Kerry is really missing her mate, Janie, who has set out to explore the world. The lovely letter (complete with sand in the envelope!) and photos of her laughing on the beach just make her seem even further away. Should Kerry finish her weekly report, or pen a quick reply to her travelling work buddy? Hmmm⦠Tough call. She grabs a notepad...
Dear Janie,
![Deskbound Diaries of a secretary's day @ work](http://www.deskdemon.com/images/newsletterart/deskdiary.jpg) Thanks for the piccies of you in Thailand. I'm amazed you had time to stop and write. I can't say I envy you all the uncomfortable bits of travelling, but I could do with a holiday and some excitement in the sun. I've found myself surfing the web looking at the breaks, wondering if I should book early to save money or go last minute to get a good deal. Did you have a good Christmas? I really enjoyed my time off. It was so nice not to get up in the morning.
Have you made any New Year's Resolutions? I'm going to cut out the 3 o'clock chocolate bar and eat something with more complex carbohydrates instead. Apparently things like wholemeal bread are slow release and stop you feeling hungry for longer. Helen in Reception started the Atkins diet on January 1st and is spending a fortune on products to deal with her smelly breath. I don't even know if she's been on the diet long enough to get the bad breath, but she's so worried about it that she reeks of mint and breath freshener. The clients will be complaining of the eye-watering smell of menthol, if she's not careful!
Not only is it no more 3 o'clock chocolate for me, but I'm also taking the stairs in order to get a little bit fitter. Yes! I've started taking the stairs down and I'm working my way up to taking the stairs when going back up. I'll do it a flight at a time. I wasn't going to join the gym again because I go every day for a week and then nothing happens, and the money just falls out of my bank account.
The atmosphere here is full of determination. Mr McAndrews wondered if it was because of Ãber Boss's pep talk, which seemed to go over very well. Everyone sat and stared at him for the full forty minutes, something they never do for Mr McAndrews when he talks. Mr McAndrews was getting really worked up about it - I could hear him practising the monthly briefing in his office. I wasn't going to tell him the real reason everyone was so attentive because I didn't want to get anyone into trouble, but it was really bothering him - he wouldn't even have a Friday cream cake, he was that preoccupied. Eventually I had to tell him it was because Perry had started a bet on whether Ãber Boss wears a wig, has had a hair transplant or has naturally funny hair. Mr McAndrews went very still for a moment, then he looked like a spring was unwinding inside him. Beaming, he offered me his last Swiss bun. He does take things to heart, bless him!
I've finally figured our why Ãber Boss has been e-mailing Amy every time he wants her to make him a cup of coffee. He still hasn't got the hang of please and thank you in verbal communication, but Amy has created him some templates that say 'Dear Amy, Please will you-' and have a set of tick boxes for 'make me a cup of coffee', 'come and take dictation when it's convenient for you' and 'bring me anything I have to sign today'. There is a tick box for 'other' but I don't think he's had the courage to use it yet.
Hey, big news! Someone is actually leaving! Sam from Sales who used to do all the graphic design for everyone has been head hunted. The sales team are all really jealous because not only does Sam's new job comes with a BMW convertible Z3, but Ãber Boss gave him two months' gardening leave because Sam works with 'sensitive information' and might take details of all our sales leads to his new employers. Pete tried to explain to Ãber Boss that not only is Sam's new job in graphic design not sales, but that his new company makes baby clothes and will be unlikely to be able to use any of our clients unless they are expecting, but Ãber Boss just gave him a lecture on respecting his decision.
I think Pete is green-eyed to be honest. He keeps carrying around the local paper when it's jobs night and mentioning that he needs to stretch his wings, but no one is taking much notice apart from Perry who asked Pete if he was a mutant birdman from the Lost Planet or if he was taking up hang gliding. Pete stomped off in a huff and refused to come to the pub. I shall have to go and make him feel appreciated so he doesn't go and leave, if only because my expanding responsibilities mean that I now deal with the recruiting and I can do without the extra work. I'd hate it if he left, anyway; the place wouldn't be the same without him.
One thing that is still the same about this place is that I have to do the weekly reports. Suppose I'd better get on and do them :-)
Lots of New Year love! Miss you.
Kerry xxx
P.S. Sam said he was thinking of taking some holiday on his new signing bonus and when I mentioned that you were in the Far East he asked for your e-mail so maybe you could meet up. I hope you don't mind, I gave it to him - I know you two always got on well.
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