Title: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: jadegrniiz on August 10, 2001, 05:30:29 pm I'm sure quite a few people here have lived through financial setbacks... how'd you get through it?
When my hubby was forced to transfer 100 miles away this past April, it came with a $10K/yr paycut. $7k was salary, $3k was annual bonus totals (went directly to savings)... so the $7k is really all we used in the budget. I was 5 months pregnant at the time, and happened to trip into my dream job after spending 3 months unemployed... only it, too, came with a $8500/yr paycut. I picked up a second gig, selling Discovery Toys in hopes of making extra cash, but it's not taking off as fast as I had hoped. Now, we have this baby due in 7-8 weeks, and have yet to be able to stretch our dollar to make ends meet. Our savings was spent paying bills those 3 months I was out of work, and know I won't be paid for 6 of my 8 week maternity leave. We've cut our cable down to bare minimums... thermostat is constantly 78 degrees... lights off every chance we get... I use coupons at the grocery store and don't indulge on ANYTHING anymore. It's getting us by for now, but what about in December, when I'm just getting back to work... Christmas season.... and an added $800 in monthly baby bills? What have you guys done in the past to make ends meet? Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: fireproof on August 10, 2001, 06:21:26 pm Oh, I am so sorry, I know how hard it can be.
I got everything for baby at garage sales (and don't be shy about letting everyone know that you welcome hand-me-downs. (Hint: babies need a whole new wardrobe every six months - get some boxes, lable them for sizes 6, 12, 18 and 24 months, and stash away your "finds." I'll never forget how panicked I was when I realized my first baby had suddenly outgrown EVERYTHING she owned). And, if I might be a little delicate here, breastfeeding is free, and very much better for baby than formula. I found daycare near my work, and visited during my lunch hour; I also purchased a pump (about $100 - but if you have a la leche league branch in your area, they might be able to help you rent, or get a clean used one), and I pumped and froze extra milk in bottle liner bags, so my girls never went hungry. You might have to ask your boss to be somewhat accomodating (you'll need a private area for about 15-20 minutes, preferably with a sink so you can wash the equipment; and you'll need access to a refrigerator - and a brown paper bag to "hide" the packages). Breastfeeding IS ackward and embarassing at first, but I discovered that it was soooo much easier (once we got the hang of it), than having to prepare bottles when baby was hungry (the middle of the night - forget about it - I just plugged the kid in and we both went back to sleep). And it was a tad uncomfortable letting my boss know that it was IMPERATIVE that I take a short break in the morning to "take care of business," but this was my BABY I was accomodating - they understood. Also, if you are really in dire straights, you might check with social services about WIC suppliments, or child care assistance. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: fireproof on August 10, 2001, 06:22:52 pm By the way - I am the queen of cheap, so I am going to be adding more thoughts as they come to me......
Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: mlm668 on August 11, 2001, 08:00:13 am Hang in there. I know just how you feel. I'm a single parent with one income and it never seems to stretch far enough. My ex decided to quit his job a few months back and I lot my CS for a month. Thought it would get better when he started working again, but this boss isn't regular is mailing the withheld support. Never can be sure when its going to come in anymore.
One or two things I try to do are to buy no-name items when I shop. I tend to buy all my groceries except meats at Wal-mart and I'll get their brand of certain items like coffee and bread. Their bread at less than 75 cent a loaf last longer than the name brand at $1.39/loaf. I buy bulk no-name toilet paper at Sam's Club when I go do the office shopping. With 3 females in one house you can imagine how fast that goes, so buying bulk helps there. Bulk paper towels too. Since I only use them as napkins they go far. A warm soapy rag is used to wipe things down. Let me see.......do you buy cleaners to clean off your counters and such? If so, stop. A sink of hot soapy water works just as good and that drop of dish detergent is a lot cheaper than several sprays of a cleaner. And if you need to disinfect, use bleach & hot water. That way you only need to buy one type of cleaner for your bathroom. Check the web for Martha Stewart type sites. They have great tips for how to make your own cleaners and such with stuff like vinegar that you can buy for next to nothing. I haven't tried anything like that yet. Just don't have the time to mix and experiment so I just run a sink of soapy water when I need to clean anything in the kitchen. And remember, there are always oodles o' noodles...........our standby when a bill has to come before groceries. Fortunately the kids like them, so they are great for lunch. In fact, any kind of pasta is cheaper than other foods. In the end they, you find you have to cut out more than you want. But just remember, you can always get them back one day. The luxuries aren't as important and we tend to think. I'm on the verge of cancelling my satellite service. Trying to find other ways to pay for it since I bought and subscribed to it so my kids could have movies on icky days. Hang in there. Things tend to get worse before they get better. The drop in income will take some time to adjust to, but you can do it. Its not the end of the world, just a set back. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: jadegrniiz on August 11, 2001, 08:46:19 am The advice so far is all good.... but I'll add this..
Our problems don't seem to be groceries and such... our problems are rent, car payments, car insurance payments (since I had that accident last month, our payment jumped from $80/mo to $150) medical bills and credit cards. An extra $3 tacked onto my grocery bill so I can buy my Clorox Wipes isn't going to add but a drop in the bucket. Sure, *collectively* it'll save me $75/year... but that isn't going to pay for anything. We need our vehicles... only one is brand new, and to trade it for something cheaper will end us up with the same payment, just higher maintance costs. We are stuck in a lease until May 1st, and to break it to live somewhere cheaper will cost us our $1500 security deposit. I've stopped getting my hair cut and colored (thank goodness for long hair... no real style is needed, and if I need an occasional trim at some walk in place.. big whoop. I soaked off my acrylic nails, and am praying my own nails grow healthy in hopes of maintaining a professional appearance. I use Dryel for my dryclean clothes... and started wearing my glasses more so that I can save my disposable contacts for "important" occasions. I do plan to breastfeed, but I can't *count* on that to work out in the long run. With my last child, unfortunate problems came up and breastfeeding had to stop for the sake of my health at 4 weeks. Doc says I can try again, but not to get discouraged if once again I run into problems. And not to offend... but garage sale clothing makes me weak stomached. I don't do used clothes. But, one of the grandmas works at a department store, and gets SUPER cheap deals and discounts... the other grandmas know our situation and have pledged to send clothing on a regular basis. My mother is getting a crib and changing table/dresser for my shower gift, and my sister is going to decorate the nursery. Honestly, I have spent the past few days pondering my job. Recently, a particular job class was awarded $1/hr raises, seperate from annual increases. It brought about a big controversy, since this class appears to be the ONLY class in the organization being awarded raises beyond the piddley annual raise (Apparently, they had the same extra $1 LAST year as well). I find myself wondering if I'll *ever* make a decent wage at this job, and is it worth it to SPEND 75% of my wages just to be able to work? Is the 25% I have left worth the hassles of working? I've checked into WIC and such. We make too much money. (Ironic as it is). We don't qualify for any type of assistance what so ever.... and if we did, we'd have to sell what little bit of assets we DO have to abide by the income/asset restrictions. Even if I quit my job and stayed home, Hubby alone makes too much. (How do they figure a family of 4 is considered above poverty if they have income above $33k?) I've thought about quitting work, staying home and opening my own daycare. My work costs would be nil... and I'd have an extra income from the other children. I'd have more time to put into my Discovery Toys business..... eh, passing thoughts here mostly. You know what's sad? If I were a single, un-educated, unemployed pregnant woman with 6 other kids, I'd be living it up in both public and private assistance programs. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: bethalize on August 11, 2001, 09:10:49 am 2 for a sack that would have lasted for months!
