Dealing with Setbacks..

[jadegrniiz]

I'm sure quite a few people here have lived through financial setbacks...   how'd you get through it?



When my hubby was forced to transfer 100 miles away this past April, it came with a $10K/yr paycut. $7k was salary, $3k was annual bonus totals (went directly to savings)...  so the $7k is really all we used in the budget.



I was 5 months pregnant at the time, and happened to trip into my dream job after spending 3 months unemployed...  only it, too, came with a $8500/yr paycut. I picked up a second gig, selling Discovery Toys in hopes of making extra cash, but it's not taking off as fast as I had hoped.



Now, we have this baby due in 7-8 weeks, and have yet to be able to stretch our dollar to make ends meet. Our savings was spent paying bills those 3 months I was out of work, and know I won't be paid for 6 of my 8 week maternity leave.



We've cut our cable down to bare minimums... thermostat is constantly 78 degrees... lights off every chance we get... I use coupons at the grocery store and don't indulge on ANYTHING anymore. It's getting us by for now, but what about in December, when I'm just getting back to work... Christmas season.... and an added $800 in monthly baby bills?



What have you guys done in the past to make ends meet?

[fireproof]

Oh, I am so sorry, I know how hard it can be.



I got everything for baby at garage sales (and don't be shy about letting everyone know that you welcome hand-me-downs.  (Hint:  babies need a whole new wardrobe every six months - get some boxes, lable them for sizes 6, 12, 18 and 24 months, and stash away your "finds."  I'll never forget how panicked I was when I realized my first baby had suddenly outgrown EVERYTHING she owned).



And, if I might be a little delicate here, breastfeeding is free, and very much better for baby than formula.  I found daycare near my work, and visited during my lunch hour; I also purchased a pump (about $100 - but if you have a la leche league branch in your area, they might be able to help you rent, or get a clean used one), and I pumped and froze extra milk in bottle liner bags, so my girls never went hungry.  You might have to ask your boss to be somewhat accomodating (you'll need a private area for about 15-20 minutes, preferably with a sink so you can wash the equipment; and you'll need access to a refrigerator - and a brown paper bag to "hide" the packages).  Breastfeeding IS ackward and embarassing at first, but I discovered that it was soooo much easier (once we got the hang of it), than having to prepare bottles when baby was hungry (the middle of the night - forget about it - I just plugged the kid in and we both went back to sleep).  And it was a tad uncomfortable letting my boss know that it was IMPERATIVE that I take a short break in the morning to "take care of business," but this was my BABY I was accomodating - they understood.



Also, if you are really in dire straights, you might check with social services about WIC suppliments, or child care assistance.







 

[fireproof]

By the way - I am the queen of cheap, so I am going to be adding more thoughts as they come to me......

[mlm668]

Hang in there.  I know just how you feel.  I'm a single parent with one income and it never seems to stretch far enough.  My ex decided to quit his job a few months back and I lot my CS for a month.  Thought it would get better when he started working again, but this boss isn't regular is mailing the withheld support.  Never can be sure when its going to come in anymore.  



One or two things I try to do are to buy no-name items when I shop.  I tend to buy all my groceries except meats at Wal-mart and I'll get their brand of certain items like coffee and bread.  Their bread at less than 75 cent a loaf last longer than the name brand at $1.39/loaf.  I buy bulk no-name toilet paper at Sam's Club when I go do the office shopping.  With 3 females in one house you can imagine how fast that goes, so buying bulk helps there.  Bulk paper towels too.  Since I only use them as napkins they go far.  A warm soapy rag is used to wipe things down.  



Let me see.......do you buy cleaners to clean off your counters and such?  If so, stop.  A sink of hot soapy water works just as good and that drop of dish detergent is a lot cheaper than several sprays of a cleaner.  And if you need to disinfect, use bleach & hot water.  That way you only need to buy one type of cleaner for your bathroom.



Check the web for Martha Stewart type sites.  They have great tips for how to make your own cleaners and such with stuff like vinegar that you can buy for next to nothing.  I haven't tried anything like that yet.  Just don't have the time to mix and experiment so I just run a sink of soapy water when I need to clean anything in the kitchen.



And remember, there are always oodles o' noodles...........our standby when a bill has to come before groceries.  Fortunately the kids like them, so they are great for lunch.  In fact, any kind of pasta is cheaper than other foods.



In the end they, you find you have to cut out more than you want.  But just remember, you can always get them back one day.  The luxuries aren't as important and we tend to think.  I'm on the verge of cancelling my satellite service.  Trying to find other ways to pay for it since I bought and subscribed to it so my kids could have movies on icky days.  





