Someone who is in your personal space

[Alice P.]

At my work I have a new mid manager.   I help out the department (as well as my manager of course) and as my job he can ask me to do some tasks, or relay messages to my manager.  What bothers me is he stands too close and talks to close.  It is nothing personal, is doesn't try to get "close" to me and it is  not at all like sexual harassment.  He is one of those people that just.. invade your personal space.   I have talked about it with a few friends at work and we all agree, but we can't figure a way to politely say.. see my arm?  I am putting it straight in front of me, just stay that far away.  My co workers and I would like to know if anyone has any suggestions!  He is one of the nicer and easy to work with managers, as I said, he just likes to stand and talk a bit too close. 

Thanks!

[gee4]

I have an odd one or two people who do this in work also.  One in fact comes right round the back of me to stand at the side of my desk in between me and the window instead of standing on the other side where most normal people approach me.

I asked him once if he could come round to the other side of my desk as I can speak to better from that angle.  The light from the window, the lights overhead and his height just caused me all sorts of problems but I have to keep checking him on it which makes it even more annoying.

One thing I have learnt to do is, lock my keyboard, get up from my desk and walk away, even if I have to make an excuse to go the post room, the ladies room, or the photocopier.  I do something to try and give that person a hint if nothing else.

Another thing you can do is, if you see someone approaching, open a drawer or cupboard beside you to lessen the space.  Ensure there is no chair free which they can pull up.  If you are busy doing a complex task just say so, they can always come back or speak to you another time in which case you can go to their desk or space.  I have also been known to pick up the phone and pretend to call someone, just so that person wouldn’t hover.

I had one individual stand over me while I started to book travel for him one day last week.  I asked him was there anything else and when he said no I’m just standing here, I said well there’s no need.  He got the message and was a bit sheepish for a day or two but quite frankly, I don’t need supervising by these people and I’m not 5 years old.

If you feel uncomfortable, it is your right to say so. 

[msmarieh]

I have spoken up when that has happened. Usually I back up and say, I'm sorry, you're standing so close my eyes are having a little trouble focusing on your face (with a smile).