Seriously????? UGH! Just a TAD upset....

[murphy]

Okay - so I'm getting married in June of next year. SUUUPER EXCITED. We have the date set and we were going to have a big wedding. After we agreed to that, the nightmare began. We started getting our relatives involved about who and who not to invite; issues about not inviting the children, etc etc etc.
I finally said forget it; we are eloping. So that is what we are going to do. I have it all planned out and we are going to fly off into the sunset and get married on a beach on an island around the Florida keys.
So what's the problem? I put in my time with my boss and then I sent him an email that I need to get things signed off because I have to get my deposits in. What's wrong? He's going to be on vacation for the first two weeks of June and when he get's back; I immediately am already gone by that weekend for two weeks. So between the both of us; we will not be together for 4 weeks and he's freaking out. Normally, I would just move it, but this is my wedding. He said we have to talk about it and figure out how to get through this. I don't want to move my wedding to July; I want to keep it in June and I COULD move the date, because their isn't any reason not to, but I love the number 21. I'm excited about THAT date. Am I being dumb? Friends of mine already put in the time to join us on our elopement and I don't think they will be able to move it either. I really want them to be a part of our wedding; as they were supposed to be the best man and the maid of honor.
Can anyone think of an idea? My fiancé said, we should just have our honeymoon BEFORE we get married. But then it's not really a honeymoon. I feel I'm being a little stupid about it all, but I'm almost willing to bring my computer with me in case of an emergency. LOL
UGH...... maybe I should just change the date and that be that. Thoughts?

[Atlanta Z3]

More than six months of planning time.  First off, calm down.  Let your boss talk it out.
Here's my suggestion - you will have plenty of time to bring a temp up to speed to cover your time off.
I would even offer if possible to check email at least once a day to respond to an emergencies maybe after the first three days so you feel like you get a real wedding and vacation.
I went through something similar, my boss and I were getting married within a month of each other.  I felt like I was planning two wedding.  Hers was mostly travel arrangements and destination wedding planning.  For mine my future hubby was great Jan 1 we sat down and marked deadlines on the calendar for items.  Cater week X, Flowers week y etc.
Kept me sane.
PS I wouldn't move your date unless you want to go to July 21st?
PPS BEST WISHES!

[msmarieh]

I don't see any reason why you should move your wedding date.

You can bring in a temp to cover your time. Your boss will simply have to adjust on that one.

That said, speaking as a non-expert but someone who's been married 23 years, remember that the wedding is only one day. The marriage lasts forever (hopefully). Focus on what's important and don't stress out over anything that will be over and gone the day after the wedding. You'll save yourself a lot of stress in life. Your wedding day is NOT the most important day of your life, regardless of what some may want you to think. It's only one day of many ahead.

[countrigal]

I agree with all the previous posters, especially MsMarie about this being only a day of your life, not THE day of your life.  Having just celebrated 20 years, I can honestly say that a lot of our wedding day has faded or been replaced with other memories that involve more of our family, especially as it grows.  And that was with 2 weeks of planning and all on my wedding (meaning, no real stress, just lots of fun, laughter, friends, and a few family).

Do not change your date.  The fact that your boss said you'd have to talk about the fact you'll both be off for, one at a time, for 4 weeks, just means that he just realised that the dates bump up to each other like that.  Give him a chance to fret it out, work out what must be done, what can be postponed, etc.  Personally, i wouldn't even offer to be available via e-mail most days of your honeymoon... else what else will he expect when you take your vacations with your family in the future.  While bossie is trying to come to terms with not seeing his right hand and arm for 4 weeks, you be working on suggestions on how it can be minimized while you're gone.  Is a temp a possibility?  If so, have a suggestion on an agency, with contact info, on hand.  Have a suggested drop dead date for the temp to be on hand to have a fairly seemless handoff between you and her/him.  If a temp is not an option, perhaps another office can "share" someone.  If so, have a list of what HAS to be handled and timelines for them.  Basically, what I'm saying is do what you do.... help your boss... it just happens that this time you're helping him deal with you not being there for 2 weeks, directly following his absence of 2 weeks.  Heck, maybe he'll change his dates and come back a day or 2 early just to see you before your leave.

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!!!  Remember to just enjoy the time with the person you love, the time to show and share with friends and family the depth of your love and devotion to each other.