Buying in bulk obviously makes things a little bit cheaper. Pasta, rice, potatoes, even noodles are great for this, as are tins. I changed the sort of meat that I bought. This is the one area that you have to be careful not to make false economies. Minced beef (is that ground beef?) is a big one. I used to buy the cheapest frozen bags and poor boiling water over it to get the fat out, but then I switched to a better quality as after I took the fat out there was nothing left! Joints of meat like pork are good as you can roast them one day, put the slices in gravy and baked beans the next and mince up the rest for shepard's pie the day after. Chicken is good to buy cheaply as you can't get lots of fat on a chicken. Turkey is even cheaper here as the birds are so much bigger. Pork chops are good as well. I didn't buy lean ham, but the packet, remoulded stuff. I found I had to go shopping more often in order to stop letting things go to waste. But some shops will mark down fresh things at the end of the day. Some fresh vegetables are really cheap -here it's onions, carrots, potatoes and other root veggies. I bought green veggies in season when they were cheap and plentiful and we lived off tinned tomatoes with every other dinner in the winter! I used to have a routine: potatoes with a piece of meat and fresh veg; pasta with a white sauce (fat, flour, milk) and veggies; tomato risotto; chilli with rice; pasta with a red sauce (sometimes spag bog); roast meat with roast potatoes and parsnips and veg; a brunch of sausages, bacon, baked beans and scrambled eggs. If you'd like recipies and variations on, do message me (private message facility). I do about five variations of each cheap pasta dish! Dried herbs are excellent at making things taste good. I also switched to corn oil to cook in, rather than olive oil, and margerine instead of butter. Low fat spreads (but not the very low fat ones) go a lot further as well. Casseroles are also good, or crock pot cooking. Potatoes can be boiled, mashed, baked or microwaved. Fizzy drinks were my biggest saving, along with fresh orange juice. I switched to cheaper versions, own brand lemonde for a fifth of the price, and cartons of juice instead of freshly squeezed. And there's always water, of course. To add variety, I did vegetable stir frys, I made my own shortcust pastry for pies, made my own batter (I cannot believe that people use that Bisquick stuff when batter is just flour with milk and an egg anyway!!!) for yorkshire pudding and savoury and sweet pancakes. Stewed fruit like apples are great puddings. I bought granulated sugar instead of castor and gave it a whizz in the liquidiser (watch how much you give it or it will turn into icing sugar!). We also stopped buying alcohol, but I think you have different licensing laws over there, so it's probably taxed differently. The thing I personally had to watch was spending to cheer myself up. Don't do it: it all adds up. We made it a point to do things to make life seem less drab: dinner by candlelight, pcinics on fine days, free exhibitions and so on. We cancelled the newspaper and read teletext and now, I suppose, the Internet. Would changing your suppliers for gas, electricity and so on make any difference? What about your phone, your house insurance, you car insurance? Do you have to pay water bills? Depending on your toilet, put a brick in the cistern so it uses less with each flush. Do check if this is the right type: you can't do this with the continental toilets, but the UK ones are notorious for being inefficient with water. Washing up by hand helps if you do it in a sensible way - glasses, cutlery, small crockery, dinner plates then cooking things. Gosh, I have written a lot! Did I mention public libraries? Can you rent videos and CDs from there? Make a packed lunch and eat breakfast, and you won't nibble. Mend clothes yourself instead of throwing them away. Look after your work clothes by treating stains straight away or as soon as you get home - change out of them when you get home. You could even look at making your own clothes by hand - although I am terribly bad at it and decided that this was one saving that wasn't actually going to dave any money! I wish you all the best. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: goldenearring on August 11, 2001, 09:47:48 am I would set a new focus on the Discovery Toys, jade. I know that with everything else you've got going on, it probably slides down to priority #33rd, but if you've done everything but find a way to increase your income, that sounds like the ticket. Beg or borrow some of Ilene Meckley's materials and GET TO WORK! You can do it! "Both faith and fear will sail into your harbor; make sure that only faith drops anchor. " (author unknown)
Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: mlm668 on August 11, 2001, 11:23:13 am I understand how you feel about used clothes, but when you lose income, you have to lower your standards.
A couple of questions.......why do you need a changing table? A baby can be changed on any surface from bed to sofa to the floor. All you need is a pad to place them on or even just a towel to keep the surface clean in case of a mess. Changing tables serve no real purpose other than status in my book. Instead of a chaning table, can't your mother stock you up on diapers instead? As far as the clothes - why do they have to come from a department store? Yes, the discounts are nice, but with a baby or even a small child, at the rate they grow, you do just as well buying from a Wal-Mart or K-Mart. With a department store you are paying for just brandnames, rarely is the quality any different. Again, instead of paying more for "status" clothes, can the relative buy from some other lower priced store and then use the savings to stock you up on other "necessities"? As for your car payment, have you talked to your bank? When my child support stopped in May, that was one of the first things I did when I realized it was going to be a problem. You can get extension or even refinance for a smaller payment. And the bank would rather work with you than have you fall behind. Are you driving a car or SUV? If a cheaper car is going to get you better gas mileage, then give up the new car and find something better. A lot of good used cars are certifed now - like Hondas. Instead of decorating the nursery, ask your sister(?) to stock it up instead. Believe me, no baby is going to care if the walls are papered or not. A nice mobile over the crib is all that is needed the first month or so. When they start moving around, then worry about toys and such. (I am giving these suggestions on the assumption this is your first child - if you have other children, you should have what you need - brand new isn't better.) And as far as public assistance - it is not designed for middle class. Yes, a family of 4 can survive off $33k. I've supported a family of 3 on under $25 for the past 3 years. We have a nice house (rented) and good clothes, but never top of the line. I buy what lasts, not trends. Although, if I had it to spend, I would be shopping for clothes all the time. I pay $20 for cut and color once every 4-5 weeks (my one self-indulgence) and my stylist does good work. I'm lucky to have her and that she doesn't charge prices like my uncle does in his shop. You just have to decide what you have to have and what you can live without. And be honest. You're on the right track with your nails. Not a necessity and you can do them yourself. Invest in an inexpensive buffer and buff them once a week - they'll grow faster and stay nice looking. And remember, a dollar saved on groceries is a dollar you can put in your gas tank each week. Doesn't go far these days, but every one adds up...........you save $20 on groceries in a week and you have a tank of gas. I'm not trying to be critical if I sound that way. Losing income is tough whether its just a few hundred a month or a large sum like yours. I'm sure I could do better in cutting my expenses, but there are some things I'm just not willing to do without yet (like my cut and color - I am so vain about my hair!!! ). Good Luck and hang in there. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: jadegrniiz on August 12, 2001, 12:50:28 am The changing table is a dresser, actually... but has a small lip on the top that acts as a changer as well.