Hang in there.  Things tend to get worse before they get better.  The drop in income will take some time to adjust to, but you can do it.  Its not the end of the world, just a set back.  

[jadegrniiz]

The advice so far is all good....   but I'll add this..



Our problems don't seem to be groceries and such... our problems are rent, car payments, car insurance payments (since I had that accident last month, our payment jumped from $80/mo to $150) medical bills and credit cards. An extra $3 tacked onto my grocery bill so I can buy my Clorox Wipes isn't going to add but a drop in the bucket. Sure, *collectively* it'll save me $75/year...  but that isn't going to pay for anything. We need our vehicles... only one is brand new, and to trade it for something cheaper will end us up with the same payment, just higher maintance costs. We are stuck in a lease until May 1st, and to break it to live somewhere cheaper will cost us our $1500 security deposit.



I've stopped getting my hair cut and colored (thank goodness for long hair... no real style is needed, and if I need an occasional trim at some walk in place.. big whoop. I soaked off my acrylic nails, and am praying my own nails grow healthy in hopes of maintaining a professional appearance. I use Dryel for my dryclean clothes... and started wearing my glasses more so that I can save my disposable contacts for "important" occasions.



I do plan to breastfeed, but I can't *count* on that to work out in the long run. With my last child, unfortunate problems came up and breastfeeding had to stop for the sake of my health at 4 weeks. Doc says I can try again, but not to get discouraged if once again I run into problems.



And not to offend... but garage sale clothing makes me weak stomached. I don't do used clothes. But, one of the grandmas works at a department store, and gets SUPER cheap deals and discounts... the other grandmas know our situation and have pledged to send clothing on a regular basis. My mother is getting a crib and changing table/dresser for my shower gift, and my sister is going to decorate the nursery.



Honestly, I have spent the past few days pondering my job. Recently, a particular job class was awarded $1/hr raises, seperate from annual increases. It brought about a big controversy, since this class appears to be the ONLY class in the organization being awarded raises beyond the piddley annual raise (Apparently, they had the same extra $1 LAST year as well). I find myself wondering if I'll *ever* make a decent wage at this job, and is it worth it to SPEND 75% of my wages just to be able to work? Is the 25% I have left worth the hassles of working?



I've checked into WIC and such. We make too much money. (Ironic as it is). We don't qualify for any type of assistance what so ever....  and if we did, we'd have to sell what little bit of assets we DO have to abide by the income/asset restrictions. Even if I quit my job and stayed home, Hubby alone makes too much. (How do they figure a family of 4 is considered above poverty if they have income above $33k?)



I've thought about quitting work, staying home and opening my own daycare. My work costs would be nil... and I'd have an extra income from the other children. I'd have more time to put into my Discovery Toys business.....   eh, passing thoughts here mostly.



You know what's sad? If I were a single, un-educated, unemployed pregnant woman with 6 other kids, I'd be living it up in both public and private assistance programs.



 

[bethalize]

2 for a sack that would have lasted for months!

Buying in bulk obviously makes things a little bit cheaper. Pasta, rice, potatoes, even noodles are great for this, as are tins.

I changed the sort of meat that I bought. This is the one area that you have to be careful not to make false economies. Minced beef (is that ground beef?) is a big one. I used to buy the cheapest frozen bags and poor boiling water over it to get the fat out, but then I switched to a better quality as after I took the fat out there was nothing left!

Joints of meat like pork are good as you can roast them one day, put the slices in gravy and baked beans the next and mince up the rest for shepard's pie the day after.

Chicken is good to buy cheaply as you can't get lots of fat on a chicken. Turkey is even cheaper here as the birds are so much bigger. Pork chops are good as well. I didn't buy lean ham, but the packet, remoulded stuff.

I found I had to go shopping more often in order to stop letting things go to waste. But some shops will mark down fresh things at the end of the day.

Some fresh vegetables are really cheap -here it's onions, carrots, potatoes and other root veggies. I bought green veggies in season when they were cheap and plentiful and we lived off tinned tomatoes with every other dinner in the winter!

I used to have a routine: potatoes with a piece of meat and fresh veg; pasta with a white sauce (fat, flour, milk) and veggies; tomato risotto; chilli with rice; pasta with a red sauce (sometimes spag bog); roast meat with roast potatoes and parsnips and veg; a brunch of sausages, bacon, baked beans and scrambled eggs. If you'd like recipies and variations on, do message me (private message facility). I do about five variations of each cheap pasta dish! Dried herbs are excellent at making things taste good. I also switched to corn oil to cook in, rather than olive oil, and margerine instead of butter. Low fat spreads (but not the very low fat ones) go a lot further as well. Casseroles are also good, or crock pot cooking. Potatoes can be boiled, mashed, baked or microwaved.

