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I'm just sick of this all.  I have a new manager, and ever since she took over she has been a headache to me.  She starts off by trying to give me a proposal for admonishment, when I have never even gotten a verbal counseling, and what she wanted to admonish me for wasn't my responsibility.  Then she started just trying to keep me feeling inferior in various ways.  She won't tell me to my face problems she has with my work, not even over the phone, but she's quick to point out my failings in e-mail format -- and I know that it's because she can make a read-reciept and put it in my file.  So ok, I'm not perfect, but let's see her do all that she expects me to do in this job and do it all perfect.  Anyway, today was just too much.  She sends me an e-mail complaining about the document I sent her, which is just what she asked for, but because I didn't put all the various components on one sheet (in excel, each job duty is on a different sheet instead of all on one, for ease in updating weekly) she's not happy.  Then, because I don't have all the old dates requested (when did this get initiated, when did the director sign, etc), then I'm at fault for not providing everything requested - again.  Ummm... those were not things required to be tracked until now, so I don't have all that information at this time, but will ensure to keep it for any initiated since this tracking system.  Guess that's not acceptable.  Then, because I didn't spell out that I send out hard copies, and follow-up with e-mails, she slaps my hand in the e-mail for communicating action items to managers via e-mail.  And the list goes on, and on, and on.  Then to cap it all off... I'm no longer able to just do my job.  Requests for anything that I am responsible for must go to her, and she will pass along to me - if it's appropriate.  And she has no clue what I really do, which is why this all p*sses me off.  She couldn't do 1/2 of it in even twice as much time as I do it all, and I'm not doing it fast enough or good enough???  And why do all requests for something simple, say a copy of a piece of paper or report that I'm responsible for, have to go through her?  I know the confidentiality laws, that's part of the requirements for my job, so why not let me just do it and you do the management role you're in???

Sorry... just had to vent as this has severely upset me tonight.

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

Hi CG

Sorry to hear you're having these problems.  Just try and think of it this way, she's probably jealous of you and all you can achieve and may be trying to undermine you because of this.  As a new manager she may well be trying to 'make her mark' so to speak.

Hope this gets better for you soon.  Deep breaths and Deskdemon vents until then!

All the best,
Nicola.

Sounds like she's trying to establish a pecking order, even though obviously there already is one since she's considered management.

Obviously, she has a self-esteem problem.

smile sweetly and say no problem and then vent to us!

Christmas vacation is coming......

CG, you know I think that's the first time I've ever read a posting like this from you so I guess you have every right to vent here.  Am so sorry this has happened specially at this time of year when everyone is trying to be merry etc.  Sounds like a bit of a power struggle to me.  My guess is she is asking for everything to go through her so she can get up to speed on what's going on - ever thought of that?  She's just asserting her authority and by changing things is showing you she has the power.

Why don't you ask her face to face for a sit down meeting.  Emailing how she feels about you or your work is the coward's way out, so my advice to you is to call her bluff and get her to talk face to face - that is no way for a manager to deal with their closest staff.  Ok so if my boss is out of the office or at a meeting where he can still read his mail, I'll drop him a quick note.  But mostly I go in and speak to him - it works both ways.

Am sure you will get lots of other advice here but I hope you can try and not let it bother you so you can have a great Christmas!

G

Sounds like she's insecure and may be under scrutiny from her superiors - she's showing typically symptoms of PMA (Protect My A$$).  If she's not even able to communicate in an adult manner (i.e. face to face), it sounds like she's got a pretty bad case!

Unfortunately I've no advice for dealing with someone like this - I just hope your last couple of days before xmas improve and you can enjoy the holidays without worrying about her.

Good luck.

CG-is she newly hired or has she come from some other department?  Is she hoping that you'll leave so she can put in her own hand-picked people?  I've found this in the past, managers who make their subordinates miserable so they'll leave and can bring in their own crew.