This is my second child... but my daugher is 9 yrs old. I had her as a teenager. Sure, there are lots of things I can do without... and since I've had a baby before, I can identify what those things are. But this is also the last baby we are planning on having, and because of it... there are things I'd prefer NOT to do without. We chose a crib that converts to a toddler bed, daybed, then eventually a full-size bed. Since mom's buying, we figured we should at least get our money's worth out of it! MLM, clothing is to me what your cut and color is to you. There are just some things I am not willing to do... and garage sale-ing for clothing is one of them. Something I learned from my first baby.... sure, the first 6 months clothing grows out quickly, but once they start crawling and moving around alot, I've found cheap clothing to fall apart and not withstand the washings. (Target, I've found, is the only exception) Department store clothing is better quality... you do in fact get what you pay for. And if my MIL can get infant clothing at her store for the same price I can get cheap clothes at Wal-mart... why not take the better over the cheap? My new vehicle is a Pontiac Montana Mini-van. We got it "barely used" at an auction and only paid a fraction of the brand new sticker price. It was spotless and smoke-free inside (important, because of my daughter's asthma) and only had 10,000 miles. Since we just bought the vehicle in March (before the unexpected changes), I doubt we can refinance and get anything better than we already have. And because it is in fact so newly financed, trading it in for something smaller wouldn't result in anything but a loss. Changing insurance companies isn't a good idea for me either... the recent accident (my fault) caused a TON of damage... nearly $6k to my van, and I totalled the other vehicle. Switching probably wouldn't be beneficial either. You know of Irene Meckley, GE? I hear she is a great speaker... and is coming to Orlando next week (?) to speak. I'd LOVE to go.... but, don't really have the cash to splurge there. But, I've emailed all my DT contacts in hopes of learning as much as I can from them. They say Fall is the best time for DT Consultants... I'll keep my fingers crossed! Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: goldenearring on August 11, 2001, 02:37:05 pm Darlin' jade:
Do whatEVER it takes to get the cash to go and see Ilene Meckley. (I see an opportunity here to set a goal to sell one or two toys / somebody has GOT to be shopping for Christmas or a birthday and would LOVE to do their shopping with YOU!!!!!!) You will be glad you did, I promise. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: dedlered on August 11, 2001, 06:37:14 pm Jade, I will add my two cent here about clothing. I love department store clothing but I am a scrooge when it comes to spending. Here in Denver, we have some awesome thrift stores, and you won't believe what you can find. I bought three outfits (brand name, polo, hillard and hansen) today, (tags still on them) for 30 bucks, and that included a brand new pair of mules. They have ton's of baby stuff as well. Garage sales and I don't get along either but the thrift store is awesome.
I would go ahead and call your car finance company, you may not have to refinance but they can at least let you skip a payment or two. The insurance as well, call around, I bet that you will find something less expensive for the two vehicles. Utility wise, call the power company and see if they don't have a process called bill averaging, this way your payment is the same every month regardless of what you use. You may even want to post a notice at UCF or Valencia( or what ever college is closer to your home, you mentioned Orlando and I grew up there) to type term papers, to add some extra income. What about mass transit to your work, until the baby comes? 7 to 8 weeks of gas savings there, to put up for other things. That's about all I have to offer right now, but I will think on this some more, you have done alot with cutting back on cable and your nails. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: msmarieh on August 11, 2001, 07:21:34 pm Wow... Lots of good suggestions... The bottom line is that you take all the tips and sift out what to keep and what to toss. Some tips will be too extreme for you, but they might jumpstart you into considering how you could find a less extreme way of accomplishing the same ends. I happen to be of the "no way in heck will I buy clothes (especially shoes!) at a garage sale". I know many people that do and they have gotten some fabulous bargains. I just can't do it - it's a personal cultural bias. I buy on clearance with extra percent off days. It works for me.
There's tons of books out there on this subject. Do a search at the library on: thrift, frugal, cheapskate, etc. ISBN: 0375752250 The Complete Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn (pronounced like Decision) - I have this book and refer to it regularly to help get me in the mindset to look at my situation through new eyes. ISBN: 0967697409 Not Just Beans: 50 Years of Frugal Family Favorites by Tawra Jean Kellam - How to Cut your Food Budget without Depriving Your Family. ISBN: 1895629683 How to Survive without a Salary: Learning How to Live the Conserver Lifestyle by Charles Long - Some extreme ideas, but lots of tips. ISBN: 0793111188 Saving on a Shoestring: How to Cut Expenses, Reduce Debt, and Stash More Cash by Barbara O'Neill - Haven't read this one. Have no opinion. Also, I subscribe to a newsletter for living frugally. This yahoo page lists several of them that I have gotten, including The Dollar Stretcher, Cheapskate Monthly, the Frugal Family Network and others. You may have to cut and paste the address, as it is pretty long. dir.yahoo.com/Business_an...nt/Thrift/ Marie Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: jadegrniiz on August 11, 2001, 09:11:52 pm Cheapskate...Tightwad.... sounds like terms I need to work on!
