It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a  modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed  going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to  be  prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an  idea.

He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the  coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to  be  quite cold" the meteorologist at the weather service responded.  So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more  firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National  Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a  very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied,  "it's going to be a very cold winter."   The Chief again went back
to his people and ordered them to collect  every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again.  Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely,"  the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one  of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like  crazy."

I work part-time but I managed to get my employer to change my position for me (when I returned from maternity leave).  One option would be to perhaps contact local recruitment agencies - they are often the first port of call for some companies.  Other than that, I think it's just a case of waiting and watching the papers for anything that is advertised.

Hope this helps

Margo

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a
sudden, he said out loud, Lord grant me one wish?

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head, and in a booming voice the Lord
said. "Because you have really TRIED to be faithful to me, I will grant
you one wish".

The man said, "Build me a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over any time
I feel like it".

The Lord said, "Your wish is very materialistic. Just think of the
enormous challenges for that kind of an undertaking. The supports
necessary to
reach the bottom of the Pacific and the amount of concrete and steel
required for such a feat. I can do it, but it is most difficult for me
to justify your desire for such worldly things.

"Take a little more time", said the Lord, "think of another wish, a
wish, perhaps, that would honour and glorify me".

The man thought about for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish
that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside; what
they are thinking of when they give me the silent treatment; why they
cry; what they mean when they say nothing; and how I can make a woman
truly happy"?

The Lord said, "You want 2 lanes or 4 on that bridge"?

I agree - it's A.

But just like everyone else - I'd like it to be D.

Margo

Good Luck - hope all goes well.

Margo

Very good - just what I needed this afternoon.

I'll be chuckling about that for ages!

Margo

Brilliant!!  

Margo

Oh - I remember nearly all of these!!!  

Hello children of the 80's. Read this, it will take you back...

Um Bongo, Um Bongo, They drink it in the Congo

Friendship bracelets were ties that couldn't be broken.

You know all the words to "Ice Ice Baby".

You wanted to be on "Jim'll Fix It".

You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before he had plastic surgery.

You had one of those T-shirts that changed colour with heat(Global Hypercolour).

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off".

You were upset when She-ra, Princess of Power and He-Man got cancelled.

You remember Madonna in her cone stage outfit.

You knew "The Artist" when he was humbly called "Prince."

You wore fluorescent-neon clothing... (if you can call it clothing!)

You could break dance (ok, you wished you could)

You remember when Amiga was a state of the art video game system.

You remember M.C. Hammer.

You can still sing the rap to "Fresh Prince of Bel Air"....

You can remember when it was Jazzy Jeff and The fresh Prince and NOT  just plain Will Smith!

You own any cassettes.

You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins, ALF or ET lunchbox.

You have ever pondered on why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.

My Little Pony, Gummy Bears and Transformers are familiar to you.

You had a Swatch Watch.

You believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!"

With your pink (or blue) portable tape player, you sang to Kylie and  Jason!

You owned Polly Pocket or Micro Machines.

You made Ken fall in love with Barbie.

Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away.

You knew that Transformers were "more than meets the eye".

You wore a banana clip at some point during your youth.

You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living in space.

You know what leg warmers are and probably had a pair.

You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.

You recorded songs off the radio with your boom box.

You wore those wide, colourful shoelaces.

You never questioned why the A-Team were always imprisoned in places that had sufficient tools to build an armoured tank.

Dungeons & Dragons was your favourite programme.

You said "bright light, bright light" in a strange high-pitched voice.

You fell out with friends during heated arguments about the relative  merits  of Matt & Luke.

Cerise pink, electric blue and banana yellow have ever featured in  your mums wardrobe or make-up collection.

You did the top toggle of your coat up around your neck without having your arms in the sleeves, and you knew you looked like a superhero.

Your new winter coat was best used to demonstrate that your wings were like a shield of steel.

You still remember when the A-ha video was the pinnacle of modern  technology  and you can still sing all the words.

Your friends best party dress was either a ra-ra or puff-ball skirt.

You remember watching a house inhabited by a jester, a pantomime horse  and a woman who sneezed, and thinking that this was perfectly normal.

You tried to convince your Dad to fit a strip of red lights on the  front of  a Capri so it looked like KITT.

You had more than 10 sweets in a 10p mix-up.

You hid behind the sofa whenever you heard the word "Exterminate!".

Girls - You owned a pair of Pixie boots, generally worn with leg warmers.

Boys - You owned a pair of pale grey slip-ons, generally worn with white towelling socks.

Ooh, you could crush a grape!

You held a chicken in the air or stuck a deckchair up your nose.

You wore legwarmers & tried to do the splits while jumping in the air  while  singing you were going to live forever.

Your best mate had a Soda Stream at home and you were jealous.

Any elderly Scottish lady sounds like Supergran

You remember playing British Bulldog,

When 'Computer' Tennis, Pac-Man and Donkey-Kong ruled

You remember hearing the tune then running out to buy an ice cream cone

a warm summer night - 99's, screwballs or a cider lolly.

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

Important decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."

Pass this on to anyone who needs a break - I DOUBLE-DARE YA!!!



Tee hee
Margo

Absolutely brilliant!!!  It sounds so easy - I hope it is as she described it, I'm expecting my first baby in February!!!

Thanks
Margo

1.You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2.You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4.You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.
5.Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
6.When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7.When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line.
8.You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
10.Your CV is on a disk in your pocket.
11.You learn about your redundancy on the 11o'clock news.
12.Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.
13.Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
14.Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
15. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
16. Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
17. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
18. Your boss gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the latest features, but you have time to go for lunch while yours boots up.
19. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.
20. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
21. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".

AND THE CLINCHERS ARE...

22. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
23. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends"
24. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.
25, AND YOU ARE TOO BUSY TO NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO NO. 9

Absolutely brilliant - it should be put into action straight away!!

I love the truck - I wish I had the patience to do something like that.

Margo

Absolutely brilliant!

I think my dog could relate to a few of those!!

Margo

What about the "ooooooo's"?


Like oooooo isn't that beautiful!


That's what my bf and I say anyway.  "We're in the ooooooo's".

Margo

You are SO right Pam.

I suppose I could write 2 articles - one about the Directors and one about AoS & IQPS.

In fact, why don't I just write my own newsletter and send it out!

Have a good weekend

Margo

Mmmmmmmm - as you say, it would give them food for thought.

I just had a look on the front page to have a quick refresher read through - but it's gone.  Do you know the link for me to find it again please?  I tried to do a search but obviously didn't put in what it was looking for - my search returned nothing.

Thanks

Margo