Thank you so much for the postcard of the camel chewing. I put it on the notice board where it supplies endless amusement - every time Über Boss stands next to it, I can't help noticing an uncanny resemblance!

Things have been interesting in our department recently because Amy won't do things for Über Boss unless he asks nicely. And Über Boss isn't used to asking nicely! He's got a new intercom so he doesn't have to use his telephone or open his door to talk to her. Yesterday he buzzed her with his new toy and said: 'Coffee!' in this really commanding manner. Amy buzzed him right back and said: 'Tea.'

He didn't get what she meant and buzzed her again saying: 'Coffee!'. She responded straight back, saying: 'Hot chocolate.' He came through, and shouted: 'Coffee!!' Without blinking, Amy pushed her button on the intercom and said: 'Orange juice'. You could practically hear Über Boss going purple in the face as he stabs his button again and demands to know what Amy is playing at. 'Oh,' she says casually (like she can't hear his stress readings reaching hitting end-of-tax-year levels), 'I thought we were playing a word association game!'

I wanted to punch the air and yell: 'You go, Gurrrl!' like they do on Jerry Springer. There was this strangled sound from Über Boss and he stopped buzzing her for the rest of the afternoon. But three minutes later she gets a terribly polite e-mail asking her if she would be so kind as to make him a cup of coffee, thank you!

I've been rushed off my feet recently. I'm organizing the Christmas party. Or I'm supposed to be organizing it. Everyone and their dog has been giving me their opinion on what should happen. Amy thought we should have a cruise up the river with a fireworks display. Accounts wanted to go clubbing. Research wanted pizza in the office (like that was any different from their normal day). The maintenance staff wanted a sit-down meal, and Dana and Perry from IT said they didn't mind what we did so long as they got the photos to put up on the Intranet within 48 hours.

Über Boss kept coming to me with 'helpful suggestions' for things like pony rides and bouncy castles, a carnival with candy floss and silly hats on every table. He was such a big kid, all 'Can we, can we, can we?' and pink-faced with excitement. I had no idea how I was going to please everyone. Want to hear my really clever solution? I worked out a cost per head and then passed it over to the department admins to organise what each department wanted. Upshot? They get to exercise their event planning skills, and my problem solving skills are now polished and shiny.

Mr McAndrews reckoned it was a stroke of genius, adding grimly that if someone had thought of it before we wouldn't have had last year's visit from the police. Our department is going to have a river cruise. It's really dinner on a restaurant that's on a boat, but that's details. Über Boss is so excited we're going on a BOAT that he's forgotten about the carnival and the bouncy castle (thank goodness!).

The consultants have finally gone, but not before giving us a presentation of their findings on whizzy PowerPoint slides complete with the sound of glass breaking every time a title dropped in. I heard Mr McAndrews say under his breath that if he had realized that the Board wanted to know that the secretaries are overworked, the sales team are unmotivated, and IT are overstretched, he would have submitted his own report and charged them half the price. It was quite an interesting presentation. I had never realised that sending round one of those memos where people tick to say they've read it and pass it on, was 'creating a communications channel'. I was also amazed to discover that anything I do which I start and have to return to later, is a 'program'. Later on, I tried saying 'send it down the communications channel' to Mr McAndrews and he got a funny look on his face and reached for his antacid tablets. I guess he's a memo sort of person.

One positive thing that came our of the consultants' visit is that IT have been allowed to recruit an extra person. So we now have Emma, who I met last week when she came up to fix Über Boss' machine. He left his intercom on when he was talking to her, so Amy and I heard everything. He was insisting that his computer was asleep because there were lots of Zs on the screen. Emma came all the way up, went in to his office and surreptitiously knocked his squeezy executive stress toy off the 'Z' key whilst shouting, 'WAKE UP!' at the computer. Über Boss was dead impressed.

Bye for now. Take care, have a fab Christmas - wherever you'll be - and think of me when you are sipping sangria on a beach.