Message #33501

[andream]

I disagree that this is intentional bullying by the employer, however I do see it as dependancy, which let's face it, is sometimes thought of as a good thing in our profession.  We LOVE it when our employers "need" us to make everything all right.  The problem is, we get to a point where "making everything all right"  keeps us up at midnight and we realize that bossie is dependant on us for all the wrong reasons.

I've thought about this one for a couple of days and decided how I would personally handle it, you can take it for what it's worth. ;p

I would talk to bossie and explain the realities of the situation, that you awoke at midnight worried about whether his reservations were intact, correct etc, and ask for his help in creating a system that gets the job done and keeps you BOTH in the loop.  Enlisting his help, does two things.

It gives you the chance to explain that you really do take your job seriously.  (heck Im the President and no one worries about MY Hotel reservations at midnight 'cept me!)

And more important it asks him to come up with a system that works for BOTH of you.

I totally understand the "my way or the highway" scenario, but asking bossie to help you out isn't (shouldn't imperil your job) in fact I'd take the subtle manipulation route on this one, (oh come on we ALL do it from time to time, let the dark side of the force work FOR you once in a while!).

Try this:

"Bossie, I know this hotel thing is a real mess sometimes, and  I also wake up at midnight worrying that you're in timbuktu without a hotel room.  Can you help me create a system that is more efficient than the one we're using now. What would work better for you with all the changes we're forced to make because you get such cruddy service from some of these hotel guys!

A bit simplistic, I know, but in the real world, when you need your job and have a boss who is not always attuned to how much extra work he's creating, it's positive to direct him to look at the problem no matter which way you get him there.

Should you be able to explain that you shouldn't have to do this? Yes, you should.

Do you feel that you can do that with this particular employer and keep that paycheck rolling in all nice and regular? No you don't.  

As much as I'd like to adivse you to come from an empowered perspective on this, I think you won't go there, because your boss doesn't communicte with you as a professional, he communicates with you as though you were his mommy, there to fix all the hurts with nary a thank you.

So using plan B, (the dark side of the force! Aka, The can you help me be more organized scenario) is not going to have a negative impact on your job.

What is the potential outcome of this? Maybe Bossie will help you out.  Feeling big about his ability to save you.  Yeah it's cheap.  No it's not what an empowered professional should do, BUT if you're unable to communicate with your employer at an professional level (because he won't allow it) it's better to communicate with him at SOME level to solve the problem which exists whether bossie is a bully or not!

At the very least, you'll have an exercise in getting your thoughts across, at the most, Bossie will see a problem and want to address it as a team.