Which America Will We Be Now?

[goldenearring]

Here is a copy of an article I received through e-mail.  This article is a perfect example of what I believe this "Topical Climates" forum is all about and what it is for.  I don't agree with everything in it, but I'm certainly not going to attack Bill Moyers for having his viewpoints--some of which I think are good, some of which I think are not.  His ability to present his opinion, with support for why he feels that way, has given me something to think about, and to discuss with others.  I can also learn from Mr. Moyers by studying the way in which he supports his case and adapt it to my own communication needs/style.

The writing is on the wall, and it has been for a long time.  If you want more responsibility and, ultimately, more fulfillment and, yes, cold hard cash, for coming to work each day, communication skills are CRITICAL.  And, I'm not just talking about the ability to speak fluently, with good grammar, and the like.  I'm talking about  critical thinking, reasonable risk-taking, managing conflict without disrupting the flow of business, bridging cultural differences, and so forth.  Really expanding your power and your influence as an administrative-type and, more importantly, as one who sucks air each day on this planet.

The technical skills that my job requires change themselves or require serious updating about once a year, and I am now scrambling to do that.  It will only take about 60-80 hours to do that, though.  The only thing, in all of my 15+ years of administrative work, that has not changed, is the increasingly steeper slope regarding communication skills and the need to improve them.  It constantly demands my attention and increasing amounts of time.  It must be the same for most of you.  I don't think I could ever read or learn too much about it, and I use any available medium in which to do so.  The people with whom I work, and the company which employs me, depend on me and expect me, to sharpen those skills.  The same is true for you.  The gap between the "haves" and the "have nots" in the administrative, or any field of work, is being largely defined by communication skills.  I will NOT be on the wrong side of that gap when the leap is too far to make and those who could have helped me make it are long gone, involved in other more lucrative activities.

So, with that soapbox speech under my belt, I encourage you to read the following Bill Moyers article when you have some time.  Think about it, align it with your current views, and then make a statement, online, of what you think, regardless of how you think others may take it or what they might think about your skill in presenting it.  That, for the most part, is their problem, not yours.  If we can't discuss issues, fairly anonymously, with our peers, here, how on earth can we expect to hold up under the scrutiny of a CEO, director, board member, or shareholder?  I guarantee that there's not usually much tolerance for error or not-so-skilled presentation in those cases, like there could be here.

I'm taking a 2-week hiatus from this deskdemon stuff to focus on some other concerns.  Part of the reason for this, too, I must admit, is that after feeling like I've been dogged by a couple of posters (looks like 10, due to the constant screen name changes, but it is really just a dissatisfied 1-3), for over a year, for having the "audacity" to really say just what's on my mind, I can't help but wonder, "Why bother with a place like this?"  I thought there could be tremendous benefit for everyone, if some concerted effort was put forth, to lay things out on the table, discuss them, and gather info on other resources where we could go for more info, if wanted.  But, if it never happens, it certainly wouldn't be the first time in the world that a truly great opportunity has been missed or simply ignored.

To me it is such a total waste of time, albeit entertaining, to make conga lines, etc.  Repetitive conga e-dancers (not picking on you, just using first example that comes to mind)  indicate to me, at least, that they are either feeling trapped in a job situation that they are not enjoying or they have no real focus in life (no serious goals) right now.  (Oooh, duck, GE.  You just said something else that may be controversial.)  I realize it also could be attributed to personality type, age, and "environmental influence."  Certainly, there is a time for conga-lines, and other playfulness, but is that all you want for your time invested here?   If boards like deskdemon put up different categories for discussion, my thoughts are that it is to round out the thinking that there is more to our lives than time spent behind a desk.  I'm the type who needs to take advantage of those opportunities, and I realize that I could easily be in the wrong place!  