If this is just her personality, it sounds like she hardly has time to do her own work, what with filtering yours.  What is her manager like?  Someone who will want results and will replace her if they don't materialize?  Or just maintain the status quo?  My only advice at this point is to start documenting (although you probably have already) and give her one chance to work with you.  After that, I would go over her head.  With your track record, I would hope that your concerns would not be ignored.

I hope things start improving for you.  Be sure to vent here anytime.

To answer some of your queries... This manager was promoted from within the office, so until this past Spring, she was a co-worker and not a manager (though she was the Acting anytime bossie was gone).  I know she's under some scrutiny, as is our entire office, which is why I keep her completely involved/informed on all that I do.  In fact, I'm the one that initiated that (in my own words) "so you won't get blindsided from the Director on anything".  But even that isn't enough.  Now she's having to approve me doing my job, and my PD specifically states that I work with minimum supervision due to the nature of the job and the suspenses that come down.  Even if I tell her I've done X,Y, and Z this morning, the fact that she didn't get the request first is at issue.  Ummm... does she really think she has time to funnel all those requests to all of us staff??  Add to this whole issue that we are a 2 campus facility, with "main" offices at both facilities some 45 miles apart.  She works on the opposite campus from me most days, so face-to-face is sort of difficult to do at times.  That is why I rely on e-mail so much, as she spends most of her days in meetings and handling other crises.  She is responsible for 4 or 5 different functioning teams, all doing different jobs, so she has plenty to keep up with.  I'm in a 2-person team, and we've always functioned well together, ensuring that we keep each other informed of suspenses and statuses, and keeping the boss informed of what our priorities are at any time.  Now that's not enough according to her latest e-mail, and I've just about had it.  It's bad to say, but I do feel that part of this is racial -- and I don't normally look for that as a reason, but too many others who are aware of the situation have stated that this may be the cause.  I do know that I intimidate her because I'm a strong, self-assurred and skilled individual who has progressed in this company much faster than she has and am 1/2 her age and almost her equal in the pay scale.  I know that the age is an issue since she stated that she rated me low on a supervisory appraisal form for a position I applied for "because you are not mature enough yet for that position -- you need to gain a few more years, get a bit older first".  That position would have put me exactly 1 step below her, and would have had me working for one of the big bosses, and she may have - on occasion - had to take orders from me on their behalf.

The bad news is that even after sleeping on it last night, I'm still upset.  And I'm more determined than ever to look into lateraling out of this job and letting her put someone else in here that may better meet her requirements.  I know that my skills and work ethics make me extremely marketable and wanted by other offices within this company, and I know that as long as they can find me a position, there will be folks willing to take me on.  So why stay where I'm evidently not wanted (and where the job is just not quite my forte and I'm basically bored with it - and her) when I could get a position more up my expertise and more challenging, and work with folks who appreciate the skills the individuals bring to the team.

Thanks for listening, y'all... I'll let you know how it goes.

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

CG, I'm so sorry you are going through this.  And I know it must be really bad for you to be feeling the way you are - you are always "the rock" around here!

All I can say is - document, document, document.  I think it is about the only way to handle micromanagers.

The other thing (if you have the patience for it!) is maybe to just let her hang herself.  I think that she does indeed feel threatened by you, and this is her way of letting you know that she is really the boss.  The problem is that she won't have time to do her own work and micromanage you and her other staff, too.  So, one option is to grit your teeth, bite your tongue, count to ten - whatever it takes and just wait for her to crash and burn.  Let her micromanage all she wants and see how long she can keep it up.

Of course, if you would be just as happy in another office and can find a lateral (or better) position where you are appreciated for all of your good qualities, that may be the very best thing for you.

Good luck to you.  I know it is very difficult for someone who is independent and capable to suddenly have their hands tied!

Try to forget about it at least during the holiday and tackle it all in January with a fresh perspective.

Well, I'm a believer that the universe gives you signs--and this may just be the sign you need to make a change and encounter a whole new challenge and success.  Hope you have a few days off for the holidays to relax and review your game plan.

