Well, Gee, I know that whenever I post anything, you will be along soon to add your two cents.

I wasn't writing about "a communal mug".  In my organisation we have beverage machines (like the vending ones, but no money required) and trays of cups and saucers - rather refined porcelain affairs - tumblers etc to help ourselves.  They're washed in the dishwasher by our housekeeper every day, along with any personal cups that people may have.

OK moderators - I've had quite enough of this nonsense.  I'm off!  

Goodbye everybody!

Arguing solves nothing, particularly if your colleague is dead set on her way.

"Greening the office" is a much bigger issue and needs to be tackled strategically from the centre/top of an organisation.  

For example, the way to solve the paper cup situation is not to have any paper cups available, but to have a supply of tumblers (preferably recycled glass to keep in with the green ethic) which may be used and then washed in your low-energy dishwasher with eco-dishwashing tablets.  Then your colleague will have to fit in, stop arguing and either drink from tumblers or die of thirst.  

Couriers in London can be a little "outre".  The last one I met up with (usually reception deals with them, but this was a particular item that had to be handed in person to the courier with special instructions) reminded me of Darth Vader.  He was dressed in black leathers, gloves and a black helmet with a tinted visor, and solemnly handed me a black pen and clipboard to sign his documents.  It was quite surreal and I still have the odd chuckle about it now and then.  

Jess, are you QUITE sure these are jokes? ROFLOLOLOLOL.  

These are v. funny.  Thanks.

I wish Raindance were here to advise you, Muffin!  She used to be a union shop steward until she started her new job and went into the board-room (traitor LOLOLOLOL).

Multi-tasking is focussing on more than one thing at any one time - as described above.  It's one of those buzz words and "skills" that an efficient and productive admin support is supposed to have and is probably not properly understood by the people who use it!  Its effectiveness is questionable, in my opinion.  In my own experience, concentrated focus, perhaps for a very short time, on this or that project is far more productive.  In truth, whilst I would say that I can multitask, I very rarely would sit at my computer composing a letter, reading incoming post about an investigation I'm conducting, speaking to a colleague and talking on the telephone.  I might be able to compose the letter and answer the phone in between, but not all of those activities at once.  I do, however, have an extremely varied work schedule throughout the day.  

If your "friend" ever raises this matter again, you could enquire why you are being told the bit of gossip about yourself.  It may surprise you how little you hear about it in the future.  It is possible that your co-worker was trying to be kind to you in a back-handed sort of way.

The other point that you raise is really about managing your emotions in the workplace.  It is possible that you are in a difficult place in your life, as well as being very sensitive.  You perhaps need to give that some thought and find some coping strategies.

With respect to the gossipers, I would steer clear of both of them and not give either of them space to gossip about you.  Gossip, like a fire, requires oxygen - the oxygen of other people listening.  If you deprive the gossip of oxygen then it won't be able to flourish.  That said, one of my dearest friends used to say "what they know they will repeat; what they don't know they will make up".  You can't stop gossip, but you can rise above it.  

My only experience with VIP airport lounges was a boss some years ago who travelled in his own jet and had access anyway to VIP lounges because of his status.  I do know that Priority Pass has a website.  It's a membership service, I believe, and one of my friends says she has had an excellent experience with it for her boss with access to lots of lounges worldwide.  

If you landed the job and didn't lie on your CV then you are definitely ready for it.  If your conscience is not absolutely clear then it should be a lesson to you not to do that again (forgive me, but there are times when the unvarnished truth needs to be said).  "Stepping up" to a higher-level job isn't just about qualifications NOW but also potential and clearly your company saw that potential in you.  This is not about faking it but do the bits you can do easily and learning FAST about the bits you can't.    

So how to proceed:

Forgetfulness: make lists in a workbook (Outlook task list is fine, but you will find a workbook easier for now)
Typing: I have a new assistant who could not type to save her life so I have put her on a touch-typing course.  If you landed the job through an agency, ask them because most agencies have upskilling courses.  Otherwise enroll with your local college on basic secretarial course or check out the BBC website which has a typing course.  It's for kids (lots of cartoons and moving things)  but will teach you the basics.
Diary management: ask your boss for pointers.  

If your boss is really lovely then he is your best ally, so enlist his help and ask for courses.  My last boss was a pussy-cat and really helped me out of a hole when I started work with him.  I was a returner-to-work after bringing up a family.  I decided to go back to university and finish my law studies and at the same time work in various fields.  It's a struggle, and I've had to wing it more than once in my work.  I'm lucky that my family is very supportive, but if I can do it so can you.

Mary,

I would certainly approach your boss.  You've nothing to lose and probably doesn't know about this person's attitude.

Best of luck.

Lucy

I would approach my boss about this if this happened to me and mention it to him.  Just see what he says and act accordingly.   It may be that your boss needs to give your senior colleague that specific message: my assistant is the one to contact about my diary.  

In my last job, I managed every detail of my boss's day, but in my new job Bossie does own diary arrangements, which is fine by me as I have access to the diary anyway.  It just saves me having to put things in.  One less task to do!  

I like electronic filing, as long as it is done properly and managed.  Another key thing is an off-site server if that is feasible.  I've just recently started my new job and they had an enormous risk to their business in the past few years with server going down in a major way.  Fortunately they have an off-site one as well.  

Your contract is with the agency until you are transferred formally to the company where you are working (and they will have to pay a fee to the agency).

I agree that it is frustrating that people demand to know what exams you passed twenty or thirty years ago, but that's their prerogative.  I must say that when I interviewed for my current (new) post, I was asked to submit a copy of all my qualifications and a confirmation from the law school where I am studying to say I am a bona fide student (even though the studies are nothing to do with my current job).  

I sometimes think that one's employers should have to provide THEIR cvs to prospective employees.  A company Annual Report doesn't cut it!  LOL.

Twas the month after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled,
the chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties
had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber),

I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?

Now, a pay rise is a good goal. So many companies are shedding staff, freezing pay or cutting it.  Good luck.