Fizzy drinks were my biggest saving, along with fresh orange juice. I switched to cheaper versions, own brand lemonde for a fifth of the price, and cartons of juice instead of freshly squeezed. And there's always water, of course.

To add variety, I did vegetable stir frys, I made my own shortcust pastry for pies, made my own batter (I cannot believe that people use that Bisquick stuff when batter is just flour with milk and an egg anyway!!!) for yorkshire pudding and savoury and sweet pancakes. Stewed fruit like apples are great puddings. I bought granulated sugar instead of castor and gave it a whizz in the liquidiser (watch how much you give it or it will turn into icing sugar!). We also stopped buying alcohol, but I think you have different licensing laws over there, so it's probably taxed differently.

The thing I personally had to watch was spending to cheer myself up. Don't do it: it all adds up. We made it a point to do things to make life seem less drab: dinner by candlelight, pcinics on fine days, free exhibitions and so on. We cancelled the newspaper and read teletext and now, I suppose, the Internet.

Would changing your suppliers for gas, electricity and so on make any difference? What about your phone, your house insurance, you car insurance?

Do you have to pay water bills? Depending on your toilet, put a brick in the cistern so it uses less with each flush. Do check if this is the right type: you can't do this with the continental toilets, but the UK ones are notorious for being inefficient with water. Washing up by hand helps if you do it in a sensible way - glasses, cutlery, small crockery, dinner plates then cooking things.

Gosh, I have written a lot! Did I mention public libraries? Can you rent videos and CDs from there? Make a packed lunch and eat breakfast, and you won't nibble. Mend clothes yourself instead of throwing them away. Look after your work clothes by treating stains straight away or as soon as you get home - change out of them when you get home. You could even look at making your own clothes by hand - although I am terribly bad at it and decided that this was one saving that wasn't actually going to dave any money!

I wish you all the best.







 

[goldenearring]

I would set a new focus on the Discovery Toys, jade.  I know that with everything else you've got going on, it probably slides down to priority #33rd, but if you've done everything but find a way to increase your income, that sounds like the ticket.  Beg or borrow some of Ilene Meckley's materials and GET TO WORK!  You can do it!  "Both faith and fear will sail into your harbor; make sure that only faith drops anchor. " (author unknown)

[mlm668]

I understand how you feel about used clothes, but when you lose income, you have to lower your standards.  



A couple of questions.......why do you need a changing table?  A baby can be changed on any surface from bed to sofa to the floor.  All you need is a pad to place them on or even just a towel to keep the surface clean in case of a mess.  Changing tables serve no real purpose other than status in my book.  Instead of a chaning table, can't your mother stock you up on diapers instead?  



As far as the clothes - why do they have to come from a department store?  Yes, the discounts are nice, but with a baby or even a small child, at the rate they grow, you do just as well buying from a Wal-Mart or K-Mart.  With a department store you are paying for just brandnames, rarely is the quality any different.  Again, instead of paying more for "status" clothes, can the relative buy from some other lower priced store and then use the savings to stock you up on other "necessities"?



As for your car payment, have you talked to your bank?  When my child support stopped in May, that was one of the first things I did when I realized it was going to be a problem.  You can get extension or even refinance for a smaller payment.   And the bank would rather work with you than have you fall behind.   Are you driving a car or SUV?  If a cheaper car is going to get you better gas mileage, then give up the new car and find something better.  A lot of good used cars are certifed now - like Hondas.  



Instead of decorating the nursery, ask your sister(?) to stock it up instead.  Believe me, no baby is going to care if the walls are papered or not.  A nice mobile over the crib is all that is needed the first month or so.  When they start moving around, then worry about toys and such.  (I am giving these suggestions on the assumption this is your first child - if you have other children, you should have what you need - brand new isn't better.)



And as far as public assistance - it is not designed for middle class.  Yes, a family of 4 can survive off $33k.  I've supported a family of 3 on under $25 for the past 3 years.  We have a nice house (rented) and good clothes, but never top of the line.  I buy what lasts, not trends.  Although, if I had it to spend, I would be shopping for clothes all the time.  I pay $20 for cut and color once every 4-5 weeks (my one self-indulgence) and my stylist does good work.   I'm lucky to have her and that she doesn't charge prices like my uncle does in his shop. You just have to decide what you have to have and what you can live without.  And be honest.  You're on the right track with your nails.  Not a necessity and you can do them yourself.  Invest in an inexpensive buffer and buff them once a week - they'll grow faster and stay nice looking.  