MsMarie... I'm a bit like you with the clothing. If it's used in any way, shape or form, it's just not for me. And I know there are all sorts of ways I can cut back on things without "lowering myself" (as some would say) to used clothing. I checked out budget billing, and unfortunately, our utility companies here don't do that until your account is 1 year old. Since we just moved here in April, we don't yet qualify. Electric company would consider it, if we did a letter... but the rep quoted me a number that is almost as much as what we pay now... at the hottest, most expensive time of the year. Come October when it gets cooler, (and the $$ will be even tighter) it'd be really hard to look at the actual bill of $80, and still have to pay $175 because we didn't want to pay the extra $5 during the summer months. As for public transportation..... it's too difficult to accomplish here (I'd do it if I could). Our county doesn't have one area transit that goes about the county, It's divided by city, and I work in one city, drive through cities 2 and 3 and work in city 4. I'd have to change busses probably 17 times just to get to my office. That's not even considering I have errands to run for work, and also hate to be without a vehicle should my daughter have an asthma attack at school or something. I gotta go check out those websites... thanks, Marie! Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: chris68 on August 12, 2001, 07:07:07 pm Jade,
Just a couple of suggestions added to the already great ones here, coupon coupon coupon, if my dad can't get it that way, he won't most of the time unless it's on sale (and stocking up big time when it is on sale). He's very good about that, I wish I was that good. Sometimes they owe him money on prodcuts that he buys. Also DH says that if you buy two products you can pretty much clean the whole house, clorox and ammonia will clean just about anything and a big bottle of Dawn. They are becoming staples in this house. I also use store brands because they are often cheaper and they taste better too for the most part, not everything I buy mind you is store brand but when you consider at least our store offers what they call "shoppers club" discounts on top of being on sale, can't hurt to try them. Otherwise, buy bulk at Sams club or whatever you have like your tp, papertowels, etc. etc. it's much much cheaper that way. Also as far as the holidays are concerned I've made my own holiday gifts in the past when things were tight, ie, when we bought this house and a new car in the same year, ouch! I made christmas ornaments and gave gift certificates to the local mall to go along with it, and they were a hit. Most people I know now want to know how to make the ornaments I've made, they are simple and don't take that much time to do. You've got plenty of time between now and then to get a project going. Hope that helps some. Chris68 Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: jadegrniiz on August 12, 2001, 09:11:19 pm I wish I could just use bleach and water, or ammonia, vinegar and the likes to clean my house. Unfortunately, my daughter's asthma won't allow for strong odors that those products leave behind. Last time I used a fresh scent bleach to clean the toilet in her bathroom, and ended up rushing her to the ER with an out of control asthma attack. Doc said to go back to my clorox wipes and unscented products to clean my house with.... since we knew she wasn't irritated by them.
I have a twist to my original question. Hubby and I were talking a bit, and we concluded that the only way we can make this better is to increase our incomes. Being short nearly $700 per month at our current income/expense ratio, we can't figure how using coupons, and living like tightwads is going to make things better. My question is this: Knowing that my boss had to really go out on a limb to pay me what I make now, and that she acknowledges that I deserve more..... should I let her know that at my current rate of pay, I can't afford to work there after the baby without a better paycheck? I wouldn't want it to sound like a "gimme a raise, wench, or I'll quit and stay home with my baby" threat.... but I wonder if that's what it'd sound like no matter HOW I word it. After my leave is up, things in my office are REALLY going to pick up. The annual fundaising campaign will have kicked off, and our annual event would be just around the corner. They'd really be in a bind if I left, because my skills are SO specific, and they'd never get someone in and trained in time to keep things up. Now add to that..... this raise would have to be nearly $2.00/hr to make it of any value to me. Thoughts on that? Title: You asked for thoughts / here are mine again, Lori! Post by: goldenearring on August 12, 2001, 09:35:50 pm Work your part-time business. You didn't sign up for it just to get a discount on Discovery Toys: YOU have got a dream in your heart, and I know it. (And you know I know it, 'cause I'm hanging onto this suckah like a barnacle a cruiseliner.)
Even if you only booked 2 or 3 appointments a week and held 1 or two, I bet you could easily walk away with an extra $100-200 spendable in your pocket (per WEEK), and that's for an investment of 3-5 hours. You are a smart cookie, and likeable, too. Your family deserves for you to invest the time in it, and you deserve the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that you have what it takes to provide for your family in what looks like its time of need. Da** it, Lori-kins, if I could, I'd send you a check for $15.00(this is what I seem to recall her seminars go for) to go see Ilene Meckley, but if you really want to see her, you *will* find a way to get the $15 on your own. I know that if you get a certain number of other people to attend, you get to go free. She makes doing business so easy that anybody with half-a-gumption to study her techniques and (yikes! here's that 4-letter "work" word) apply them can make a decent living, part-time or otherwise. Hard truth: living in fear that you have convince others to give you what you need in order to live in the fashion you want to life is no life at all. In fact, living like that really sucks, and it sucks a lot of self-esteem out of people. Reach all the way down in yourself and rally. "Arise, shine, [baby] for your light has come!" (Whoopi G. translation: "Get up offa dat thing.") Now, when you need a miracle is the very best time to step out in faith. *You* are the person in the very best position to do something about this situation. Turn on your charm and open up the floodgates. (And, yes, the baby needs you, but he or she will be happy to spare you for a few hours a week while sleeping so that eventually you are able to have more flexible hours and decent pay that YOU are in control of.) So, well, ok, if I don't get kicked off of this website after this mini-tirade, I never will! Good night, love and courage from GE because I know that YOU CAN DO IT! Title: One Last Thought Post by: goldenearring on August 12, 2001, 09:41:32 pm Jade, if your boss had to really stretch to get you your current salary, how is he or she going to feel when you tell them, basically, that you can't work for that after the baby arrives? Personally, I don't think anybody is indispensable, regardless of how a situation looks. I'm sure you would word it better, but it seems to me the only way to get more dough out of the current situation, based on how long you've been there, which is like hardly at all, is to do more. And to do more, takes more time which I don't think you have. We are all replaceable, even me! (Imagine that.) LOL
Title: Re: One Last Thought Post by: goldenearring on August 13, 2001, 06:08:53 am (Some people would probably be happy to come to your house to do the Discovery Toys thing. Yes, it would be challenging to do it as Karen points out; however, it would also be rewarding when you did do it. It would certainly be less difficult than trying to make money appear out of nowhere.)
Title: Re: One Last Thought Post by: goldenearring on August 13, 2001, 06:52:27 am Ksmile:
That is a *great* project, and I'm glad to hear that it is still running. There are many benefits besides just saving money, just as you pointed out. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: msmarieh on August 13, 2001, 07:19:42 am Jade, there is something that I have to ask. My hubby and I would never have accepted a job transfer with a 10K drop in salary. What were the circumstances that forced you to accept this rather than staying where you were and having hubby find a new job (even at the lower salary - you would have kept your job and avoided the move expenses)? Be sure you tracked ALL move expenses. Anything that wasn't reimbursed by your company may be able to be deducted from your taxes next year.
