Unprofessional?

[psychodelic13]

Please help!!

I work in a university where our main task is to serve the students.  There are four program assistants and some students who are part of a "telephone roll" and are responsible for answering calls ( I am one of the assistants). Another program assistant left for a better job two weeks ago so now we are short handed.  
Last week I was working at my desk when I started notocing that I was getting lots of calls, which is unusual for me since I am at  the end of the "phone roll", one of the calls I received was for A; I tried to transfer the call to her extension but she wasn't there. I then tried  the students' extension to ask them about A but got no response from any of the extensions I dialed. I helped the student on the phone and then decided to go to the other office to see where everyone had went. A had called a meeting with all the students (3) and were in the conference room. When I approached the door she called me in to ask me something. I answered her question and proceeded to tell them that I didn't know where they were and that was trying to transfer calls but no one answered their extensions.  A said she was sorry and asked me if I had taken care of the student. I answered with a "yes, I took care of him" and left. Next thing I know she is in my boss' office complaining that I unprofesional for saying what I said in front of the students. Later that day I was lectured by my boss about the issue.
Please take into consideration that A is the type of person who is very good at playing being your friend and making you feel special but has the worst work ethic I have ever seen.  Most of the times she is either on her cellphone, chating online or in other people's offices. She delegates most of her duties to the student workers. Has brought her 16 month-old baby to work several times because she can't afford daycare and rearly makes up her time when late.  
Do you think that is fair that I was reprimanded for what I did and A wasn't for not letting everyone know where she and the students were? She is obviously doing things that effects other people's ability to do their jobs (unprofessionalism) and is "stealing" from the university by getting paid for not doing her job?  What can I do?

[gee4]

I have read and re-read this a couple of times and perhaps may have acted like you did in a previous life.  

However perhaps in hindsight you could have spoken to her alone when the students had gone.  Yes she was unprofessional by not informing anyone of her whereabouts nor putting a message on her phone should a caller ring.  She was obv narked that you confronted her in front of a group of students so it is just a case of you acting on the spot.

I am sorry you have been lectured about this since she is obv getting away with quite a lot.  Can you raise this with someone or seek further advice?

G

[raindance]

I have a few personal rules for my professional life that have served me well over the years.  One of them is that I never admonish someone over whom I don't have any authority and the other is that if I do have to bring something to someone's attention I always try to leave that person with their dignity. So the questions you might wish to ask yourself are: do I have any authority over this person? Did I cause her to "lose face" in front of other people? Would I like to be spoken to in that manner if I were in her position?  What can I learn from this?

I appreciate that the person you describe is no doubt extremely frustrating to you and your colleagues because she doesn't appear to play by the rules of your company, but however much this person's "bad" behaviour impacts on your ability to do your job it is really up to her manager to deal with it.  

You must do as you please, but if it were me in your place I would wait a day or two and go to my manager to say that I had reflected on what he/she had said and realized that it might have been inappropriate for me to speak to A-person about this, but you wish him/her to appreciate your concerns about this situation.  And then you can express your concerns about this colleague and her performance.  If you do this in a calm, grown-up manner it will show that you are: reflective, mature and have only the company's best interests at your heart.

Trust me.  Done properly, you'll come out of it smelling of roses.

My two bitz.

Raindance

[countrigal]

I agree with Raindance.  Given the situation, knee-jerk response is to bring this up immediately with the person.  But I've been on that side and had reasons that would have justified myself if only the person attacking me had taken the time to discuss it with me in a private manner.  And it gets my defenses up if someone blindsides me like that in front of others, especially if those folks are my subordinates.  Defnitely take a day or 2 and then go back to you manager and do as Raindance suggested.  This gives you the opportunity to look better (more mature) and gives you a chance to bring up your concerns about her actions in a way that might result in corrective actions being taken.  And I'd go one step further and actually go to Person A and apologise for saying what you did in front of the students, telling her that you were just miffed that you were trying to do your job, answer the phone and help a student, and were unaware that the meeting was going on and that no one else was going to be available for a time to assist with those calls.  And then follow that with a humble request that perhaps next time she could let you know when she's having those meetings so that you don't foul up again.  (By seeming to take all the blame, it makes her less defensive and more willing to give you the desired outcome, and also makes you appear the better person to others.)

