How do you take criticism?

[susans]

How do you take criticism  Do you take it well?  Constructively and try to figure out how to make it better?  Do you get mad or angry?

Edit change, (remind me not to enter these before I wake up :-p!)

Edited by editorus on 29/04/08 06:10 PM.

[msmarieh]

Depends on who is criticizing me and why. If they are just saying something to be bitchy, I mostly ignore them. In general though, I think I actually take criticism very well. I'm certainly not blind to my faults and I tend to agree with a lot of what people say about me, even when it is negative.

Marie

[gee4]

If you mean professionally then it can only be a good thing for career progression and development - without it progression cannot be achieved nor improvements made.  

If you mean personally, well I have a saying for that, people who judge don't matter and people who matter don't judge.

[diamondlady]

Alot of it depends on how it is directed.  If it's in a yelling fashion and treating me like I don't know what I am doing when I know I am right, then I have a problem.  Or on the other hand you help a department because you are asked to and taken advantage of, then asked if you are helping. Two totally different kinds of critisizm.  I've had to step up and speak my mind on that last issue, and it's gotten a little better, not much.  I fear it will get worse before it gets any better.

However, in most cases, I try to take critisizm with an open mind.  Filter out all the bad stuff and then take the good notes and try to improve from there.

Diamondlady
Peer Moderator

[raindance]

No-one likes to be criticised; it can be hurtful.  Criticism, if it is constructive and tactfully delivered, can be helpful.  Sometimes, it's good to be stopped in one's tracks, and, in my experience, any person who is in the habit of reflecting on their  behaviour is willing to take on board helpful observations.

I have a colleague who becomes really angry, defensive and almost abusive, when challenged (especially by her manager and no matter how tactful the criticism).  That sort of unprofessional behaviour is probably the result of a character that hasn't been trained to be self-reflective and hasn't been corrected at the right time in their life (preferably early).  

[Katie G]

Forgive me for going out on a limb here, and risking a little TMI, but this does touch a nerve with me sometimes.......

I grew up in an unusually hyper-critical environment, so I'm always afraid that I'm doing something wrong.  If someone's yelling and getting personal and nasty in their criticism, I become 9 years old again...and that's not good.  Not that I break down in tears or start arguing and shifting blame, but rather that I have a tendency to take it very personally.

As a result, I make a special mental and emotional effort to separate criticism of my work from being criticism of my "self" and character.  (Growing up, they were one and the same.)  In a way, it's made me very disciplined in how I handle things.

If I am in a position where I need to offer criticism, I try very hard not to "harp" on things, but rather to state the problem, give an example, explain why the situation is not acceptable, and then move right on into "how can this be fixed." [\b]  Too often that last step is left off and it's the most important!

[raindance]

I quite agree, Didface.  

The word "criticism" can often be a sort of umbrella word and means different things to different people.  I think a lot of people would empathize with you, and have similar recollections of shouty relatives or teachers for whom one can never do anything that is right - whether one is playing, studying or simply standing still in the "wrong" way.  I have no time for bullies.

Being a good manager requires a good number of skills, including being a problem-solver.  It's a great thing when you can work with such a person, as they make life so much pleasanter.  

My heart sinks when I read some of the posts here in DeskDemon.  In some ways we have come such a long way in employment, particularly here in the United Kingdom; in other ways I think we are in the Dark Ages.  People, in my small opinion, often just don't know how to behave.  

[itsme_calista]

Didface, I can relate.  I find it difficult to take criticism, not from the point of view that I am being criticised but that I've somehow let myself down and I turn into a child! Once I've had time to think about it then I can process criticism and either accept it and makes suggested changes or return and challenge the criticism, at which point the child in me never appears.

For me it's just that initial stage, that I take personally.

[Jackie G]

I don't think anyone finds it easy to take criticism.  For me, I feel my face turning 'sulky' but I've no idea if I look like that!

I think handling criticism is something we could all learn to give and take better.  If it's well given, it's handled more easily although never well.  We all think we're perfect, after all!

Jackie, Peer Moderator
www.iqps.org

[geminigirl]

Gee - great saying & I heartily agree.

I think I take criticism okay - if it's constructive & due to me.  I don't often get criticised for work-related things - in fact, had my evaluation yesterday and it went extremely well, even if I do say so myself

But taking any criticism is hard but you have to just take it on the chin and try & resolve any problems.  Someone mentioned "sulky face" - I know just what you mean because I can sometimes feel my expression becoming very bland & noncommital - you don't want to show any emotion whether angry, sad, mad etc - & I think noncommital can end up looking slightly mutinous!

Criticism?  Nah, never receive any!!!

[happyclappy]

Not sure I go along with Gee on her saying although it is quite "catchy".   Sadly Bosses do matter and if they have the authority and responsibility to judge ...    

I used to work with someone who was hypercritical of people and it all stemmed from her childhood.  Work isn't a place for psychoanalysis and I really resented having to put up with her "issues".  Someone pointing out a mistake or whatever that needs correcting is one thing but nit-picking is really wearing and no way to behave to adults.

I take criticism well on the whole and mostly because I don't take it personally.  If it was meant personally then I would respond accordingly.  

[gee4]

Hi, if you read my posting again, you will see I referred that saying in relation to personal criticism eg. friends, family, those you expect not to judge.

In a professional capacity you will always be judged and measured and that can only be good in terms of progression and development.

[happyclappy]

I understood you perfectly the first time, but thank you for the clarification.  As for family and friends not judging, I guess I feel that a little "criticism" from time to time can be healthy as long as it is said in kindness and well meant.