So, enjoy your two GE-free weeks.  When I check back in December, we'll see what's become of this forum, and if there has been much activity that can be learned from/used to expand one's worldview.  Above ALL things, I want you to know that this is not at all a desperate attempt to ask you to send me cards and letters to stay or to reconsider or to tell me that you really love me.  I don't need that.  Although I'd be lying to say I don't enjoy that as much as any other fellow human being, that is not the point of this at all.  I get and give plenty of those warm fuzzies with the people in my "real, live" world, just like you do.  And, for the record, the only person I'm "mad" at is me for wanting more out of a medium, filled with screen names who either may not have it to offer, or simply aren't interested in developing that area like I am.  The point is, well, you figure it out.  Ciao!  [picks up e-suitcase and walks to e-train station, waves an e-goodbye/see you after the cyber break]  Wishing those of you who celebrate it, a Happy Thanksgiving, I remain - GE, the intense one, now chillin'.

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Post edited for violation of copyright terms of TOS, please contact Administrator for further information

Edited by dedlered on 19/11/01 08:40 PM.

[bethalize]

Well, GE has obviously thought long and hard about her post. Enjoy your weeks off, GE.

There are many places on the Internet to discuss serious issues, including here and there are many people who like to discuss them, including a lot of us here. We don't necessarily want to discuss them right here and right now with our admin peers. That doesn't mean we're wasting our time. We invest in our relationships in all sorts of way, some which can be quanitified and others which cannot. We just don't feel the need to put all of our lives in one place. Carry on, my admin peers, for as long as you want to.

Personally, I see these boards as a place to come to be with people who understand my life as an admin - and that is only one facet of my life. I don't see making a conga line as a waste of time: I see it as a way to connect with my friends here and to bring a little bit of fun into my day. God knows I spend enough of my time working. We are human beings: our need for something other than drudgery is what makes us human.

I would also like to point out that although we have a right to an opinion, we also have a responsiblity in how we project it. Just because you have an opinion, doesn't mean that I won't find it hurtful and offensive. I think that we need to remember that these are boards for admins: the thing that brings us all together is our profession. We know very little about each other apart from that we have that in common. The better part of valour is discretion and that you need to know when to pick the right place and the right time.  Possibly here and now is not the right time, so I hope you find what you are looking for elsewhere.

Enjoy the hols.

Bethalize
Deskdemon Forum Board Staff

[superninjaadmin]

My observation on Goldenearring's comment above is that this web site was recently merged and is currently in its growing stage...the "getting-to-know-you" acquaintance stage.  I think Deskdemon has just become a more global web site where many different people from different types of jobs and different countries and cultures are merging together.  That said, everyone has different concerns and different ways of thinking about their roles and jobs as an admistrative assistant or secretary.  It's a big world out there.  Some admins are empowered by their employers to excel, some are not.  Some are happy talking about diverse issues and some are not.  Some are shy and not quite sure how to express themselves right now.  All I know is that there are many dynamics and different cultures on this board and I don't want to assume or expect anything specific from anybody right now.  It's a delicate time here on this web site and on its bulletin boards right now and my interest here now is to just meet and develop the relationships and friendships on this web site.  In time, people who access this site may feel more comfortable opening up and sharing their thoughts.  I'm patient.  

Hello everyone!  I live in Alaska and it's very nice to meet you.  I look forward to sharing jokes, smiles, laughs, stories about work and home, simple victories, big accomplishments and ideas to help make us better at our jobs and better as human beings in general.  

This coming week for me is very exciting.  My sister is having her first baby on Tuesday (she's over due and getting induced), and I'm flying down to see her and my new neice the day she is born.  Then, my husband and I are celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary on Wednesday and eating turkey dinner with his parents on Thursday.  So, I have lots of fun (and food) to look forward to this coming week!!!

God bless you all during this holiday season.  

[kittie]

Oh, GE, don't be mean!

Yes - there is a place for serious discussion and debate, but there's also a time and place for conga - ing on a Friday, and humour and jokes!