And remember, a dollar saved on groceries is a dollar you can put in your gas tank each week.  Doesn't go far these days, but every one adds up...........you save $20 on groceries in a week and you have a tank of gas.  



I'm not trying to be critical if I sound that way.  Losing income is tough whether its just a few hundred a month or a large sum like yours.  I'm sure I could do better in cutting my expenses, but there are some things I'm just not willing to do without yet (like my cut and color  - I am so vain about my hair!!!     ).  



Good Luck and hang in there.

[jadegrniiz]

The changing table is a dresser, actually...  but has a small lip on the top that acts as a changer as well.



This is my second child... but my daugher is 9 yrs old. I had her as a teenager.  Sure, there are lots of things I can do without... and since I've had a baby before, I can identify what those things are. But this is also the last baby we are planning on having, and because of it... there are things I'd prefer NOT to do without. We chose a crib that converts to a toddler bed, daybed, then eventually a full-size bed. Since mom's buying, we figured we should at least get our money's worth out of it!



MLM, clothing is to me what your cut and color is to you. There are just some things I am not willing to do... and garage sale-ing for clothing is one of them. Something I learned from my first baby....  sure, the first 6 months clothing grows out quickly, but once they start crawling and moving around alot, I've found cheap clothing to fall apart and not withstand the washings. (Target, I've found, is the only exception) Department store clothing is better quality... you do in fact get what you pay for. And if my MIL can get infant clothing at her store for the same price I can get cheap clothes at Wal-mart... why not take the better over the cheap?



My new vehicle is a Pontiac Montana Mini-van. We got it "barely used" at an auction and only paid a fraction of the brand new sticker price. It was spotless and smoke-free inside (important, because of my daughter's asthma) and only had 10,000 miles. Since we just bought the vehicle in March (before the unexpected changes), I doubt we can refinance and get anything better than we already have. And because it is in fact so newly financed, trading it in for something smaller wouldn't result in anything but a loss. Changing insurance companies isn't a good idea for me either... the recent accident (my fault) caused a TON of damage... nearly $6k to my van, and I totalled the other vehicle. Switching probably wouldn't be beneficial either.



You know of Irene Meckley, GE? I hear she is a great speaker... and is coming to Orlando next week (?) to speak. I'd LOVE to go.... but, don't really have the cash to splurge there. But, I've emailed all my DT contacts in hopes of learning as much as I can from them. They say Fall is the best time for DT Consultants...   I'll keep my fingers crossed!  

[goldenearring]

Darlin' jade:

Do whatEVER it takes to get the cash to go and see Ilene Meckley.  (I see an opportunity here to set a goal to sell one or two toys / somebody has GOT to be shopping for Christmas or a birthday and would LOVE to do their shopping with YOU!!!!!!)  You will be glad you did, I promise.

[dedlered]

Jade, I will add my two cent here about clothing.  I love department store clothing but I am a scrooge when it comes to spending.  Here in Denver, we have some awesome thrift stores, and you won't believe what you can find.  I bought three outfits (brand name, polo, hillard and hansen) today, (tags still on them) for 30 bucks, and that included a brand new pair of mules. They have ton's of baby stuff as well.  Garage sales and I don't get along either but the thrift store is awesome.  



I would go ahead and call your car finance company, you may not have to refinance but they can at least let you skip a payment or two. The insurance as well, call around, I bet that you will find something less expensive for the two vehicles.



Utility wise, call the power company and see if they don't have a process called bill averaging, this way your payment is the same every month regardless of what you use.  

You may even want to post a notice at UCF or Valencia( or what ever college is closer to your home, you mentioned Orlando and I grew up there) to type term papers, to add some extra income.  



What about mass transit to your work, until the baby comes? 7 to 8 weeks of gas savings there, to put up for other things.



That's about all I have to offer right now, but I will think on this some more, you have done alot with cutting back on cable and your nails.  



 

[msmarieh]

Wow... Lots of good suggestions... The bottom line is that you take all the tips and sift out what to keep and what to toss. Some tips will be too extreme for you, but they might jumpstart you into considering how you could find a less extreme way of accomplishing the same ends.  I happen to be of the "no way in heck will I buy clothes (especially shoes!) at a garage sale". I know many people that do and they have gotten some fabulous bargains. I just can't do it - it's a personal cultural bias. I buy on clearance with extra percent off days. It works for me.  



There's tons of books out there on this subject. Do a search at the library on: thrift, frugal, cheapskate, etc.



ISBN: 0375752250  The Complete Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn (pronounced like Decision) - I have this book and refer to it regularly to help get me in the mindset to look at my situation through new eyes.



