Cubicle Cultures - The 7 Types Of Coworkers We've All Become


By John Rowles

Coronavirus

Folks love to visit other folks. Let's be true to the truth, we all do it. 99.9382983% of the time we stop by other people's cubes to say hi and catch up. The other .0617017% of the time is to talk business, actual work related stuff. Visitations aren't limited to physically going to someone else's cube, we can also turn around in our chairs to talk with others but I'm talking about the folks that come calling. Right outside your 3 walled patch of office real estate they stand and talk. And talk. And talk. Some more than others, some less. We humans are quite the social creatures.

To illustrate my point, here's a few examples that we all experience:

1. The Friends. Folks you don't mind stopping by to catch up on practically everything in their lives. Kids, family, good and bad stuff, extra cirriculars, ailments, appointments, car troubles, pets... everything. Generally good people and cool to be around. They usually know when to leave but a gentle reminder that you have work to do gets them moving along.

2. The Leaners. Folks that stop by and lean on one of your walls to talk. They veer in as if they're looking for contraband. Give them a flashlight and a badge and they'll find something to implicate you on. Talkers themselves but more towards project stuff so their visits are, thankfully, short. Politely ask them to work on their posture.

3. The Passersby. I like these people the best. They walk by, say hi, talk about the weather and may pause for a second but keep walking. A lesson to be adhered to by all.

4. The Trespassers. They infiltrate your cube by brazingly stepping in without being invited. They have ZERO shame and no clue what personal space means. Police tape wouldn't stop them from coming in and getting right on top of you just to blather. These are the same people that want to talk confidentially, keeping their voice in a hushed tone that eventually crescendos for everyone to hear. It's OK to remind them that there's a protocol of standing in your presence. Breaking protocol allows you to be blunt and tell them to backup a few feet (because their perfume, cologne, or bad breath is enough to kill off zombie hordes). If you're hesitant in asking them to backup a few steps, then you're trapped in your own home and you might as well offer them your sandwich.

5. The Managers. Not much you can do here. They fit all the classifications but also control your annual review. Welcome them with a smile and pray it's a short visit. I have an agreement with my team that, if they see a manager talking with someone, we call that person to interrupt the conversation. I consider it a team-building exercise and to see who has your back. First one that calls gets a free cup of coffee from the recipient.

6. The Tourists. These folks use your cube while you're out. They are as bad as the trespassers except it's more like a home invasion. A good one leaves things alone and/or puts your stuff back to how you had it. A bad one leaves used tissues on your desk, moves your mouse pad, and steals the office supplies you stole from others. It's a good habit to lock your desk drawers every night before leaving. If you don't, you take the risk that your stash of cookies and bourbon go missing.

7. The Neighbors. People that peek around and overtop your walls. You can't avoid them or even see them coming and they sit right next to you! Nowhere to run and you're almost always stuck in a conversation that can be best had during break time.


Look, we're really a family where we work; we see each other more than we do our families. It's understandable that habits folks have outside of work creep into the workplace. There's a certain amount of tolerance we have to exude but there are protocols to follow. Break protocol and you could end up being the next target in the ensuing rubber band war. Or worse, have your coffee mug hidden by a heartless colleague who really knows how to get under your skin.

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