Message #11189

[deedeeb]

All I know is, I found myself melting down completely and begging not to be left alone with my newborn and an older child (then nearly 4) because I was such an emotional mess.  I put the crying baby in her crib and called a good friend who rushed over to just be with me and listen and assure me that I could be a mother.   I also remember going to the grocery store when my older daughter (now 24) was just a few weeks old--my first trip out of the house alone after her birth--and abandoning a full cart of groceries because I thought I was having a heart attack.  I since discovered my problem is panic attacks.  These may or may not have been PPD-related, but I know how very frightened I was and how real it all seemed (I thought the world was ending!).  Even though this was a long time ago, I feel compassion for that poor woman even though as a mother, I can't begin to comprehend what could drive her to doing what she allegedly did.  I still think her husband could have been a little more tuned in to her emotional state--being alone with so many young children has to be draining.