ISBN: 0967697409  Not Just Beans: 50 Years of Frugal Family Favorites by Tawra Jean Kellam - How to Cut your Food Budget without Depriving Your Family.



ISBN: 1895629683  How to Survive without a Salary: Learning How to Live the Conserver Lifestyle by Charles Long - Some extreme ideas, but lots of tips.



ISBN: 0793111188 Saving on a Shoestring: How to Cut Expenses, Reduce Debt, and Stash More Cash by Barbara O'Neill - Haven't read this one. Have no opinion.



Also, I subscribe to a newsletter for living frugally. This yahoo page lists several of them that I have gotten, including The Dollar Stretcher, Cheapskate Monthly, the Frugal Family Network and others. You may have to cut and paste the address, as it is pretty long.



dir.yahoo.com/Business_an...nt/Thrift/



Marie

[jadegrniiz]

Cheapskate...Tightwad....    sounds like terms I need to work on!



MsMarie... I'm a bit like you with the clothing. If it's used in any way, shape or form, it's just not for me. And I know there are all sorts of ways I can cut back on things without "lowering myself" (as some would say) to used clothing.



I checked out budget billing, and unfortunately, our utility companies here don't do that until your account is 1 year old. Since we just moved here in April, we don't yet qualify. Electric company would consider it, if we did a letter... but the rep quoted me a number that is almost as much as what we pay now...  at the hottest, most expensive time of the year. Come October when it gets cooler, (and the $$ will be even tighter) it'd be really hard to look at the actual bill of $80, and still have to pay $175 because we didn't want to pay the extra $5 during the summer months.



As for public transportation.....  it's too difficult to accomplish here (I'd do it if I could). Our county doesn't have one area transit that goes about the county, It's divided by city, and I work in one city, drive through cities 2 and 3 and work in city 4. I'd have to change busses probably 17 times just to get to my office. That's not even considering I have errands to run for work, and also hate to be without a vehicle should my daughter have an asthma attack at school or something.



I gotta go check out those websites... thanks, Marie!

[chris68]

Jade,



Just a couple of suggestions added to the already great ones here, coupon coupon coupon, if my dad can't get it that way, he won't most of the time unless it's on sale (and stocking up big time when it is on sale).  He's very good about that, I wish I was that good.  Sometimes they owe him money on prodcuts that he buys.



Also DH says that if you buy two products you can pretty much clean the whole house, clorox and ammonia will clean just about anything and a big bottle of Dawn.  They are becoming staples in this house.



I also use store brands because they are often cheaper and they taste better too for the most part, not everything I buy  mind you is store brand but when you consider at least our store offers what they call "shoppers club" discounts on top of being on sale, can't hurt to try them.



Otherwise, buy bulk at Sams club or whatever you have like your tp, papertowels, etc. etc. it's much much cheaper that way.



Also as far as the holidays are concerned I've made my own holiday gifts in the past when things were tight, ie, when we bought this house and a new car in the same year, ouch!  I made christmas ornaments and gave gift certificates to the local mall to go along with it, and they were a hit.  Most people I know now want to know how to make the ornaments I've made,  they are simple and don't take that much time to do.  You've got plenty of time between now and then to get a project going.



Hope that helps some.



Chris68

[jadegrniiz]

I wish I could just use bleach and water, or ammonia, vinegar and the likes to clean my house. Unfortunately, my daughter's asthma won't allow for strong odors that those products leave behind. Last time I used a fresh scent bleach to clean the toilet in her bathroom, and ended up rushing her to the ER with an out of control asthma attack. Doc said to go back to my clorox wipes and unscented products to clean my house with.... since we knew she wasn't irritated by them.



I have a twist to my original question.  Hubby and I were talking a bit, and we concluded that the only way we can make this better is to increase our incomes. Being short nearly $700 per month at our current income/expense ratio, we can't figure how using coupons, and living like tightwads is going to make things better.



My question is this: Knowing that my boss had to really go out on a limb to pay me what I make now, and that she acknowledges that I deserve more.....   should I let her know that at my current rate of pay, I can't afford to work there after the baby without a better paycheck? I wouldn't want it to sound like a "gimme a raise, wench, or I'll quit and stay home with my baby" threat....    but I wonder if that's what it'd sound like no matter HOW I word it. After my leave is up, things in my office are REALLY going to pick up. The annual fundaising campaign will have kicked off, and our annual event would be just around the corner. They'd really be in a bind if I left, because my skills are SO specific, and they'd never get someone in and trained in time to keep things up.



Now add to that..... this raise would have to be nearly $2.00/hr to make it of any value to me.



Thoughts on that?