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nolalady
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« on: March 20, 2002, 04:41:26 pm » |
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1. Only in America...... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America...... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America...... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America...... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America...... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America...... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America...... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America...... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America...... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America...... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering?.
EVER WONDER:Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Whyisn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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chris68
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« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2002, 04:49:01 pm » |
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 !!!! Thanks for the much needed giggle! Thankfully I wasn't drinking any liquid at the time or I would be paying for it like a few others this morning have! These were great! Chris68
Deskdemon Forum Board Staff  |
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superninjaadmin
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« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2002, 05:35:16 pm » |
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ROFL... Those are so true! I'm sure we can tack on many other examples along the same lines. Thanks for the smile  SNA |
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radaro
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« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2002, 05:39:13 pm » |
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Like:
Why do we call it the down escalator? Why not the descendalator?
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phoenix55
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« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2002, 08:29:42 pm » |
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Okay, believe it or not I've got the answer to why women open their mouths when putting on liner and mascara. Evidently (or so I've read), when you open your mouth, the muscles you use keeping your mouth open somehow stabilize the muscles around your eyes so they don't twitch.
It's a good excuse anyway.
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blufire21
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« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2002, 08:32:31 pm » |
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Until this posting, I never really thought about the mascara thing. Now that I think about it, it's true.....
Ellen (trying to put on her mascara w/o opening her mouth) in TX
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superninjaadmin
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« Reply #6 on: March 20, 2002, 10:34:10 pm » |
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Ellen, you never cease to crack me up with your signature lines...  SNA (still laughing at Ellen and her sense of humor) |
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laundryhater
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« Reply #7 on: March 22, 2002, 04:17:44 pm » |
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Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
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