Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Ole answered, "Panty Stitched". "I sew the elastic onto lady's cotton panties.  "The clerk looked up panty stitched. Finding it classified as unskilled labour, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Sven was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week. When Ole found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The Clerk explained "Panty stitches are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labour."

"What skill?" yelled Ole, "I sew the elastic on the panties; Sven puts them on his head and says: "Yah, diesel fitter."


Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

It was opening night at the Glasgow Empire and "The Amazing Claude" was topping the bill.  People came  from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.  As Claude took to the stage, he announced that unlike most stage hypnotists, who invite 2 or 3 people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, he intended to hypnotize the whole audience.  

The atmosphere was electric as he withdrew a beautiful antique watch from his coat. "I want you to keep your eyes on this watch.  It is a very special watch. It has been in my family for six generation".

Then he began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch.....".

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off it's polished surface.  Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotists fingers and fell to the floor, shattering into dozens of pieces.

"****!!", said the hypnotist...

It took five days to clean up the theatre!

Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

I would have to agree with didface,

I regularly take notes and minute meetings but I have never been required to use shorthand.  Although I did learn shorthand several years ago, I have since forgotten most of it due to never having used it.

Some of my 'older' colleagues choose to write using shorthand but this a preference not a necessity.  Working for an FE college it is clear that the need for shorthand/speedwriting training has declined considerably.

As with didface, I can type faster than I can write and I would say this is true of most admins.

As for 'old school' organisations, there are probably some out there, but in my short experience I have never seen a job description/person specification asking for this skill.



Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

I'm very fortunate in that I work for a Further Education college in which students and most lecturers are away for the summer, up to a period of 8 weeks.  In that time it's fairly easy for me to take time away from work and return with little to no work piled on my desk.  I tend to take 2 weeks out in August and I'm able totally relax without thinking about the work that I'll have to return to!

In my role there is no system of delegation.  If a piece of work is urgent then another member of staff in the same role (for a different department) can pick it up, although this almost never happens.

Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

Hi

I've just found the book you were referring to (I think) on Amazon.co.uk - Managing Management Time: Who's Got the Monkey? by William Oncken - I will definitely be purchasing this book!

This book is available on both Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com.


Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

I took this snippet from an Association of University Administrators’ publication entitled ‘What is it you do again?’

Academics that come into your office invariably have a monkey on their shoulder, and their aim is to leave the monkey with you when they go out again.  Some monkeys should be accepted with open arms and nurtured by you, since they were always your responsibility and will be in safe hands.  Others should be left in the charge of their carrier, who needs to take them away with them again for grooming or sustenance.

Do not under any circumstances let your office become full of monkeys, since these are invisible to the next person who comes in with a monkey on their shoulder, and who thinks you have nothing to look after or do!

Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

Hi gee!

Good suggestion - will put that forward!

This isn't a typical part of my Job Description - I'm on the Public Relations and Communications Committee for the Campus so am often tasked with such things.

Cheers

Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

Hi all - am at a bit of a loose end...

...I work for a College in the UK and next week we're hoping to get the students involved in activities to promote diversity.  Having a few problems thinking of activities that might achieve this!

One idea that we do have is swapping gender roles - we do a lot of vocational courses and thought it might be fun to encourage some of our male students to experience courses typically taken by females and vice versa (i.e. get the girls involved in construction/engineering activities and the guys in beauty therapy/nail technician activities etc.)

Would be grateful to hear any suggestion that you may have.

Many thanks

Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

Hi

I generally don't get that much 'slack time' in my office - any that I do get I spend organising files - filing all the paperwork that I've left to one side.

I have a very good professional and social relationship with my colleagues and we tend to engage each other in often meaningless but insightful conversation.

Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

I agree that stubborn can be a positive quality - especially with regards to managing conflict!

My three would most likely be:

Organised
Creative
Humorous


Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

My current job title is School Administrative Assistant.  It's more of a PA role to the Head of School - I don't think that the title accurately reflects the work that my co-workers and I undertake in a typical day.

Previously I've been an NVQ Administrator, Personal Assistant and Purchase Administrator.

I've always worked in the Public Sector, primarily in Education.  The title PA tends to be given only to those working directly with senior management i.e. Campus Director, Vice Principal, Chief Executive.

Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

To all at DD...

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

and in Welsh...

Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda!


Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

Hi cianocc

Welcome to DD!

I keep a supply of request forms for Annual Leave / Leave of Absence that staff collect from me as and when they require them.  I also maintain a clour-coded calendar in Excel detailing staff leave / absence days so the Line Manager can see at a glance when staff are in / out.

It's simple yet effective.

Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

Ah cool - I work with the Faculty of Life Sciences, School of Health and Social Care.  Just been offered a few interviews with a local University, have considered the offer but will probably turn them down.

Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV

Hi fellow Admins!

If you're anything like me you're counting down the working days left until Christmas - Five and a half for me!

This has probably come up before but I'd be interested to know if there are any other Admins on DD working in an Education setting - specifically in Further Education within the UK?

Matt Griffin AffIQPS, LIAV