In the meantime... chuck it up to lessons learned and try to find a way to address the real issues -- her behavior at work and how it affects your ability to do your work.  Good luck!

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

[psychodelic13]

When I was being lectured by my boss, I recognized that my behavior had been inappropriate. Boss seemed satisfied but suggested that I attended some sort of training to learn how to communicate better and how to deal with difficult people. I also found out that at our next staff meeting, it will be suggested that all program assistants send a courtesy email to let the rest know when we will be away from our desks for more than 15 min.
The problem today is that she was trying to transfer a call to B who sits next to my desk but who at the time of the call was leaving the office to get a soda. A was apparently calling B's extension but B's phone was transfered to mine. When the call rolled to me, she asked for B and I told her she wasn't at her desk and A hang up the phone (didn't say ok, bye or anything). My phone rang again and was one of the coordinators (J); she asked me for B and told me the call was important. By this time B was back in the office but not at her desk yet. I made eye contact with B and told her she had an important call so she started walking to her desk. J said "I am transfering the call" to which I replied "don't transfer it to me B is on her way to her desk". She said "I am not trying to transfer it to you, I've been calling B's extension but you keep answering it". Then said ok in a frustated tone and hang up.
I thought the situation was weir because of the way she reacted (or overeacted). Then J walked into our office and said, with a loud voice, "I was trying to transfer an important call and you were not very nice. I know there was been tension between you and A but we all need to get along!" I was very surprised but she has screamed at us before (without being reprimanded) so I thought it was just one of her "episodes". I tried to explain what happened but she wouldn't listen.
I think that what happened with me, A and the students a couple of days ago  is affecting the way people see me know. Whatever I do now is seens as if I am trying to cause trouble.  What can I do to "clean"  my image and what can I say to J? Talk about being unprofessional!!

[countrigal]

I would do as I suggested in my earlier post and go to A and apologise, being very humble.  Tell her that you were inappropriate and will take steps that this doesn't occur again.  Then if anyone says that their is ill-will between you two, simply tell them that no, there was a misunderstanding for which you apologised and are now moving on from.  Then ignore J's problems and see if they don't sort out over time, especially if you humble yourself to A and apologize.  I'm sure she'll spread the word, making it seem like she forced it out of you, but if it gets the office past that problem, then it is worth it.  I found that a little humble pie now and then doesn't hurt, and can really improve my image with co-workers.  It may work the same with you in this occurrence.

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

[psychodelic13]

All your suggestions have helped a lot; things seem much better now.
Thanks to everyone who replied!!!
This site and all you gals are great!!!

[raindance]

Once, when I was about seven or eight years old and complaining about someone who had offended me, the lady who took care of me said to me in her lovely Yorkshire accent, "Eh lass!  Everybody in t'world is queer but thee and me, an' even tha's a bit queer".  'Nuff said.  

I would buy some cakes for tea and share them round the office.  

Best wishes,

Raindance

[sobriquetnic]

Hi there

I had a similarish case a couple of weeks back.  To cut a long story short, I ended up getting riled and answering one of our managers back - this then resulted in him throwing a tantrum, slinging his stapler across the desk and using obscenities when I was out of earshot.  

The thing is that this guy is notorious for his bad behaviour, particularly towards females (great way to be in the travel industry!).  He has been reprimanded with regard to his temper several times over the years and we have lost countless members of staff who just could not cope with him anymore.

However, when my boss heard about our little disagreement, he simply said that I shouldn't have stooped to his level and that I needed to maintain a professional air at all times.  And as much as I felt a little hard done by because this guy had initiated the 'discussion', I realised that my boss was right.  It's just tough to do sometimes when you see others getting away with things and you want to stand up to them.

Hope things are going ok for you now.

All the best,
Nicola.