CG, I'm coming to this late, but sweetie, life's too short to hate your job.  

I know it's frustrating, but look at it this way -- you're in a position of POWER, girl!  You've got departments who would just LOVE to get you on their team (Remember Scarlett at the barbecue?) and this nitwit is pushing you right into their hands!  

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas with your DH and little Tanner!  Now give yourself a present and shoot for something better!

CG, I'm coming to this late, but sweetie, life's too short to hate your job.  

I know it's frustrating, but look at it this way -- you're in a position of POWER, girl!  You've got departments who would just LOVE to get you on their team (Remember Scarlett at the barbecue?) and this nitwit is pushing you right into their hands!  

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas with your DH and little Tanner!  Now give yourself a present and shoot for something better!

I'm very sorry to hear about your difficulties, CG.  This lady sounds like the classic case of a person who can't handle their promotion and can't manage.  Micro-managing never got anyone anywhere, but if she is being observed by HER superiors, then you can be sure that her inappropriate management style will be noted.  I have worked with at least one micro-manager and, in my opinion, there is no-one who will ever satisfy such a person.  Such a person is generally at least mildly incompetent, knows it, suspects other people might know it and feels it.  They don't even have the gumption to acquire the skills and knowledge that they need.  

None of which is any help to you.  

If there really is no way you can improve this situation then finding another post is the best way forward.  I agree with the others - whatever you decide to do, in the meantime you should keep careful records of your interactions with this lady.  

I wish you the very best for 2005, CG, and I hope that you soon resolve this matter.

With kind regards and very best wishes,

Raindance

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.  And Raindance, I wish that her supervisors would notice and hold her accountable, but they're almost as bad so I don't see hope from that direction either.

I had a great Christmas, all things considered, and felt ready to tackle both the job and my boss once more, and it went fairly well for a bit until today.  Once more I'm being held to the carpet for crap that isn't really mine.  My counterpart, who's responsibility it is to do Incidents (daily workload -- lots of work and needs clinical knowledge), returned just before Thanksgiving so I was happy to return that duty to her for the month of December.  These Incidents are to be reported weekly to the Director's (we call them a Pentad, because it's 5 folks).  Anyway, she never did and she did very little of the updates.  My boss called me regarding these the last week of December, so I put some together and presented them on Dec 30.  My counterpart retired Jan 3, so she's no longer available to help and now I'm solely responsible once more.  Ok, no biggee.  Didn't get them ready last week because of other priorities (which are actually my responsibility, per my PD) and hoped to get them out this morning.  I forgot about my OB appt yesterday afternoon, which had me unavailable to make all the updates that have to be done last minute before sending them out.  Plus no one was available at our other office (45 miles away) to print them and bring them to the meeting this morning at that facility.  So bossie comes in this morning and wants to know why I didn't present them this morning -- I tell her.  She asked when the last time they were reported was and I tell her, and she's like "so they haven't been presented in 2 weeks?  We need to get these done, and stay on them."  Knowing her, I should expect an e-mail in a bit with her words on it warning me to present these, so that she can have documentation of me not doing what I'm supposed to do.  Ummm... I've told her and told her that I'm not clinical, that it takes me a lot longer to do these than it did my counterpart or than it would for her to do them herself.  And I've explained that with the other duties I've had to take on from my now-retired counterpart, I just don't have the time to do it all the way she expects.  I've told her that I don't feel comfortable doing these because of that, not feeling myself qualified to go to docs and nurses and answer their questions on these Incidents since I have no clinical background, but does she listen?  Does she assign this to another clinical person in the office? Nope.  It's all me.  And will be, because my counterpart's replacement is just now, this week, in training for the new position and won't be anywhere ready to take on all of the duties that come with the job for at least a month or more.  So I'm going to be help accountable for something I'm not qualified to do, and bossie is going to use it as a means of rating me lower on my annual proficiency here in a couple of months.  I can see it coming already.

