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lioness70
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« Reply #15 on: January 29, 2002, 10:47:14 pm » |
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I statred that last job that didn't work out on December 6, 2000 (I came across the date while throwing out my old Day Planner pages)...and I was bonding with my beautiful new baby girl exactly a year later, December 6, 2001!
Things really did change in a year, and for the better!
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superninjaadmin
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« Reply #16 on: January 29, 2002, 11:43:21 pm » |
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That is so cool! Yes...things happen the way they're supposed to happen. BTW...Not trying to be nosey... Just curious cuz I like girls' names. What is your baby girl's new name? (No kids yet, but I would love to have a little girly some day!) I'm tossed up when it comes to naming a girl.  SNA |
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kittie
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« Reply #17 on: January 30, 2002, 01:45:51 pm » |
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Sorry but I can't agree with this.
You are a mother first and foremost. Jobs can come and go, but your family will always be there. What 'business' people fail to recognise is that for some people work and careers are not the 'be all and end all" (ie there's more to life than work).
I also think that some people fail to see the basic biological differences in women - we have the babies and worry about them, we sometimes get PMS etc - and that however we try, it does affect our work performance.
That said, it shouldn't give anyone carte blanche to spend all day on personal calls etc, but it must be remembered that babies/children worries/PMS are not problems that can be left at home or a pill taken to make them go away while you are at work. A little understanding and patience are needed - I get so angry with people who can't see what the problem is (ie you're worried about your kids) because they don't suffer the same problems.
Let's all remember that however much you love your job, family has to come first, and if that means a little patience and understanding from your boss to make your job easier so that you can perform better, so be it.
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lilithd
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Posts: 17
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« Reply #18 on: January 30, 2002, 08:31:15 pm » |
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Kittie, I agree with you, and I *am* a mother first and foremost. I've never had a job yet that stands between me and my children. However, being a single parent, I have had many jobs that stood between me (and my children) and starvation. There must be a happy medium here. Any new job I get, I make it clear from the very start that my children's welfare come first. If it snows, I will leave or stay home, whatever the case may be. If the day care calls and tells me one of the girls are sick, I leave. Although I have had some try to fight me, I feel so strongly about it, and I do my job so well, that they let me "get away with it." To allow me to focus at work, I had to bring pictures of my children to work with me. I have my oldest daughter's artwork up all over my office now, so all our clients can see it. My current boss was a single parent mother when her children were young, so she's very understanding. However, lose your focus, get jumped. She expects work while you're here. Well, at least most of the time, anyway.  |
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lioness70
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« Reply #19 on: January 31, 2002, 07:39:04 pm » |
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Very well said, Kittie. I was really peeved when my former company became upset when I had to take my son for his well-baby checkups (if I couldn't get an appointment before my start time, well, the baby needed his shots!) and especially when they wouldn't let me go home early so I could avoid driving in a snowstorm! That showed me the company didn't care about my child's safety and welfare. All they cared about was I wouldn't be around to be a backup admin. They even told me in so many words that my mother-in-law was watching him, so he should be HER concern! I don't think so-I'm his mother-he's MY responsibility! Clearly, I was the wrong person for this job (I don't know why I was hired when I TOLD them that my son's needs came FIRST!), and when I was laid off, I was relieved. If they could not respect the fact that my child came first, that was not a place where I wanted to work. I am upset for Bridget because they SHOULD respect the fact that she's a mother as well as an employee. But the way things are, some employers put women into a position where they have to choose. I chose my kids. BTW, Super, my baby girl's name is Holly.
Edited by lioness70 on 31/01/02 06:43 PM. |
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superninjaadmin
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« Reply #20 on: January 31, 2002, 08:44:52 pm » |
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Hi Lioness, Glad to see you have your priorities straight and that you are your kids' mom. Dr. Laura would be proud of you, I think. I read a quote some time a while back that was profound. I can't recall the exact wording but it was along the lines of "In 100 years from now, no one will remember the type of car I drive or how big my house is, but what will matter is the time I take today to help make a difference in a child's life." BTW, I love the name Holly! Thanks for sharing and gIve her a hug. I have a new little niece that was born on Nov. 20, so they are only a couple weeks apart! Congratulations again!   SNA |
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kittie
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« Reply #21 on: February 01, 2002, 09:56:09 am » |
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I'm glad I'm not alone in my feelings. I don't have children yet, but I do know that when/if I do, they'll come first. You would think that it was predominantly men that didn't understand our concept of 'baby/family' first, but I know that there are some women bosses who are just as guilty of it.
I've learned from that experience that although I will always put 150% into doing my job well, my happiness, family and (sanity) come first!
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