Would you see this as an ultimatum?

[jadegrniiz]

My oldest daughter started middle school 4 weeks ago, and to say the least is having some major problems coping. My husband and I have discussed it, and we have agreed that I can either get a new job with reduced hours, or just stay at home all together and work on my side business (Home Party Sales).

I'm not quite ready to take a flying leap into Stay-at-home motherhood, and would like to work something just part time.

My husband is off work on Mon and Tues, so my only deal is that I'd like to flex my hours during the week so that I am only working until 3pm Wed - Fri. I don't even have issues coming in early to maintain 40 hours.... but I *need* to be home for my DD, help her with her homework and get her life organized to cope with all this "stuff" relating to her graduation to middle school.

So, I'd like to tell my boss that I need to flex my schedule. But, if she says no I am fully prepared to quit. But, I don't know exactly how to say that without coming across as a dictator. Keep in mind my boss and I have a fairly good relationship, although it's never fully recovered from that time she accused me of lying to her.

Any thoughts?

Jadegrniiz
Peer Moderator

[Jackie G]

Jade

Sorry to hear of the problems, hope they work out.

Re the job:  firstly, only you know how flexible your schedule at work could be.  You said you have a good relationship with your boss so I would lay as much of it as you feel comfortable telling her on the line and asking if there is any way you could maximise the flexibility in your schedule.  Find a way to say (without saying it, and thereby issing an ultimatum) that you are prepared to find something else (ie leave) if there is no leeway here, and see what she says.

Hope you reach a good compromise for all concerned.

Jackie
www.secretarialsummit.com
Peer Moderator

[patphi]

Sorry to hear about the issues your daughter is having with middle school.  I had six children and I know the transition can be difficult.

Now on to the job related issues.  First does your company recognize flex-time anywhere in the organization.  If so, you can use this as your platform.  If not, then you need to get your bosses cooperation which means be very careful in what you say and how you say it to not offer an ultimatum.  Does your boss have any children?  Try explaining to her as much as you are comfortable saying.  And ask - I repeat ASK - for the consideration of flex-time.  Tell her that you are willing to work longer hours on Monday and Tuesday in order to fulfill the 40 hour requirement.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Pat in Orlando

[jadegrniiz]

Well, the good news is that I had "put the bug in her ear" during my evaluation back in July. At the time, she seemed ok with it on HER level, but was going to check with HR and Administration to make sure it's ok. (Only, it's never been addresses since, so I don't know if it was declined or not).

No, my boss doesn't have kids, she's not married and she never will be (she's got a same sex significant other). So, she'll never truly "get it" with kids, although I've never really had a problem with her understanding things I need to do as a parent.

No one in the organization that is full time has an officially flexed schedule, although generally there are some who come in early and leave early without notice or issue.

However, one concern is that other staff members might somehow be offended that the organization tends to bend over backwards to accomodate me (case in point: I was permitted to bring my newborn baby to the office with me every day for 3 months after she was born. No one before, and no one ever again will have that priviledge, and some employees with babies the same age as mine got a little miffed that they were not permitted the same opportunity).

My boss is gone today and tomorrow, so I'll talk to her on Monday and see what she thinks can be worked out. Thanks!

Jadegrniiz
Peer Moderator

[jadegrniiz]

I have a coworker friend to whom I am particulary close. She has a daughter my age, and we've met on many occasions and get along very well. Her daughter does the same thing that my boss does - Non-profit fund development.

The daughter just took a new job, and she will be needing to bring on a coordinator (my job) and she happened to think of me immediately. So my coworker pulled me aside in the break room this morning to ask me if I would be interested.

This job is working for a child development center, doing the job I do now (only less donation acknowledgement and more along the lines of what I am trained to do). It's 15 minutes from home (instead of 45 minutes currently)  and, (here's the best part) it's based on the school calendar. This means that the day ends at 3:30,  and would have off on Christmas, Spring Break and Summer (plus all the other school holidays).  So, in essence - this job could very seriously work for me, because my work wouldn't interfere with my ability to "be there" for my middle schooler.

I told my coworker that I would LOVE to talk to her daughter about it - so hopefully I'll know more this weekend!

So - I'm going to put my flextime request on temporary hold. I'm praying for good things to come... I have a great feeling about this!

Jadegrniiz
Peer Moderator

[donnap99]

Sounds WONDERFUL!  I hope it's all as good as it appears to be, and wish you the best!  

DonnaP99

[blufire21]

Sending good vibes your way.  Hope all works out.


Ellen in TX

[countrigal]

sending good vibes your way too.

But I would caution you not to put the flex-time talk on hold.  You don't know how long this could linger before you hear anything real about this other job, and in the meantime, you might have been able to work flex-time and been there a bit sooner for your daughter.  And if you do have good communications with your boss, definitely explain what you can and let her know that if it is absolutely not possible for you to go to flex-time, then you are willing to step aside in your position and let someone else fulfill it while you take over full-time mommy-hood.  Put right, it is not an ultimatum but an acknowledgement to bossie that you know it might not be possible, for whatever reason, and that you're considering leaving if it won't work out.  It's just a way of ensuring she has all the facts before going to HR and whomever to see about approval for flex-time.  It might be more persuasive to her or someone else if they know you're willing to leave if you have to, and that you're not just asking for the flex-time to be asking.  A measure of your commitment, if you would.

But holding out happy thoughts and good vibes on the other job...

CountriGal
Peer Moderator