We're not all trapped in jobs we hate - I love mine and the people I work with and I do have serious goals in life - ( in fact one of them is to be happy and make the most of each day God gives me).  But it's great to be able to share good feelings and have a giggle with people from US and UK, as well as debate subjects of the day and hear differences of opinion.

If I've learnt nothing else from the events of the last few months, it's to take each day as it comes and enjoy every last drop of each day.  If that means sharing a conga on a Friday - and I'm always happy on Fridays cos I get to all day spend Saturday and Sunday with my fantastic husband - well so be it.

Anyway, look after yourself while you're away and hope to see you again in the future.

[nolalady]

Kittie/Beth - Well said, I agree totally.

SNA - Congrats on the new addition to the family.  Enjoy!!!

nolalady

[goldenearring]

Returns, refreshed.  I read your post, Liz, and I understand your point of view re what we post and when.  My frustrations with boards like these have been, like I think I indicated, somewhat largely self-induced.  When I consider that 10 minutes (e.g. "coffee/message board" break) X 5 days X 52 weeks = about a full workweek of time spent, and not necessarily accomplishing anything I really WANT to be doing, versus a creative avoidance technique.  The kind of want to things that take effort, not the want to things that are easier to do.  And, I did use the conga lines as an example because I detest all the little whirling twirling things.  They are clutter at its finest.  (Although, I must say that I would have to vote for aberdeensecretaries, that wonderful, perky woman whose name escapes me now as the Grand Champion of all things Conga.  That was the mother of all conga lines, if I've ever seen one.)   They certainly weren't meant to be singled out as stupid or anything.  There are lots of ways we all waste our time, and I have been a prime example.  Unfortunately, I do think that when a place is labeled as this particular forum is, that it is a no-holds barred.  If something bugs somebody, they have the option to reply in a level headed way, go haywire, or ignore it.  But, before I spend anymore time on this, I have found "what I've been looking for," and that is the me I lost about a year+ ago when I started spending waaaaaay too much time doing stuff like I'm doing here right now:  e-thinking, hoping that someone with as much levelheaded feistiness as I've seen you display would be there.  The old "iron" sharpens "iron" thing, you know.

Anyway, in all the time I've saved during the last two weeks I have given myself a lifestyle makeover and perused over 20 books some of which merit further study regarding my professional life and a personal goal of public speaking.  I've joined Toastmasters and given my first speech, and am schedule for my second.  I've also worked out for 8 of the last 10 days, eaten better, and lost 10 pounds.  Got me so danged excited that I signed up with a personal trainer who will help me focus on improving.  Finally got the major life clue that it takes nutrition, cardio- AND strength-training to manage one's weight the way I want it managed.  Anyway, the long and short of it, is I needed a MAJOR breather, because I have been taking a little bit of my frustration out online.  But apologize for daring to say what's on my mind?  Never!  I haven't personally attacked anyone to my knowledge.  I don't lie down and play dead, though, when someone throws an uncalled for barb at me.  I don't think anyone should.  Although I am committed to my beliefs, I would never cram them down anyone's throat as "the only way," and I always welcome a fresh viewpoint on things.  God knows none of us has the writing ability to make everybody see what we mean, deep down, on line.  When I read your reply above quickly last week when I checked in for 5 minutes, I took it completely different than I take it today.  Perhaps it is the moon or the barometric pressure.  We may never know.

Moving right along, I see that, for one, the Princess Diana post has taken on the kind of depth I hoped it would, with some very interesting twists.  I think it's a shame to be in the admin field (or any field) and not take very seriously the art of learning to communicate with others by spewing forth ideas and letting the opinions and creative juices fly.

Anyway, things seem to be going very well here, and I'm happy for all you DD forum people.  You, especially, Andrea.  You'll have to find other posters to second-guess about now, though, dear staffers, in that Centre du Monde, which seems to have fallen into a hole in "du Monde," because it is no longer possible to see how much business takes place in it after certain postings . . .