Have you sat down and written up a budget detailing what you are currently spending? You are short $175-200 a week (approximately). This is a pretty realistic amount of money to make on the side with a little creativity. Basically you have to either cut your expenses (keep looking, there's probably more ways you can reduce them), eliminate items (necessities versus luxuries - the definition becomes clearer the closer you get to bankruptcy), increase your income, or create some combination thereof. Can your husband get a part time job in the evenings and on the weekends? I realize this cuts into family time, but sometimes it is necessary until you are stabilized. If you are going to do this, try to get a job somewhere that gives you practical discounts (wal-mart, home depot, etc.) but don't spend all your salary there! Could he cut lawns for neighbors, chop firewood, shovel driveways, pick up dog pooh, (whatever!!!), hire himself out as a handyman at $20/hr plus materials if he has any talent for it? Also, how about picking up a few other lines of business like Tupperware, Avon, Tastefully Simple? You can at least display the brochures at work even if you don't have time to host the parties. I don't know how the details work on these, if you have to sell a certain amount to keep your distributorship or if there is a high upfront cost or what. Run a small ad in your local paper announcing it. Also, send them a press release announcing that you are now a local Discovery Toys distributor (including all contact info of course). They will usually print it in their business section (especially if you are in a very small town). There's no cost to submit it. Pick up a book at the library on marketing yourself - I have 101 Ways to Market Yourself and The Secrets of Power Marketing. Marketing does not have to be expensive. Did you make up Discovery Toy flyers for yourself and leave them at every bulletin board (local hot dog stands, grocery stores, library, etc.) to get the word out? Do you have a special skill or hobby you could use to earn extra money? One of my friends is a fabulous sewer - she sews custom christening gowns - clients pay all materials plus her time. Another friend is a good painter. She paints murals for people for extra money. Another had a craft business. I used to make jewelry in the evenings. Check out the library for books on home based businesses to see if there is something you could do. It's not unrealistic to make an extra $100-200 a week with a few hours of work and you would still be home with your family. Have you looked around your house to see if there is anything you can sell? Have you got an extra bedroom where you could take in a boarder for a couple hundred extra dollars a month? (Perhaps a college student that could help with the childcare for a little less rent?) Can you babysit for neighbors? Dog walk? Housesit or catsit for people out of town? Have you got a home computer? Could you offer tutoring or type papers for local college students? I charge $20-30/hr for tutoring locally and get one or two new clients every week from a $4 ad in the local paper. Most of my clients get 3-4 hours of tutoring (and with 1-2 clients a week, this can be as much as $75-150/week extra money for me!). And don't think you have to be in city for this, most of my clients so far have been from rural areas with populations of about 500-5000! Is there a market research company located nearby? There's one near me that has home typists input all their returned market research forms. They pick them up once a week and drop them off the following week. Is your home weather proofed well? Consider adding some inexpensive home improvements to lower your electric bill. Water heater covers and timers are supposed to pay for themselves within a few months, plastic window cover sheets, caulk for any seams, weatherstripping around doors. You can get this stuff pretty cheap (watch for sales) and it can make a big difference in your energy bill. Check more closely into your lease. Sometimes they CAN be broken. My sister was able to break hers because the apartment was making her son's asthma worse. You say your daughter has it - has it been worse in the apartment? You may be able to break it with 30 days notice for medical reasons (a note from your doctor may suffice for this). That shouldn't cost you your security lease. Alternatively, you may be able to sublet your apartment until May. Start investigating alternate locations and seeing what is out there and how much of a difference there is in price. Take into account the moving costs you might incur and the additional cost of re-hooking up utilities, etc. Go and talk to one of the NON PROFIT debt management services. Make sure it is a non profit and not one of the ones that charges you outrageous fees. They will work with you to set a budget, help you pay down your bills, negotiate lower interest payments, and extend the payment terms. However, more than likely they will require that you cut up your credit cards so you don't get into any worse of a situation. One of my favorite phrases: "You can't get out of debt by incurring more debt." Contact your insurance company and ask them if there is anything you can do to lower your premiums - perhaps a higher deductible, have you got all your discounts for things like anti-theft devices, multi vehicle discounts, home (or renters) and car insurance at same place? How long was your car financed for? Four years? Five Years? You may be able to find a loan for six years that would give you some breathing space. Refinancing is NOT necessarily out of the question. Bottom line here, stop thinking of reasons why things WON'T work and start thinking of alternative ways to MAKE THEM WORK! Good luck! (holy cow, this got long! Didn't mean to write a novel.) Marie Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: msmarieh on August 13, 2001, 07:23:29 am One more note for those that hate to cut out the colorings, manicures, etc. Check out the local cosmetology schools! Students have to get in "x" number of hours before they can get their license to practice. The public is often allowed to use them (under the supervision of an instructor, and only more advanced students - not the beginners) for some really inexpensive salon services. Satisfaction is usually guaranteed!
By me, the school charges $4 for a manicure! Investigate other schools as well - high school auto class for auto repairs - make it a class project, dental school for routine dental work. Your locals might not offer it, but heck you never know - maybe they do. Be creative!!! Marie Title: You'll make it! Post by: phoenix55 on August 13, 2001, 07:24:06 am Jade,
I can't add any more suggestions than you've already received. However, as a little moral support: many of us have been in your shoes and are now thriving and better for it. Can your husband get a second job--anything at all, just a few hours a week, just to tide you over. You will get through this. It won't be pleasant, you're going to be stressed, but pull together with your husband and work through it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You've got all the tools to make it. As far as your job, I agree that you haven't been there long enough to approach your bosses about a $2 raise. Your raises will come, I'm sure, as you prove yourself and take on more and more responsibility. Each raise will help a little more and soon this time in your life will be over. I know this is a job you love. If you have to work, work at something you enjoy, don't leave if at all possible. I'll say a prayer for you and your family. A friend said something to me once about how you know you've "made it:" When you can order a pizza anytime you want. Hope you'll be ordering pizza this time next year! Title: The end of the rope... and I'm on it! Post by: jadegrniiz on August 13, 2001, 05:50:49 pm Some of you are right.... I probably did make excuses as to why certain things wouldn't work for us.
But, the facts remain: We can't break our lease without losing the $1500 deposit. We can't change car insurance companies, because no one will take me with my current driving record (2 accidents, my fault each time, within the past 3 years) without tripling the premiums we already pay (and that's IF they accept me). I made a few calls today just to test the waters, and was nearly laughed at. The car is financed to the max, with the best possible interest rate we could get. A mortgage broker told us recently that going to any sort of debt management program would effect our credit ratings just as a bankruptcy would... and that it'd take 7 years before we could hold a respectable mortgage. Truth to this is unknown, but I assume there is some validity to it. Credit cards only make up a whopping $200 of our bills. Hubby was transfered, yes. Why? Because he ran off his mouth to the wrong big-whig and got fired (technically). The only way he kept *A* job was to move. Seeing as he has no other experience to fall back on, and that I was 5 months pregnant.... we couldn't take the loss of his income at 100%, but at the time, the 7K seemed alot easier to swallow at the time. Hindsight, I wish we never would have left home to be here. He works 55 hours a week, Monday thru Saturday. There's no time in there at all for a 2nd job (all be it, he's thought about it). We do not know a soul in this god-forsaken town. No matter what we do, we can't find people we are compatible with. I have no friends, he has no friends. We don't have a babysitter, and can't find one that doesn't look like a gang-banger. Closest family is over one hour away. The topic of money (and the lack thereof) makes me cry instantly. Sure, I grew up in a wealthy household... grew up in the best of neighborhoods... so, naturally I have higher expectations out of my life. It doesn't make me feel better than someone else... I feel to each his own. I love my job... but I didn't take it for that reason... I needed something immediately, and that's why I took it. To be honest, I probably would have turned down the job simply because of the pay if I didn't feel as if it were the only offer I was going to get. Karen, I loved your co-op plan. I wish I could figure out a way to make it work for me. How do you start something like that when living in a VERY tiny town, and don't know a soul? How can you make that work when you are working full time, and don't usually eat until 8pm? I'd love to know... because it sounds interesting. I requested a packet today from the county about starting home daycares. My MIL has one herself, and I spent a long Sunday talking to her about it. Maybe it could work, maybe it's better left alone. We'll see... Just sign me.....swinging at the knot on this old, worn out rope.... Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: fireproof on August 13, 2001, 06:44:30 pm Poor dear - you're spinning your wheels! Take a deep breath now, and relax!
