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1  General Discussion / The Humour Zone / Re: SPIDER! on: May 28, 2007, 06:19:38 pm
I visited my dad who lived right next to the Mississippi River and on the inside of the bathroom door was a spider as big as a young girls fist. Yes! It must of been drunk off of toxic waste because this thing was so fat and ugly, I couldn't even leave the bathroom because I was so scared of going near the doorknob for it attacking my hand.

So I hollered and my dad opened the door and killed the spider, HOW i don't know because I didn't watch nor want too!!!

2  General Discussion / The Humour Zone / Re: SPIDER! on: May 22, 2007, 03:02:03 pm
lol! i hate spiders! i got in my car one night and was driving home and a spider dropped right down in front of my face, i had to pull over and shake around and freak out!

3  General Discussion / The Humour Zone / SPIDER! on: May 21, 2007, 09:46:57 pm
THE SPIDER THAT COULD SHOULD NEVER HAVE ENTERED MY REALM

10:22AM: I awake this particular sunny morning internally chilly but externally hot. Breathing heavy and feeling the chills, I feel that something is not right.  Shortly thereafter, I come to find the reason for my panic state.

THERE WAS AN UN-IDENTIFIED, NEVER BEFORE SEEN BLACK DOT ON MY CEILING. AND IT CAUGHT MY HALF AWAKEN EYES.

   Excitedly I grab a near-by piece of fabric and keeping my groggy eyes on the eight legged mutant beast who made the wroooong decision when he creped his little spidery legs into THIS room. I threw the rag at the ceiling, hitting him, and it fell to the floor.  The spider fell too.  Okay.

   10:30AM. I begin to wonder how long the spider has been on my ceiling.  And what location he found to oven get in.  I begin to wonder why I can’t have the little bugs that spiders eat rather than the spiders.
   Of course he isn’t dead, nooo.  Spiders should be the new ‘cats’ because they have a lot of lives.  I’ve stepped on a spider with my shoe only to have it skitter away as soon as I lift it up.  Or squish it with something like a towel and it only pushes it down, and it’s still alive and now angry at you for trying to kill it.  It’s like a human trying to kill another human with a giant marshmallow.
   I nudge the rag, wishing I wasn’t so deathly scared of these things, but something tickles my nose. It happens to be the spider dangling right in front of my NOSE all the while my body turns limp, numb and retarded at the same time and I guess my reaction was to revert backwards to literally get away from the spider..but I just fell over with a loud THUD.  My resting spot looked like one of those crumpled up white chalked drawings on the sidewalk from a suicide.
   After a quick thank you to the higher power for being ALONE in this moment, I then snatch up a shoe and squish the spider.
I want to end on this note: I normally don’t kill bugs/insects/anthropoids, but I simply don’t allow them into my spider free room zone.


4  General Discussion / The Humour Zone / Re: smacking into windows on: May 11, 2007, 01:59:02 am
Yes! It's funny (when they don't get hurt) It reminds me of that windex commercial and the birds Cheesy



5  General Discussion / The Humour Zone / smacking into windows on: May 10, 2007, 03:32:48 pm
I work at a car dealership and we have large floor to ceiling glass windows in our showroom. It's nice to be able to look out the window and see the lot; to see the traffic driving by. But every once in a while (don't be fooled: EVERY SO OFTEN) someone will just SMACK right into the glass, thinking it's open!

We have a few doors right by my desk and it usually happens when we have the doors propped open on a nice day. Must be something with their peripheral vision or something....It's so funny because usually they aren't hurt, but a little embarrassed and dizzy! They always leave a smudge from where they're face smashed into the window too, haha! I've windexed a few.

But one time I was directing this gentlemen to the body shop across the street and he was walking slowly backwards towards the front doors smiling at me when he turned around he kissed the glass HARD! It was so funny, I held my laughter until he stumbled out the door!!

6  General Discussion / Admins 4 Admins / Re: I'm new, saying hi on: May 07, 2007, 05:07:49 pm
Great! I'm from Iowa, right by the Mississippi.  I'm no river rat though, I was born and raised on the east coast..PA. Well I hope to have some good stories to post here!

7  General Discussion / Admins 4 Admins / I'm new, saying hi on: May 06, 2007, 12:02:59 am
Hi! I wasn't sure if I was suppossed to start a new thread just to say hi, but I'm Amy and I'm a recept for a HUUUUGE car dealership.  I'd love to vent on some of the stuff I see....because we all can agree that we see, hear and KNOW it all!

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