OK, my grammar in here sucks, and my thoughts may not flow as you like, to those more discerning/critical readers, but I am not taking time to edit my thoughts today as I usually like to.  I am off to the gym.  I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, whether you celebrate it or not, whether you believe in reindeer or not, and regardless of whether you think ham is an appropriate Christmas dinner!    See you around, sometime, although probably not real soon - Your Infamous GE, off making a new life.  Hello, my name is GE, and I am a recovering message boardsaholic.  

[superninjaadmin]

I just read your post. Glad to see you've found some other hobbies and interests away from the boards.  I, personally, go in cycles with my time spent the Internet and various bulletin boards - sometimes many weeks or months at a time going without it.  It's a refreshing change for me to get away from it all.  Most of the time, I lurk and not post messages.  That keeps me from being "addicted" to it.  

Any way, I wish you happiness in the future.  Take care of yourself and keep in touch now and then.  

[goldenearring]

superninjaadminAlaskanlady:  I don't know how I had missed your post below Liz's.  Must have been in too big of a hurry.  I appreciate your thoughts.  They were very well laid out.  While I respect them, of course, that doesn't necessarily mean I'll abide ever totally by them.  It's just too much fun to let people know what and who they're dealing with right from the get-go!    I popped back in to add one thing to my message to Liz.

kittie:  I have only been intentionally mean to one person in my entire online life, and that was a combination of my wanting retribution for a suffered wrong, my misplaced pride, and my stupidity of playing a no-win game with someone who thrived on them.  If you want to make conga lines, you go right ahead.  BUT, if you find yourself doing it every Friday and commenting about what a relief it is that it is the weekend, I want you to stop and take a serious look about why.  My comments in that case were a generalization, and I used the one thing that is most obvious and handy regarding time management, in my humble opinion.

Liz: while I was driving back from the gym, it occurred (sp?) to me the other way that I read your posting, and why it initially made me a little "tinkled."  And, you know me, I just have to let you know about it.  Although you have a very eloquent and diplomatic way of phrasing things, I felt as though you were trying to steer me into what you deem as appropriate behavior in a forum that is meant, IMHO, to encourage the discussion of diverse opinions.  I grew up in a house where I was *strongly* encouraged to be quiet, and where *anything* even remotely relating to Christianity and (yikes! can I say this online) "Jesus" was laughed right out the door by one member of the family, who has now reformed to a more moderate stance, I might add.  I remember when I was very young, watching Oral Roberts announce on national tv that God had told him to build a prayer tower and would give him $5 million to do it.  Granted, that was an outrageous thing to say on national t.v., but even at that young age, I admired his guts and I recognized his faith even though I didn't know the word for it at that time.  While one of my family members laughed for days and mocked Oral Roberts' bold statement, I pondered it and  thought that if God was going to give him $5 million to do something he wanted to do, well then surely this God must surely be worth getting to know a little better.  Anyway . . .

This entire DeskDemon adventure, in my understanding, is a place where folks of the admin persuasion can gather and share thoughts.  I don't know whether my opinions in this particular post hurt you, specifically, or not, or whether you were just using that for effect.  They were not meant to hurt anyone; they were what was on my mind.  I requested open discussion and other opinions.   I was excited about the prospect of learning other people's opinions and things both deep and shallow, from all over the world.  I'm not excited anymore.  I'm inspired to do something different now.