I suggest that you IMMEDIATELY sit down and make a complete budget (I do mean complete-no fudging). If there is a not-for-profit consumer credit counselor or service in your area, I suggest you contact them before you get in over your head! I'm not talking bankruptcy or anything like that Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: goldenearring on August 13, 2001, 07:00:17 pm Lori, you are a winner, and I know that you're going to come out of the corner fighting. If you need to sit back like fireproof says and take a deep breath (which sounds like a good idea), do it, but not for long. Are you hooked up with a good church?
Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: fireproof on August 13, 2001, 07:30:38 pm oh dear - I lost part of my posting....
I was going to say, it's one thing to just decide that you must spend XXX amount of dollars on a particular item, because you believe that that is what's necessary (and yes, I'm talking about baby clothes here - but this would apply to anything); it's quite a different thing to discover that there just isn't XXX amount of dollars to spend. This, I think, is where people get into trouble. Please, please, please - if you cannot deal with your impending financial situation (and I do sense some denial in your posts), get a professional to help you analyze your finances dispassionately, and to help you figure out exactly what you need to do to stay solvent. Like it or not, a portion of your income is spoken for - and you do seem to have pared that down as much as possible - and what is left HAS to stretch to cover everything else, the new baby included. Personally, I'm a little perplexed by your reaction to used baby clothes; in my office we routinely exchange boxes of outgrown items. Must be a cultural difference. we have no shame in prefering to spend our hard earned money on things with more staying power (and it's nice to share). I've given things to supervisors who make three times what I do, and gotten them from clerks who earn a lot less - we're all parents looking out for our kids, and it just seems practical to save what money we can for their braces, dances lessons and college educations. Title: Re: The end of the rope... and I'm on it! Post by: mlm668 on August 13, 2001, 08:15:26 pm Jade,
You brought up what a lot of people don't realize about credit counseling services. Using one does appear on your credit record. But you can still do what they do yourself. If it is a strain to meet any payments you have, contact the creditor and explain your situation. Tell them what you can do right now and ask if they will accept partial payments for a certain amount of time. I had to do that with my car. It was already financed beyond its value, but my bank worked with me and gave me enough to pay off my credit card (had to cancel the card, but I couldn't complain - no temptation to use it if I don't have it). I received a smaller payment for both the car and credit card together for 90 days and when that time is up, we are going to look at my finances again and take it from there. NEVER SAY NEVER. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. I understand your not liking used clothes. To each their own. I never turn down "hand me downs" for me or my girls. If something isn't our size or style I give it to Goodwill. But on another note, have you thought about putting some of your barely worn clothes in a consignment shop? We all have things we have bought, then decided we didn't really like the item and so barely wore it. Why not go through your closet and your husband's and daughter's and see what you have. This will serve a dual purpose of giving you some more space and a little extra income for other things. Might be a good way to get some money for Christmas. Things can always be worked out one way or another - sometimes you have to just swallow your pride and ask for help to work them out. It doesn't happen overnight, but it happens. Make of list and work on one thing every other day. I've been robbing Peter to pay Paul for most of my adult life. One thing I've learned is that its not the end of the world even though it may feel like it some days. I do the best I can and ask for help when I need to. I may never be rich or even financially secure, but my children are healthy and we have a roof over our heads. There are so many more who have so much less than we do. Just take one thing at a time and one day at a time. All of this worrying is not good for you or your baby and staying healthy for your baby and your daughter are more important than any amount of money. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: curioust on August 13, 2001, 09:30:29 pm Sorry to hear about all of this stress--this should be a great time for you.
I have an aunt that works as a Consumer Credit Counselor. She would (definitely) require you to cut up your credit cards--you should see her office bulletin boards!!! I don't know who counseled you about that service--but they are wrong. I work in the Finance Industry, and while it (Credit Counseling) isn't the best option from a finance person's eyes--it's better than Bankrupty!!! It will help you manage this crisis (and any future crisies--sp?). I can tell you that your creditors would much rather work with you--than receive a Bankruptcy Notice. In the older novels, they used to have a term "apopletic fit". I could never really visualize (understand) the term. Until I watched a Bank VP "have one" after he received a Bankruptcy Notice on a customer--and the customer never said a word to him about being "in trouble". It wasn't "pretty". Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: tlc2559 on August 14, 2001, 07:40:13 am Jade - just wanted to add my .02....
I am lease/purchasing a house right now. I enrolled in a debt management program.....AFTER I talked with my mortgage lender....she assured me it would not affect me adversely....yes, it does appear on your credit report, but as long as they do what they say and don't pay your creditors late, it tells mortgage people that you are trying to get out of debt.....the payments are reasonable and it doesn't take that long to set it up. I paid a small fee (they let me pay it over 6 months), but I was current on everything when I signed up and so they kept me on track. It is a LOT better than bankruptcy....you DO have to get rid of the cards, but that was my objective. It worked for me. Maybe talk to a mortgage person and see what they have to say.....it could help you like it did me. Hang in there....I've been where you are and it's hard and it's stressful, but there IS a light at the end of the tunnel....for me, it just seems to be a very loooooooooooong tunnel! But, I'm working on it. If you want to know who I used, email me privately.....tlc2559@administrative-assistants.com I know there have been times when I've dissolved into tears at the thought of my financial situation....but again, hang in there! Try to take it easy and I'll keep you in my prayers. tlc Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: donnap99 on August 14, 2001, 08:59:54 am Jade, I've been in your shoes. In 92, when my dks were 2, 4, and 5 I was in a car accident and had to be out of work following back surgery for 4 months. Prior to the accident we were already living paycheck-to-paycheck and had many of the same circumstances you describe. Let's just say I made more than DH at the time, and that wasn't much. But, like you, our combined incomes were too much to get any assistance. We did manage to pull ourselves out of it, but it took another 5 years or so. We're still not saving, but at least we're paying in cash instead of credit.
