written etc and make it abundantly clear that you are neutral in this matter.  You can and will still support in a professional manner all parties concerned, but that you have no opinion in this matter as it is theoretically none of your business.  You are hired to do a job of work and please to let you do just that.

I know that sounds callous and very much jobs-worth but you were not hired to play one boss against another or to chose between your boss, your job and the company that pays your wages.

Do nothing / say nothing that if it were overheard by a third (possibly biased) party could be used against you.

This is how I would deal with the matter.  You should however use such means that make you feel comfortable as only you know the whole story from your perspective.

Good luck and let us know if you need to talk, how it goes etc.

Jess

[raindance]

I agree with the others - stay out of this situation as best you can.  If I may add my two cents here, I would let her "vents" go so far only. You can make sympathetic noises, without actually taking sides, or just listen.  Alternatively, you can are quite entitled to say "Nora, I appreciate you are going through a difficult time and that you are taking certain actions against your employers, but please appreciate that I work here and cannot take sides in this matter."

In addition, I strongly recommend that you keep a diary from now on.  Brief notes of what happens on a day-to-day basis may prove to be a protection for you.  If you are ever asked questions or you simply need to refresh your memory about events, then you will have a record to refer to.  

Other than this, you just have to try to keep smiling, try to rise above this and put your best (professional) foot forward.  And come and vent to us if you need to let off steam.

Best wishes,

Raindance

[patphi]

Thanks to all those who replied.  Staying out of the situation is easier said than done.  Because of a very bad manager a few years ago I almost left the company and Nora "saved" me.  She hired me knowing that I was in a horrible environment and that I was ready to leave the company.  She has been a very good boss and has always treated me with much respect.  I am trying to be supportive of her without getting involved.  The things that are happening now is not typical of the Nora I know.  So much of it is out of character for her.  But I gues you just never know.

Any way I am going to try to remain supportive of her and stay out of the middle of the rest of it.

By the way I talked to the executive involved (who also is a very nice person and has just been boxed into a corner), he understands the issues involved and told me to not worry that he knows I am in a difficult situtation which made me feel better.

Again, thanks to all who listened to me rant on yesterday.  I guess it was a bad day and had gotten to me.  Today is another day - hopefully a better one.

[msmarieh]

I would say straight out... I like and respect you and I have greatly enjoyed working with you over the years. However, with a lawsuit pending, I am very uncomfortable discussing any details of the lawsuit. I am asking that you please not discuss anything related to the case with me.

Marie

[sburks]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.  It is unfortunate that sometimes bad management can lead to situations like this.  It effects not only other employees, but also the company as a whole.  If not handled properly, the company will suffer along with you, the employee.  I hope things get better.