judiann
Newbie
Posts: 8
|
 |
« on: August 29, 2001, 09:38:22 am » |
|
One of my office co-workers is getting married next month. She only sent invitations to a few of the staff. (Small office of only 1  She doesn't want to offend everyone, but didn't want everyone to feel obligated also. I told her to post an invitation on the bulletin board for all to see. That would cover her bases on the offense part and then cover her on who might want to come and/or send a gift. Are there any rules, ettiquette books, or opinions out there? Maybe Joan Lloyd could do an article on the invitations at work thing. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
countrigal
|
|
« Reply #1 on: August 29, 2001, 09:44:03 am » |
|
I've seen the general one invitation for the office thing a lot in some of the offices I've worked in. I found that it worked well. It lets folks who are interested plan a wedding shower for her (maybe over lunch or after work one day) if there's enough interest, and it allows those who feel comfortable with their relationship with her to join her on her special day. It keeps from ruffling feathers, but doesn't get pushy (here's your invitation, where's my gift) to someone she might not know that well. I say that it sounds like good advice you've given.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
donnap99
|
|
« Reply #2 on: August 29, 2001, 10:23:45 am » |
|
I dunno about this one. My immediate reaction to an invitation to an event with such magnitude being posted would be "Oh, this person doesn't really want us to come, but felt obligated to put this up since she knew we know about the event."
However, if I am off base on that, I'd like to know. It will be interesting to see what others think.
AND, if I am off base... Can I do this for my son's Bar Mitzvah? I had to wrestle with the same problem the past 2 years with my dds Bat Mitzvot.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
countrigal
|
|
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2001, 10:44:25 am » |
|
The reason I think it would work in this situation (like in ones I've seen) is because the office is small. 18 people... We had 24 in our office and weddings, baby showers, etc were all handled this way.
Another way of handling it, depending on the group - send an e-mail. Small enough group that she could send an e-mail letting everyone know that she has posted an invitation on the bullentin board... and that there's no obligation but if anyone was interested, they were welcome.
More than my fair $.02 worth, so I'll leave it at that.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
whitesatin
|
|
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2001, 10:53:30 am » |
|
From my experience, and the experience of those close to me, no matter what you do, someone will find fault with it. Do what you believe is best. Posting the invitation sounds fair to me.
I'm remembering the reason we eloped when I got married the second time.
WhiteSatin
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
laundryhater
|
|
« Reply #5 on: August 29, 2001, 11:05:35 am » |
|
The reason this works for the wedding is because the person getting married works in that office. She is probably just trying to save a little money on wedding invitations by posting one on the bulletin board. Weddings can get very expensive and it's nice to try to cut corners any way you can. It's perfectly acceptable. Although if it were me, I would post it in the break room rather than a bulletin board in the work area. Seems more casual (come if you wish, but don't feel obligated sorta way).
Unless your son works at your office, I don't think it would be considered apropriate to post a Bar Mitzfah invitation there. I think people might mistake this as your son wanting more gifts from people he doesn't even know all that well (if he even knows them at all).
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
workerbee
|
|
« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2001, 12:17:00 am » |
|
I'm sorry to disagree with so many others, but posting a wedding invitation on the bulletin board is tacky. If your friend is worried about the cost of the invitations, she can hand write the ones needed for the office.
Posting invites works better for more casual affairs, like picnics or pot-luck suppers.
Elaine
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
radaro
|
|
« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2001, 12:25:47 am » |
|
I've got to agree with WorkerBee. Yes, Whitesatin what ever you do someone will find fault but as laundryhater stated, this could be construed as a grab for gifts.
When I got married I worked in a small office (4 people in the immediate office but only 15 all together). My parents were paying for the wedding and I could only invite a small group of people.
I only invited my boss. I mailed the invitation directly to his house like every other invitee. If your co-workers even have the minimum of decorum they will not discuss the wedding at the office especially who was or was not invited.
I think this also applies to Bar/Bat mitzvahs, christenings, bris or other major life events.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
