Feeling bullied at work

[susan1234]

I posted this issue, which is still ongoing, back in October 01. There is a coworker who continues to criticize my work abilities: she tells management that I am incompetetent and she is sabatoging my career in this department. Management just "loves" this person. I am constantly feeling belittled and put down no matter how hard I try. I am expected to be perfect. And I am trying so hard. Needless to say I am burning out.

Specifically, my manager (she has been my manager since 4/1) spoke to me the other day and said that I had a bad reputation. She listed several things: 1) my breaking down computer equipment, 2) my having a reputation of inappropriately displaying anger, and 3) my inability to organize my work so that the work gets done in a timely manner. I know that this information  is being communicated by the "bully."

1) Breaking down computer equipment: Everyone uses the computers. She accused me of messing around with files and that is why we ended up getting a new computer platform. This is an absolute ridiculous accusation because I use the computer to do my job. I have not "messed around" with files. A piece came loose in the printer after I attempted to clear out a jam. I put the piece back in. The next day the "bully" removed the piece and said as a result of her having removed the piece the printer was then working. Later that day I was accused of breaking a piece. I explained that many people were "fooling" with the printer in an attempt to clear up the paper jam. I was also trying to be helpful, not ruin equipment!

2) Anger.

a)  Back in August 01 I told a volunteer to be quiet because I was trying to concentrately in a tone of irritation. I admit I could have been a bit more diplomatic. I attempted to apologize and talk to this person but he refused any further discussion. He has gone around and told people that I told him to "shut up."

b) In December 01 I exploded at the bully inappropriately in front of a patient because of her disrespectful treatment. I had a discussion with the former manager about this.

These are both old events. None of these events have recurred


3) While  I am not a speed demon, my tasks get done.  

All  throughput  this time I have  been put down and insulted. And my concerns have been discounted.

I have an appt with my union tomorrow. They have already told me that the new manager has violated the contract since she is bringing up issues that came up before "her reign."

I have been and am trying so hard to be the good employee they want.

I need your support, advice, and encouragement.


Thank you.

[superninjaadmin]

Susan,

Sorry to see you're having a rough time at work.  I don't know of much advice to give except for this:

First and foremost, in order for you to be successful and happy, you must have the support and professional guidance from your immediate supervisor.   Your boss must not be taking sides with anyone, she should be guiding and managing her subordinates in a supportive way so they all work well together to meet the overall objectives of the department.  Giving preferential treatment and picking favorite employees is disruptive to the overall department.  

From what I read, your supervisor is not supporting you.  By making accusations and failing to give you "specific" examples of what you are doing wrong.  Instead, she is making vague statements about your bad reputation, breaking equipment, displaying anger and getting work done in a timely manner.  

If you want this job to work, you need to be the driver.  What I mean by this is for you to be active and proactive in making change.  Obviously your boss and the bully are being reactive, so you need to be proactive.  I suggest that you arrange a meeting with your supervisor.  Ask for SPECIFICS of where you have a bad repuation, broken equipment, displayed anger, did not meet deadlines or complete work.  Then, after you have that information, put the ball back in your supervisor's court by asking your boss to HELP you improve.  Ask your boss to help you develop a personal improvement plan (also known as a PIP to HR people).  Establish SPECIFIC (not vague) goals, timelines, behavioral changes, listing these goals as quantative (meaning measurable).  Then, at specific intervals (weekly) meet with your boss for an hour to discuss your goals, where you are succeeding and where you still need to improve.  

Be humble, take ownership and accountability for your past actions at work.  Tell your boss you are turning a new leaf and you need her help in order to succeed.  Don't badmouth or blame anyone else...remember that this is YOUR issue, not the bully's and not the boss's.  No blaming anybody but yourself.  Take this non-defensive approach to build up your foundation and go from there.

If you take this approach and drive your own improvement plan, communicating on a regular basis with your supervisor, you will not only show you have ambition to improve, but you will also begin to establish an opportunity with your boss to have free and open communication, which can only lead to good things.  

Think about it and start working on your own PIP.  Ask your boss to collaborate with you on your PIP.  I think things will work out.  Talking, communicating builds good relationships.  

Good luck and keep in touch because I would love to hear how things are going (and improving)!!  

SNA in AK where spring is slow to come this year!

[Jackie G]

Susan

I totally agree with SNA when she says you should be getting the support and encouragement of your immediate manager.  If she has only been your manager since the start of April (did I read that right, you reverse dates in the US!) it's only the 15th and she can't possibly have such a bad opinion of you - personally - already unless you really are that awful, and I can't think that you are or you wouldn't be posting this AND you'd probably be thinking about finding another job.

I'm not sure I would want to continue in a position where my life was being made hell with no support from management.  After all , we do spend quite a lot of our lives (not to mention days!) at work and for it to be totally crap is a bad way to spend time - after all, life's too short remember!

Hopefully your union appointment will be able to help you move this thing forward.  I have had no personal experience of anything like this so am unable to offer anything much in the way of constructive help but we're always here to listen and let you 'vent' a little.

Good luck, and let us know how things progress.

Jackie
www.iqps.org
DeskDemon Forum Board Staff

[patphi]

Susan,

I can only give you morale support although I do agree with both the previous answers.  Both have very good and sound advice in them.  However, you must be ready to look for another position.

Unfortunately (and fortunately) I was in a similar situtation a while back.  The situation had gotten so bad that I was driving home 4 out of 5 nights in tears all the way (I drive 1 hour each way everyday).  It was effecting my entire life both personal and professional.  Finally, when I had enough I began to look for other employment.  I had to make the decision that I might have to leave the company I had been with for 8 years due to the situation.  Luckily for me, I was able to secure another position with the company (at a lower grade); however, I was able to maintain my benefits and perks.  So for me it worked out.  A very wise man told me one time, "Sometimes you need to step back to go forward".

Please let us know that you have our support during this trying time.  Please let us know how it goes.

[bethalize]

Susan, I remember the issue of speed came up in one of your previous postings. Leaving aside the other issues, this is something that you have to be very careful with. It is not enough to say that everything gets done - it has to be done on time, and sometimes in advance of when it is needed. Letting projects run to the last minute is sometimes unavoidable, but on a day to day basis it shouldn't happen. You may feel that you give 40 hours of your time each week, but that means very little to an employer, who will expect a certain amount of tasks to be completed within that time. How would you feel if someone did less work than you but got paid the same? Perhaps one of your problems with this issue is that you don't think there is a problem.
I appreciate that this must be a difficult time for you and I sympathise. Do take a good look at yourself from another point of view though: losing your temper twice in such public situations is a bad mistake to have made. Know what you are, then hopefully you will rise through these troubled times.


Bethalize
Deskdemon Forum Board Staff

[raindance]

Dear Susan,

I agree with the others: you are responsible for your personal behaviour and you need to pay attention to that.  Displays of bad temper are never appropriate in the workplace, and are usually unhelpful and unproductive, but I guess you have already learned that little lesson.  Maybe your "short fuse" is an indication of burnout and you perhaps might like to think about taking a short break.  Even a long weekend can do wonders.  Perhaps you might find it helpful to go on an assertion training course: how to get what you want and when you want in the most appropriate manner.

As for the bullying, I strongly advise you to keep a diary.  I realize that when you are being bullied, you are often so stressed out that the last thing you want to do is to keep notes of what has occurred.  Even brief notes, however, kept in an inexpensive diary or excercise (entries signed and dated) will help enormously in any grievance procedure.

I wish you well and hope things work out.  Let us know how you get on.

Raindance