Someone mentioned Tightwad Gazette, so I read the rest of the replies to see if anyone mentioned Frugal Moms. I've recently found this forum - even if you don't post, reading all these other ladies' suggestions will help - if nothing else, then to help you feel better. Give them a visit; this is the URL for the boards directly: www.frugal-moms.com/boards/index.php?s= Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: sisterg on August 14, 2001, 09:13:56 am You don't hear from me much in the forums because I'm uncomfortable taking the time at work to post my advice/opinions, and at home I have to fight for computer time! However, I may have some help for you on this one, Jade. And let me apologize before I start - this is going to be a long one!
I'll preface this by letting you know I'm no tax expert. But.....make sure you and your husband are claiming as many exemptions as you possibly can on your W-4s. By upping your exemptions you will have more immediate money available in your paychecks each week. You will want to consult a tax expert or someone in your payroll department first. Now is not the time to look at your yearly tax refund as a savings plan. You need that money now. Since your family income has dropped considerably, you should be okay by doing this. It's been many years since I've had a maternity leave, but I received 65 or 75% disability income from my company during my 6 weeks off. A co-worker passed on to me that you can change your W-4 exemptions twice a year, and a lot of the women headed for maternity leave would up their exemptions to a certain limit (I'm thinking 12) before they left and when they returned they changed it back. This gave them more disposable income while they were disabled. Again, your own personal tax situation would dictate what you should do. Also, if you're having money deposited each week in 401-Ks (which I believe are still good long term investments/savings), you may want to consider discontinuing that for awhile to have more immediate income available. Okay - enough from me. I'll just close by saying I absolutely empathize with you. My family (of 4) has been through similar situations. Nine years ago my husband started his own business. The first year his income was only $6,000!! His business and all of us are doing great now, but it was a struggle at first. Try not to stress - take care of that baby!! Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: Katie G on August 14, 2001, 09:28:55 am Jade,
"Assistance" doesn't necessarily mean "government". Are there any private, church, or community-based organizations in your area? (They're usually local.) I remember back in the early '80s (I was in my early teens) and the recession was hitting my neighborhood bad (a major employer had gone belly-up) a bunch of the churches pulled together to pool resources (food, money, clothing) to help out the families where, all of a sudden, the main paycheck was gone. Now, this was a "tough, blue-collar" area and these people would rather DIE than go on any kind of "public assistance", and many were resisting the idea of going to the church for "help", but the priests and ministers did their best to handle it very discreetly. (This was part of the idea...to preserve their dignity.) It was just a little help to get them over the rough times. Maybe there's something like that in your area? You may have to dig a little for information, but it's a possibility.... Keeping you and yours in my prayers, Did Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: whitesatin on August 15, 2001, 12:18:03 am This suggestion probably won't be too popular, but here goes....Cloth diapers instead of disposibles. It is only within the last 25 years, or so, that disposible diapers have become the "norm" rather than a "luxury". You can save thousands per year by using cloth diapers, at least when you are at home. And don't kid yourself Jade, all these little savings tips DO add up. If you save a little here, a little there, those savings will add up. When you look at them separately, it may not seem like much, but there is a lot of truth to the saying, "a penny saved is a penny earned".
I wish for you and your dear family all the best. I know you are hurting right now. I think you have received a tremendous amount of support from your TAA family. We have offered you a "wealth" of suggestions. Start implementing them and make a game of keeping track of your savings. I truly believe you will be astounded at what you can accomplish. Challenge yourself and then rise to that challenge. You are strong and you are a winner, now go out and show us how it is done. Please keep us posted about your progress because I know you will progress. WhiteSatin Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: radaro on August 14, 2001, 01:03:27 pm I have nothing significant to add (except for my "no bottle sterilizer" tip in another forum) All I can do is add my prayers and best wished.
Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: bethanial on August 15, 2001, 06:58:08 am I've read a lot of good tips. And whoever said "a little here or there might not look like much, but you add it all together and there's the savings" is absolutely right. I grew up in a situation similar to yours where we had NO money. But, as far as the kiddie-poos are concerned, just keep supplying them with love, and they won't recognize the difference. It wasn't until I got out of high school that I realized the sacrifices my parents made and the stuff I "did without" because the money wasn't there. But I don't remember being poor during childhood, because our family life was rich in love.
I'm not planning on it, but the cloth diaper idea is a good one, and using a diaper service is still cheaper than disposables. Not as cheap as washing/drying yourself, but still cheaper than disposables. I even read on one website where one lady was so poor when a 2nd or 3rd child came along that her kitchen dish towels were the kids diapers! I guess where you don't like to "give" is the quality of clothes (me? I grew up in hand-me-downs, so as long as they look decent, I don't care), for me it would have to be the area of convenience on this one. Especially since my most hated household chore is laundry. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: disallusioned on August 15, 2001, 09:13:32 am Ok, here's my suggestion: Put your wants/likes in a heirachy chart and then start doing away with or making adjustments until you meet them all.
For example: food shelter (including elect, water, heat, etc) transportation (insurance, gas, etc) school costs/daycare bills entertainment (cable/movies) clothes So I would make sure that the cost of food, shelter, transportation, and daycare/school were covered. Then I would start cutting corners to meet other requirements. If it means that I do my own laundry instead of sending it out in order to get more money for groceries, then I'd do it. Ditto with clothes. If I had to wear hand-me-downs or good used clothes, then I'd do it if it meant leaving more money to cover daycare costs, ensure I keep a roof over my child's head, etc. I'd be shopping at the dollar store and flea markets for anything I could get (deodorant, toothpaste, white socks, etc) in order to save money. I guess I don't have pride because I can't say that there's anything I wouldn't do (or do without) if it meant that my kids would have food, a house, etc. Worst case I can see would be me eating Spam and macaroni and cheese (I can't stand either and won't allow Spam in my house right now) but I'd do it if it meant more money available for other necessities. Suggestion: Ask around work or your neighborhood, find someone who cuts hair and trade a haircut for something you can do for them. Or go to the hairdresser one last time and get an easy to care for cut, which would allow you to cut your own hair and still look professional. Not much, but it could save you minimum $8.00 a cut. This is one I do myself because my mother was a hairdresser. She taught me to cut hair and mine is a simple cut. I splurge and go to a salon to have it done about 3/year. Most of the time I wait for my parents to visit. Good luck! Here's hoping that some of the suggestions given by posters is able to help you. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: dragonladybug on August 16, 2001, 12:40:47 am I can't add anything to the money saving tips, but I do know about home-based daycare. I did the state licensed home daycare for a couple of years when my son was small, so that I could stay home with him. Money was very tight - we sold my car and relied on just the one (DH is self employed and shop is right by the house), and I used almost every one of the penny pinching ideas already listed - still use some of them.