I felt as though you were gently encouraging me into a sort of Groupthink, and I never support that, in any way, shape, or form.  There's a quote by someone somewhere, about "people with small minds talk about other people, and people with average minds talk about things, and people with great minds talk about ideas."  As women, and in the administrative profession *in general*, we have not been encouraged to talk openly about ideas, especially in my Baby Boomer generation.  In fact, I could probably rattle off a list of 50 names of administrative people who are scared pea green even to introduce themselves, let alone dare to speak up when they have an idea.  Trying to keep this as short as possible, but it seems that if we all stick to the safe topics, we're really not accomplishing much of anything in terms of going ahead.  Guys have no problem rattling off their thoughts, and they generally don't knock each other for doing it, unless the idea totally off the wall and, in my experience, even that usually rates a raised eyebrow and a "huh?"  When fellow women encourage me to be a good little girl, I strongly resist!!!   I am through with being a "good little girl," and although some may view me as a "bad little girl," I can assure each and everyone of you that I have nothing but your best interests at heart.  Nothing would thrill me more than for each person on here to find their own voice - - it's in there somewhere - - and to dare to speak up.  I have been so inspired by what's resulted here in this particular posting and others that I am in the works launching my own company, a type of search and rescue for admins who are admins because it's never occurred to them that they could be anything else and as an educator for admins who want to remain admins but can't figure out how to get ahead.  When I sit back and consider a lot of friends I have who are admins because they didn't think they could be anything else, even though many of them are degreed in things such as psychology, marketing, and even business, it makes me want to cry.  They are bright, talented, and highly skilled, and most of them aren't even making $35,000 a year!  Some don't even break $30k, and that is a travesty.  The times are a changing, as most of us have noticed, and instead of standing and watching as they do, wondering why it's happening to me, I intend to get out there, make things the way I want them to be (with God's amazing help), and take a heckuva lotta people with me.  So, honestly, this is my last rant for quite some time, even though I will definitely be lurking in the shadows here and there, from time to time.  I have got to add, in closing, that I used to be a member of a certain US organization for admins, back when I was an exec asst, and they kept telling us, 7 years ago, how much things were going to improve for secretaries and administrative people.  Well, I just don't see it.  It improved for me, a lot, because I had a plan and I worked it like a dog.  But, never once, would I give myself total credit for my success.  A LOT of people helped me, and, above all, God blessed and approved it all, and that's the only reason it worked out the way it did.  Although there are some improvements for the female administrative masses, I see the same old 50 cents on the dollar kind of thing going on.  The pay may have gone up a little bit, but look at the skills that a lot of us who have been in the field for years have acquired.  They may be recognized, but now it is time for them to be rewarded!  And, if not in the admin field, well, then, somewhere else!  This situation bugs me a lot, and I'm going to do my little bit in the world to change it, even if I find only one other person in my life who will truly listen to what I have to say and change for the better because of it!  Good night and God bless.

[superninjaadmin]

Helping people to discover that they can be empowered is a wonderful thing.  However, THEY must know they have to eventually walk by themselves...no person, no company and no professional organization is going to do it all for them.  It takes a lot of guts and courage for them to step out on their own.  By encouraging them to take their solo step and by helping them to discover they have empowerment is the secret and the start to everyone's success and happiness.  

Listen to your soul and follow your heart and your dream.  Follow the goal that you mentioned in your last paragraph.  I think it's awesome that you are willing to stretch out, take the leap of faith and try to make a difference for someone in something that you believe.  You have your own little niche.  I know that if you follow your goal, you will find fulfillment and happiness and most of all success beyond anything that money could pay.  

I, myself, have that empowerment - I had it all along, but unfortunately, many of my past employers always told me "no" or held me back.  Fortunately now, for the past five years, I have worked for a wonderful employer and a boss that are very supportive in me and my goals of learning and developing my profession.  I don't see any stop signs ahead for me, and that alone makes my future very exciting!!!  

Glad to see you are doing the same.  Best wishes.  :-)

[goldenearring]

You are a doll, superninja.  I appreciate your kind words.  You're right about we have to do the work ourselves.  Nobody was there to help me out of bed this a.m. at 3:45 to dress me and drive me to the gym!  LOL  I don't have all the details of my platform, of course, but I know as I go out and round up those speaking engagements, one-by-one, things will just fall into place.  Somehow, they always do!  I'm glad that you are in that place, too.