Sorry y'all... but this is really getting to be too much.  I know it's a personal thing.  She's threatened by me in more ways than one.  I try and I try to do everything she asks, keep her informed of my process and any problems, basically checking in with her every hour on the hour so she can't tell me I didn't tell her, but still there's no light at the end of this tunnel.  And if I go to my HR office, then they'll turn around and tell her everything that I've said, which will make life even more unpleasant while I'm trying to find another position.  So I'm having to decide whether I want to involve them and try for a lateral, or just keep watching positions coming available and hoping that one comes open soon that I can apply for, and hopefully get.  And do I really need this additional stress in my life????  NOT!  I'd love to just tell her to BACK OFF or to do the crap herself so that she realises how much work is actually involved, but I'm too professional to do that, so here I sit, frustrated and waiting for the other shoe to fall again this morning.

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

CG, Sorry to hear your having such a tough time still.  I wish I could offer a solution, but know that your tough enough to work through this.  You realize that its a bad situation and you are anticipating some bad vibes and actions and can kinda plan on those accordingly and not be so upset about it if you just heard it unexpectly.  Your doing everything you can especially by looking out for yourself in getting a transfer if possible.  Lots of people don't have that luxury.  If its a small location it's either deal with it or look outside the company.  That's the nice thing about working in a larger environment.

My best advice, hang in there as long as you can until something else comes along where someone can appreciate you.

And by all means, stop by and vent here as much as you like, and you know I'm a phone call or an email away anytime.

Hugs for a better day!

Diamondlady fka chris68
Peer Moderator

I called it y'all.  Just got the follow-up e-mail, which she cc's to herself like I won't know that she's keeping these for some other purpose.  Let her.  Perhaps if she "fired" me then I could get out of this position and into one that works better for all parties, myself included.  (Being government, I can't really be fired, but wouldn't mind her getting me transferred out of here.  Let her do the work and let someone else try to please her.)

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

CG, That sounds like an almost impossible job, pleasing her I mean.  Hang in there kiddo.

Diamondlady fka chris68
Peer Moderator

(((((((((CG)))))))))))))

Was in a similar situation in "another life".  All I can say is you have far more patience and professionalism than I would in a similar situation.  

The bad news is, she's out to get you.  Plain and simple.  The good news is that you've got your exceptional smarts and instincts on your side.  You know what she's trying to do (could the writing on the wall be any clearer?) and, sadly, you know what the reaction would be from HR and her higher-ups.

So, it's high time to think about what CG wants and needs and to hell with everyone else.  Do what you can to do to the best of your ability as far as the job is concerned, document the heck out of everything and get those feelers out there!  There's something somewhere where you'll be valued and appreciated!  Sadly, it's not your current position anymore.

I find this so sad, and infuriating, because from your postings over the years it sounds like you've enjoyed and found fulfillment in your job and it only takes one you-know-what to ruin it.  Oh, sure, we all talk about how other people can't have an effect on us -- how we can't let their insecurities and negativity drag us down and all that -- but the fact is when that insecure, negative person is the one making (unjust) judgements on YOU, it has a BIG effect.  

Stay strong.  We're here for you.

katie

CG, I just wanted to extend my sympathies to you again for what seems to be a pretty hopeless situation.  I agree with another poster who said she's out to get you.  I know that you are a professional who I'm sure is adept at keeping work at work and not taking it home and internalizing it.  I've had to build a professional wall with one particular difficult person here at my workplace.  Please remember that and please don't take your stress home with you, your little ones need a happy mommy.

You have my sympathy.  I, too, have a micro-managing boss.  I could see myself/my bossie in many of the circumstances you described.

The piece that jumped out at me was that you are being asked to review clinical paperwork without having a clinical background.  I, too, work in the healthcare field and there are pages and pages of regulations about who is qualified to review work done by clinicians and who isn't.  

I would be really concerned about liability issues if you make a mistake / miss something because you have no clinical background.  It's definitely something I would explore.

Sending you good thoughts.....

twhfan