Daycare is harder than it appears - not the kids, but their parents!!! I loved having the kids, as long as they were all in the same age group. Mixing age groups increases the workload exponentially. The most miserable time I had in daycare was when I agreed to add a baby into my regular group of toddlers - my son was a year old when I started this, so I got kids that were between 18 mos. and 3 yrs. In Georgia I was allowed to have 6 paying kids in addition to my own. You will have a newborn, so the best bet for you would be to have 2 or 3 babies not too much older than your own - this way their schedules can be adjusted to dovetail somewhat as far as naps, mealtimes, playtimes, etc. I would always just settle the baby down and a toddler would wake him; or get all the toddlers situated with fingerpaints or other activities while baby was napping and of course he'd wake up just at the time I was trying to keep toddlers from eating crayons or something! After one week, I had to tell the mother to make other arrangements. It took a couple more weeks to do so, and I thought I'd go crazy before then. I did love the kids and remember each of them fondly (this was about 17 years ago). Their parents on the other hand, drove me crazy. Getting paid on time was sometimes an issue, a big one was pick up and drop off times; they'd send "goodies" that someone in the group could not have, or god forbid another child played with their kid's toys, etc. Also to get a state license, you have home inspections, you have to turn in meal plans, you have to register backup sitters, you have to get waivers for all kinds of things from the parents. So be very careful before you start a daycare business. Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: winkiebear on August 16, 2001, 12:48:19 am The daycare at home thing ... that's a good idea. In our state (IL) if you have less than a certain amount of children (I think the number is 5) including your own, you are not required to be licensed. At least, that's the way it was about 2 years ago. So check out the licensing thing, your state's Department of Children & Family Services will help you out with that. In IL it cost about $160 to get the license, but then you can watch a few more children and you also can charge more. Here, the going rate for a licensed daycare provider starts at $160 per child per week.
It all depends on you, more than anything. Will you be able to handle watching other children while getting used to your own little bundle? Anyway, Jade darling, when the door doesn't seem to be open, look around for the window ... one of them's always cracked. winkie Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: venim102 on August 15, 2001, 03:26:45 pm Jade,
Do you have a Marshalls, TJ Maxx, or Ross near you? They sell brand new, name brand clothes, linens, houseware, accessories, and shoes for half price. These are all items that never sold in the finer stores before the new arrivals. venim102 Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: jadegrniiz on August 15, 2001, 04:45:33 pm Actually guys, I've read thru my posts and y'all must think everything I wear is designer! I don't do designer clothes very often, and when I do, it's only because it was on sale. Same goes for my daughter (and soon to be baby). Then again, I don't see Health-Tex as designer... we have an outlet here and you can REALL rack up good buys on good clothes. Even out-prices discount stores.
As for the home daycare... here in my county, you don't have to be licensed, just registered. There are no home inspections, but a subsititute plan is required. I had planned on maybe taking in one infant (plus my own), 2 preschoolers, and 2 school agers (one of which is my own). I worked in daycare while in college in 1995-1997, so I know all about the parental unit and the chaos they can bring to a job. I think that money will be tight with an infant, regardless of WHAT I do for an income. Good news is that hubby got some positive feedback at a meeting today. It's a tiny step, but its an inch closer to a promotion back to his former position (the one that paid $10k more). We thought for sure he'd been blackballed from ever being manager again.... Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: whitesatin on August 15, 2001, 05:11:48 pm That's wonderful news Jade! Sending positive vibes your way for hubby's promotion and an end to your financial worries!~~~~~~~~~~~~^^^^^^^^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WS Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: goldenearring on August 15, 2001, 08:26:28 pm Great news, Lori. Just keep pluggin' along, one step at a time. Please don't ever give up your dream of what you can do with Discovery Toys, though.
Title: Setbacks are really steps forward Post by: daisylee on August 23, 2001, 10:42:03 am Hi Jade!
I've been going through all the wonderful responses everyone gave you, and the thing is, so much of this is so obvious. I know as a kid, we had nothing, my father was out of work fairly often due to injury and illness(and there were always large medical bills to pay)...as well as having a sickly brother...things like that. And yet we four kids always had what we needed, as well as food on the table, and a roof over our heads. My mother busted her butt...worked hours and hours of overtime, filling in in other departments of the factory when there wasn't work in her own! She was lucky to be able to to that, and she had me taking care of the house, my little brother, etc. Not every family and every situation is the same, but the one thing we can all count on is the fact that that which does not kill us, makes us stronger. I see that in the way you've reached out to ask for ways to see you though. Every little thing you're doing will help, and there will be other things that will present themselves along the way. You've done the most important thing, and that's to "delay gratification"...not do those things that make you feel good at the moment, but down the road you kick yourself for doing. That's the hardes thing to do....once you start that, finding other ways of saving and corner cutting are easy! But it will pass...keep your hopes alive in your heart. Set a goal of time when you expect to start seeing results, re-adjust them as needed. But mostly remember, there have been those before you that came out of these same situations just fine, and those that will come after. It's all in how you decide to handle the situation. It can overcome you, or you can overcome it. How ever you decide to do it, I just know, YOU shall overcome! I'm praying your husband's promotion comes though, and for any other relief that will ease you angst and your finincial burden. God is similing on you, Jade...and you have all of us here too! Daisylee Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: solargal on August 30, 2001, 02:18:12 pm The one thing that I really like to do is shop at resale shops - I wouldn't buy clothing at garage sales but the resale shops are another thing altogether. Most of the clothes were hardly ever used and are in very good condition I don't mind wearing them at all. We have a game at work who can get the cheapest dresses at a resale shop. I've been known to buy $9 dresses! Is that a bargain or what? In my area (Houston, TX) there are plenty of children's and adult's resale shops - you should reconsider your idea of wearing used clothing. I know you like your job, but I think you should think about changing jobs for a better paying position.
Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: execsec on August 30, 2001, 02:32:09 pm My secret weapon for saving money on clothes is I also shop at consignment shops. Our Junior League runs one here and I hardly ever make it out of there without finding something to buy. I always find Ralph Lauren skirts and pants. I've bought several $300-$500 suits for around $75-$100 each. I even bought a Nieman Marcus dress there for my daughter once for $15.00. Everyone always asks me where I get all my nice clothes; I tell them I shop "out-of town." I can get really nice clothes for about a fourth of what they were originally.
Title: Re: Dealing with Setbacks.. Post by: ozbound on August 30, 2001, 05:38:12 pm I've been living the frugal life for years now, and working on digging out of debt. I don't really have anything to add to the wonderful suggestions offered here but I would like to invite you to join the MoneyLife Boards at IVillage.com. I've been involved with the Debt Support Group for some time now and am a "Community Leader" at Savers Circle. The ladies on these boards are very supportive and have lots of great feedback and wisdom to offer. I've discovered more ways to save money and get out of debt faster on these boards!
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