Title: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: catsmeat on November 08, 2004, 05:32:01 pm
I found this on a carrier bag from Woolworth's:
What did the hat say to the scarf?
You hang around, I'll go on ahead.
Anyone else got any more groaners?
What did the hat say to the scarf?
You hang around, I'll go on ahead.
Anyone else got any more groaners?
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: gee4 on November 08, 2004, 05:47:42 pm
I like that one.
G
G
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: radaro on November 08, 2004, 06:06:45 pm
From my six year old (and he's got plenty):
What do you call a camel in the desert?
Lost
What do you call a camel in the desert?
Lost
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: bethalize on November 09, 2004, 01:25:33 pm
What is a sea monster's favourite food?
Fish and Ships.
Bethalize
Peer Moderator
Fish and Ships.
Bethalize
Peer Moderator
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: gingertea on November 10, 2004, 09:12:32 am
Q: How do you catch a unique bird?
A; You 'neek up on it.
A; You 'neek up on it.
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: jane10 on November 10, 2004, 05:19:21 pm
What did the '0' say to the '8'?
That's a nice belt you've got there!!
That's a nice belt you've got there!!
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: countrigal on November 10, 2004, 06:14:47 pm
Why is 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
(7 ate 9)
CountriGal
Peer Moderator
Because 7 8 9.
(7 ate 9)
CountriGal
Peer Moderator
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: radaro on November 10, 2004, 06:39:30 pm
What do you call two banana peels?
A pair of slippers.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
Knock! Knock!
(Who's there)
Water
(Water who)
Water you doing?
I've got hundreds that my children torture me with on a regular basis.
A pair of slippers.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
Knock! Knock!
(Who's there)
Water
(Water who)
Water you doing?
I've got hundreds that my children torture me with on a regular basis.
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: ControlledChaos on November 12, 2004, 01:01:40 pm
Apologies - this is my teenage sons favourite
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: jak0215 on November 12, 2004, 05:04:34 pm
A little off color:
What do you see when the Pilsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.
What do you see when the Pilsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: Jackie G on November 12, 2004, 06:23:26 pm
Ah that's a classic!
Jackie, Peer Moderator
www.iqps.org
Jackie, Peer Moderator
www.iqps.org
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: semaxwell1 on November 13, 2004, 02:27:38 am
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
Dam!
semaxwell1
Dam!
semaxwell1Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: carrielgreen on November 15, 2004, 04:08:59 pm
This one always gets me...
Why have gorillas got big nostrils?
Because they’ve got big fingers :0)
Why have gorillas got big nostrils?
Because they’ve got big fingers :0)
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: radaro on November 15, 2004, 04:37:28 pm
Since we are now going into the "off-colour" area:
What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when he hits your windsheild?
His a**hole
What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when he hits your windsheild?
His a**hole
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: ControlledChaos on November 23, 2004, 05:23:33 pm
Back to the groaners - we had our Christmas lunch today (2003's Christmas lunch not 2004 - that's still to come) and the 'joke' in my cracker was:
Q: If two's company and three's a crowd, what is four and five?
A: Nine
Q: If two's company and three's a crowd, what is four and five?
A: Nine
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: ecogirl on November 25, 2004, 01:21:35 pm
How do you make a bear cross?
Just nail two bears together.
caroleanne
Just nail two bears together.
caroleanne
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: radaro on November 25, 2004, 10:52:32 pm
How do you make a hippopotamus float?
You need two scoops of ice cream, some root beer and a hippopotamus.
You need two scoops of ice cream, some root beer and a hippopotamus.
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: JessW on November 26, 2004, 11:46:55 am
OK, if they are going to get that bad I will have to say...
How do you make a fish stick?
Use plenty of glue!
Jess
How do you make a fish stick?
Use plenty of glue!
Jess
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: ecogirl on December 06, 2004, 12:23:16 pm
What happens if you drop a snowball into a glass of water?
It gets wet!
caroleanne
It gets wet!
caroleanne
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: ecogirl on December 17, 2004, 02:18:24 pm
Q. Why was the broom late for work.
A. He overswept!
caroleanne
A. He overswept!
caroleanne
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: chris68 on December 28, 2004, 03:27:25 pm
OK a little late here but these I could not resist sharing in the days after Christmas. Enjoy!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle.
Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
Its true.... Comet cleans sinks!
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?
Claustrophobic!
What is special about the Christmas alphabet?
It has NO EL.
What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile-toe!
Why are Christmas trees like people who can't knit?
They both drop their needles!
What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle.
Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
Its true.... Comet cleans sinks!
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?
Claustrophobic!
What is special about the Christmas alphabet?
It has NO EL.
What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile-toe!
Why are Christmas trees like people who can't knit?
They both drop their needles!
What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you!
Title: Re: "Christmas cracker" jokes
Post by: Jackie G on December 30, 2004, 08:44:48 pm
Oh these are great. I used quite a lot of these on my Christmas morning radio show, so thanks to those of you whose jokes I used, and for posting them so early which gave me the idea. The ones I got at parties in December were rubbish!
Jackie, Peer Moderator
www.iqps.org
Jackie, Peer Moderator
www.iqps.org